Fic - There's a Guide to This Somewhere (Nina Dobrev/Ian Somerhalder) pg, 1/1
Title: There's a Guide to This Somewhere
Summary: Nina has always had to work harder than most at heeding the warnings of others. Every story has a beginning. This is theirs.
Rating: pg
Author's Notes: 2,704 words. For badboy_fangirl as a belated birthday present. Companion piece of sorts to This Might End Up a Story. If this is not your sort of thing, please just slide right on by. All mistakes are mine. These characters, however, are not.
Nina doesn't have a vast amount of experience with these kinds of things.
The lights and the cameras she can deal with. She can adjust and compartmentalize with the best of them and with time and experience comes knowledge and a certain amount of comfort in certain situations. Nina has been in this business for long enough to have it become something akin to a second skin.
Boys, however, she doesn't handle so well.
There have been some, of course - plenty of boys and men alike, all of them thrown into the middle of her career and constantly revolving life. A few lasted, but most of them didn't. By the time she makes her way to Georgia - feeling far too old to be merely twenty - she has come to terms with this aspect of her life. She uses Diaz and Aniston as examples to set the paradigm for herself and knows finding the right one isn't always as easy as people sometimes make it appear. She knows sometimes having a career and a life of your own, and knowing yourself truly and completely needs to come first before all the other things can fall into place.
Nina has long since accepted that being chronically single isn't necessarily a fault or something she has to constantly carry with her.
They'll be plenty of time for that later.
(They've always said she was an old soul.)
_
The connection is instantaneous.
Nothing like anything she's ever known and a week after Ian's hand slides into hers and his smile tugs at the corners of her own mouth, she starts romanticizing a subtle possibility of what if in the back of her mind. She crushes on him hard and falls fast long before he even notices she exists in that particular way.
It's quiet of course.
Nina has always prided herself on being honest and kind and Ian has a girlfriend that he seems to love, so she keeps it to herself.
If she flirts a little more than usual or lets her fingers draw themselves across his shoulders and linger for longer than necessary though, well, that can't be helped. It's overt and instinctual and Nina has always been a physical person. She talks with her hands and shows all of her cards through facial expressions. She wears her heart on her sleeve and always has. The flirting is natural, the connection with him easy and right. It really is meant to be benign, not malicious in any way - most of the time anyway.
Nina always tries so very hard to be the best possible person she is capable of being.
It doesn't always work out to her advantage.
__
She has known Candice for years through friends of friends and small industry events. They become close early on during shooting and form a friendship that is quick and solid. It's a rarity in this business. Fast friends are few and far between and it's always been hard to discern between the honest intentions and the not-so-honest intentions. It's a struggle - even for Nina, for somebody who perceives herself as being so far down on the ladder of Hollywood that her feet can almost touch the ground.
Most of her friends have disappeared through the years. Were lost to the distance her career had put between them, so when Candice shows up and they click perfectly into place, Nina holds on like her life depends on it.
"You need a boy," the blonde announces one afternoon.
It's just a few months into shooting and the show is doing better than they all expected. Paul and Ian are rehearsing off to the side and Nina eyes them from underneath her sunglasses. The twist of her mouth in response is almost customary by now, and she is starting to love watching Ian work. Loves watching him pour himself entirely into every scene and into every word. When she's with him, when they're Damon and Elena, Nina can't help but feed off the energy and make some of it her own.
She thinks she's better for it. She thinks they all are.
"No," Nina draws out the word and palms her water bottle back and forth between her hands. Candice is barely paying attention, fingers flowing over the keys of her Blackberry with ease, but Nina isn't offended. They do this a lot. "I think I'm going to focus on my acting." She draws her eyesight back to Candice and presses her lips into a thin line. "That's what's important, right?"
Candice's laugh is low but full and filled to the brim with utter disbelief. "Whatever you say," she singsongs, but her smile is honest.
It's mostly true.
__
Long gone are the days of sleeping in and most mornings she's first to the set, in makeup and rehearsing before anyone else even arrives. Ian is always second and Nina tires so very hard not to fall in love with the moments they share when it's just the two of them. When they talk about anything and everything until the sun comes up or Paul arrives in interruption.
"I haven't seen Meghan in a while," she comments softly one morning.
They're in make-up. Michelle is curling her hair and applying eyeliner. Nina is Katherine today, not Elena, and she has spent the better part of the morning trying to get into the right mindset.
Ian rubs a hand over his freshly shaved chin and taps two fingers against his left knee. "We broke up," is all he says, quiet and unassuming, and just the tiniest bit sad.
Michelle pauses and so does Nina. She hadn't been expecting that. She had hoped, maybe, in that place deep down that she never likes to reference, but definitely wasn't expecting or prepared for his reply. Still, Nina does what she does best and smiles kindly, fingers reaching out to rest against his forearm for a moment, offering the strength she doubts he needs, but she offers anyway.
"I'm sorry," she replies quietly and honestly means it.
"It wasn't meant to be us, that's all." Ian smiles softly and shrugs. "We both always knew that. It was only a matter of time, I think."
Nina nods slowly and tries so very hard not to be hopeful.
__
After Meghan leaves and never comes back, a friendship is cemented between her and Ian.
There's coffee and phone calls and a lot of time spent doing absolutely nothing in-between scenes and on their few days off. She spends more time with him than not and most days he is the first person she talks to when she wakes up and the last person she speaks to before she goes to bed. It's the best relationship she's never had and she tries not to dwell on how every other boy in her life, every man she's ever met has never made her feel quite like this.
It's her mother who first notices the change.
"I just want you to be careful," she says, tone soft but full of warning. Careful in a way only a mother can truly manage without being abrasive.
Her family comes to Georgia for a visit and she's introduced them to just about everybody, but her mother's her mother and has always been able to read between the lines. She always just knows and Nina is not at all surprised that she catches on quickly to what everyone else is either blind to or just doesn't does care about.
"I'm fine. There's nothing --"
"It's a large age gap, sweetheart. And I know we always said that you find love where you find it, but it does make a difference."
"Mom --""
"Just be careful."
Nina's sigh is tired but respectful, and instead of arguing a lost cause she merely nods, leaning forward to kiss her mother's cheek like good daughters are meant to do.
"I will."
__
It gets stuck in her head after that. Her mother's be careful an always present warning, a roadblock proudly proclaiming do not venture here.
She's always had to work harder than most at heeding the warnings of others.
__
Inevitably there is some network event.
It's early spring when the heat is starting to stick around, and Ian and her are sent to Hollywood to represent the show. Nina drinks too much champagne and doesn't eat nearly enough to counteract the effects, so when he asks her to dance she's too tipsy to say no.
It does something to her - being that close to him. His thumb presses into the soft skin of her back, his fingers intertwining with hers. He's hums the song low in her ear and she can feel his smile, can close her eyes and imagine it, see the crinkles at the edge of his mouth and the way the right corner twists upwards just a tad bit more than the left. He's been eyeing her all night, flirting with lingering touches and innuendo dripping from every word that falls out of his mouth. It's been happening for weeks, both of them slowly closing the distance between them.
Always, Nina has been so painfully diligent about not pushing him farther than she thinks he's able to handle. Farther than she's ready for.
For so long they've been toeing that boundary between friends and something more and each and every day she finds herself growing more and more exhausted from it.
"You're pretty," he whispers against her cheek and she smiles softly at the feel of his stubble brushing against her skin. He's more than likely drunk, but she lets her heart skip a beat anyway, allows her stomach to tangle in knots.
Nina closes her eyes and buries herself closer to him. The song changes, becomes slower and soft. They don't miss a beat in the transition.
She’s laughing when she replies, "So are you."
__
For years she'll remember that moment.
She'll look back on it and see herself crossing the line she's become so good at toeing. She never regrets it.
__
"I think I like Ian."
It leaves her mouth in a whoosh, the words tangling around her sigh and it feels good, she thinks, to have it out there. To be able to tell someone this thing she's been bottling up inside for months. Candice stares at her for a moment from her position in the chair across the room, and Nina watches her carefully before the blonde busts out laughing.
"You think, really?"
Nina rolls her eyes. "You're being so helpful right now, honestly. I don't know why I bother to tell you these things"
Candice sobers and reaches for her coffee and the latest script, but the giggles still start and stop, tumbling out of her mouth without hesitation. "You act like this is new information."
"What does that even mean?"
"It means that everybody knows that you two totally have the hots for each other. There's a pool going on. It’s up to 300 bucks."
Nina crosses her arms in an indignant huff. "That's disgusting."
"You shouldn't make it so damn obvious. You are actors, you know. You could try to act a little less mushy gushy," Candice shrugs and sips her coffee before continuing, "and if you could hold off for, like, one more week, I'd really appreciate it. Paul's deadline is next Friday and I'd really rather him not win my money."
Nina makes a show out of rolling her eyes and appearing incredulous, but she's really trying not to laugh. "What was yours?"
"A month ago." Candice eyes her for a moment. "I gave you too much credit, apparently."
"Everybody always underestimates me," Nina singsongs playfully with a sharp tsk punctuating her words. Her phone vibrates in her pocket and she reaches for it blindly, knows it's Ian before even looking. They're supposed to be meeting for lunch in an hour and it's her turn to choose. "So what do you think I should do?"
Candice shrugs and barely looks up from the script in her hands. "Go for it."
Nina knows it's probably easier said than done.
__
There are things to consider and Nina has always been prudent about thinking first and acting later, so she makes pro and con lists in the back of her head and weights her options continuously.
It takes her a week to move past the fact that they work together and if they try and fail it could be disastrous in a million different ways. It takes her another week to get over the fact that he is fast becoming her best friend, her confidant in every way, and the fear of jeopardizing that, of losing it altogether is almost paralyzing.
It takes three days to gain enough nerve to say something to him and when she finally does, it isn't at all eloquent or romantic. It definitely isn't like anything she had imagined in her mind a million times over, and the contrast is a bit difficult to swallow, the reality a bit harsher than she had imagined it to be, but she takes it in stride.
They're at a bar, the season drawing to a close, and Candice and Paul have conveniently left the table for the dance floor and Nina and Ian to themselves.
"Did you know they have a pool for when we're going to get together?" she asks without hesitation or preamble.
It's a Friday night and too loud, so Nina finds herself screaming over the music and chatter because she can barely hear herself think let alone speak. She has to lean in close, her lips near his cheek in an effort to make sure he hears her.
Ian's smile is instant and wide and she allows her heart to constrict and contract in her throat at the sight of it. He shifts in his seat so he's leaning closer to her and she breathes him in and makes a memory to file away.
"I did," he nods and her eyes go wide and mouth falls open slightly in response.
"You did?" Her tone is incredulous and she punches him in the side with most of her weight. "Did you not think this was information I should, I don't know, be privy to?"
His fingers tangle around the neck of his beer and he does this thing where he ducks his head to hide his smile.
Finally, he shrugs. "I was waiting for you to figure it out."
Nina just laughs. She knows he means more than what he's letting on, and she thinks she understands. Figures that for as much as she needed herself to be ready, he needed her to be certain. There's a moment where she thinks about kissing him and probably would have if they were different people in a different place.
Instead she just smiles and tells him to buy her another drink.
He does, of course.
__
They share a cab home and when the driver turns onto her street, Ian kisses her.
He tastes like beer and pretzels and his fingers are smooth against the skin of her cheek. He kisses her soft and slow, not at all urgent. It's nothing spectacular. There aren't fireworks and stars. It just feels right and certain, like the pieces are finally falling into place. He pours everything he has into it, like he's been waiting for it just as long as she has, and her fingers curl into the cotton of his shirt, his name passing her lips softly as he pulls away.
"You know," she starts quietly, bottom lip between her teeth as she tries to distinguish the million and one thoughts flowing through her mind. Ian rests his forehead against hers, his eyes still pressed closed. "This is probably a very bad idea."
He laughs and the sound vibrates under her skin and settles in for the long haul. He kisses her again before saying, “All the good ideas started out as bad ideas."
"Really?"
"I have no fuckin' clue," he chuckles. "It just sounded like a good thing to say right then."
Nina's laughing as her fingers reach to the curve of his jaw, tilting his lips towards hers.
Summary: Nina has always had to work harder than most at heeding the warnings of others. Every story has a beginning. This is theirs.
Rating: pg
Author's Notes: 2,704 words. For badboy_fangirl as a belated birthday present. Companion piece of sorts to This Might End Up a Story. If this is not your sort of thing, please just slide right on by. All mistakes are mine. These characters, however, are not.
Nina doesn't have a vast amount of experience with these kinds of things.
The lights and the cameras she can deal with. She can adjust and compartmentalize with the best of them and with time and experience comes knowledge and a certain amount of comfort in certain situations. Nina has been in this business for long enough to have it become something akin to a second skin.
Boys, however, she doesn't handle so well.
There have been some, of course - plenty of boys and men alike, all of them thrown into the middle of her career and constantly revolving life. A few lasted, but most of them didn't. By the time she makes her way to Georgia - feeling far too old to be merely twenty - she has come to terms with this aspect of her life. She uses Diaz and Aniston as examples to set the paradigm for herself and knows finding the right one isn't always as easy as people sometimes make it appear. She knows sometimes having a career and a life of your own, and knowing yourself truly and completely needs to come first before all the other things can fall into place.
Nina has long since accepted that being chronically single isn't necessarily a fault or something she has to constantly carry with her.
They'll be plenty of time for that later.
(They've always said she was an old soul.)
_
The connection is instantaneous.
Nothing like anything she's ever known and a week after Ian's hand slides into hers and his smile tugs at the corners of her own mouth, she starts romanticizing a subtle possibility of what if in the back of her mind. She crushes on him hard and falls fast long before he even notices she exists in that particular way.
It's quiet of course.
Nina has always prided herself on being honest and kind and Ian has a girlfriend that he seems to love, so she keeps it to herself.
If she flirts a little more than usual or lets her fingers draw themselves across his shoulders and linger for longer than necessary though, well, that can't be helped. It's overt and instinctual and Nina has always been a physical person. She talks with her hands and shows all of her cards through facial expressions. She wears her heart on her sleeve and always has. The flirting is natural, the connection with him easy and right. It really is meant to be benign, not malicious in any way - most of the time anyway.
Nina always tries so very hard to be the best possible person she is capable of being.
It doesn't always work out to her advantage.
__
She has known Candice for years through friends of friends and small industry events. They become close early on during shooting and form a friendship that is quick and solid. It's a rarity in this business. Fast friends are few and far between and it's always been hard to discern between the honest intentions and the not-so-honest intentions. It's a struggle - even for Nina, for somebody who perceives herself as being so far down on the ladder of Hollywood that her feet can almost touch the ground.
Most of her friends have disappeared through the years. Were lost to the distance her career had put between them, so when Candice shows up and they click perfectly into place, Nina holds on like her life depends on it.
"You need a boy," the blonde announces one afternoon.
It's just a few months into shooting and the show is doing better than they all expected. Paul and Ian are rehearsing off to the side and Nina eyes them from underneath her sunglasses. The twist of her mouth in response is almost customary by now, and she is starting to love watching Ian work. Loves watching him pour himself entirely into every scene and into every word. When she's with him, when they're Damon and Elena, Nina can't help but feed off the energy and make some of it her own.
She thinks she's better for it. She thinks they all are.
"No," Nina draws out the word and palms her water bottle back and forth between her hands. Candice is barely paying attention, fingers flowing over the keys of her Blackberry with ease, but Nina isn't offended. They do this a lot. "I think I'm going to focus on my acting." She draws her eyesight back to Candice and presses her lips into a thin line. "That's what's important, right?"
Candice's laugh is low but full and filled to the brim with utter disbelief. "Whatever you say," she singsongs, but her smile is honest.
It's mostly true.
__
Long gone are the days of sleeping in and most mornings she's first to the set, in makeup and rehearsing before anyone else even arrives. Ian is always second and Nina tires so very hard not to fall in love with the moments they share when it's just the two of them. When they talk about anything and everything until the sun comes up or Paul arrives in interruption.
"I haven't seen Meghan in a while," she comments softly one morning.
They're in make-up. Michelle is curling her hair and applying eyeliner. Nina is Katherine today, not Elena, and she has spent the better part of the morning trying to get into the right mindset.
Ian rubs a hand over his freshly shaved chin and taps two fingers against his left knee. "We broke up," is all he says, quiet and unassuming, and just the tiniest bit sad.
Michelle pauses and so does Nina. She hadn't been expecting that. She had hoped, maybe, in that place deep down that she never likes to reference, but definitely wasn't expecting or prepared for his reply. Still, Nina does what she does best and smiles kindly, fingers reaching out to rest against his forearm for a moment, offering the strength she doubts he needs, but she offers anyway.
"I'm sorry," she replies quietly and honestly means it.
"It wasn't meant to be us, that's all." Ian smiles softly and shrugs. "We both always knew that. It was only a matter of time, I think."
Nina nods slowly and tries so very hard not to be hopeful.
__
After Meghan leaves and never comes back, a friendship is cemented between her and Ian.
There's coffee and phone calls and a lot of time spent doing absolutely nothing in-between scenes and on their few days off. She spends more time with him than not and most days he is the first person she talks to when she wakes up and the last person she speaks to before she goes to bed. It's the best relationship she's never had and she tries not to dwell on how every other boy in her life, every man she's ever met has never made her feel quite like this.
It's her mother who first notices the change.
"I just want you to be careful," she says, tone soft but full of warning. Careful in a way only a mother can truly manage without being abrasive.
Her family comes to Georgia for a visit and she's introduced them to just about everybody, but her mother's her mother and has always been able to read between the lines. She always just knows and Nina is not at all surprised that she catches on quickly to what everyone else is either blind to or just doesn't does care about.
"I'm fine. There's nothing --"
"It's a large age gap, sweetheart. And I know we always said that you find love where you find it, but it does make a difference."
"Mom --""
"Just be careful."
Nina's sigh is tired but respectful, and instead of arguing a lost cause she merely nods, leaning forward to kiss her mother's cheek like good daughters are meant to do.
"I will."
__
It gets stuck in her head after that. Her mother's be careful an always present warning, a roadblock proudly proclaiming do not venture here.
She's always had to work harder than most at heeding the warnings of others.
__
Inevitably there is some network event.
It's early spring when the heat is starting to stick around, and Ian and her are sent to Hollywood to represent the show. Nina drinks too much champagne and doesn't eat nearly enough to counteract the effects, so when he asks her to dance she's too tipsy to say no.
It does something to her - being that close to him. His thumb presses into the soft skin of her back, his fingers intertwining with hers. He's hums the song low in her ear and she can feel his smile, can close her eyes and imagine it, see the crinkles at the edge of his mouth and the way the right corner twists upwards just a tad bit more than the left. He's been eyeing her all night, flirting with lingering touches and innuendo dripping from every word that falls out of his mouth. It's been happening for weeks, both of them slowly closing the distance between them.
Always, Nina has been so painfully diligent about not pushing him farther than she thinks he's able to handle. Farther than she's ready for.
For so long they've been toeing that boundary between friends and something more and each and every day she finds herself growing more and more exhausted from it.
"You're pretty," he whispers against her cheek and she smiles softly at the feel of his stubble brushing against her skin. He's more than likely drunk, but she lets her heart skip a beat anyway, allows her stomach to tangle in knots.
Nina closes her eyes and buries herself closer to him. The song changes, becomes slower and soft. They don't miss a beat in the transition.
She’s laughing when she replies, "So are you."
__
For years she'll remember that moment.
She'll look back on it and see herself crossing the line she's become so good at toeing. She never regrets it.
__
"I think I like Ian."
It leaves her mouth in a whoosh, the words tangling around her sigh and it feels good, she thinks, to have it out there. To be able to tell someone this thing she's been bottling up inside for months. Candice stares at her for a moment from her position in the chair across the room, and Nina watches her carefully before the blonde busts out laughing.
"You think, really?"
Nina rolls her eyes. "You're being so helpful right now, honestly. I don't know why I bother to tell you these things"
Candice sobers and reaches for her coffee and the latest script, but the giggles still start and stop, tumbling out of her mouth without hesitation. "You act like this is new information."
"What does that even mean?"
"It means that everybody knows that you two totally have the hots for each other. There's a pool going on. It’s up to 300 bucks."
Nina crosses her arms in an indignant huff. "That's disgusting."
"You shouldn't make it so damn obvious. You are actors, you know. You could try to act a little less mushy gushy," Candice shrugs and sips her coffee before continuing, "and if you could hold off for, like, one more week, I'd really appreciate it. Paul's deadline is next Friday and I'd really rather him not win my money."
Nina makes a show out of rolling her eyes and appearing incredulous, but she's really trying not to laugh. "What was yours?"
"A month ago." Candice eyes her for a moment. "I gave you too much credit, apparently."
"Everybody always underestimates me," Nina singsongs playfully with a sharp tsk punctuating her words. Her phone vibrates in her pocket and she reaches for it blindly, knows it's Ian before even looking. They're supposed to be meeting for lunch in an hour and it's her turn to choose. "So what do you think I should do?"
Candice shrugs and barely looks up from the script in her hands. "Go for it."
Nina knows it's probably easier said than done.
__
There are things to consider and Nina has always been prudent about thinking first and acting later, so she makes pro and con lists in the back of her head and weights her options continuously.
It takes her a week to move past the fact that they work together and if they try and fail it could be disastrous in a million different ways. It takes her another week to get over the fact that he is fast becoming her best friend, her confidant in every way, and the fear of jeopardizing that, of losing it altogether is almost paralyzing.
It takes three days to gain enough nerve to say something to him and when she finally does, it isn't at all eloquent or romantic. It definitely isn't like anything she had imagined in her mind a million times over, and the contrast is a bit difficult to swallow, the reality a bit harsher than she had imagined it to be, but she takes it in stride.
They're at a bar, the season drawing to a close, and Candice and Paul have conveniently left the table for the dance floor and Nina and Ian to themselves.
"Did you know they have a pool for when we're going to get together?" she asks without hesitation or preamble.
It's a Friday night and too loud, so Nina finds herself screaming over the music and chatter because she can barely hear herself think let alone speak. She has to lean in close, her lips near his cheek in an effort to make sure he hears her.
Ian's smile is instant and wide and she allows her heart to constrict and contract in her throat at the sight of it. He shifts in his seat so he's leaning closer to her and she breathes him in and makes a memory to file away.
"I did," he nods and her eyes go wide and mouth falls open slightly in response.
"You did?" Her tone is incredulous and she punches him in the side with most of her weight. "Did you not think this was information I should, I don't know, be privy to?"
His fingers tangle around the neck of his beer and he does this thing where he ducks his head to hide his smile.
Finally, he shrugs. "I was waiting for you to figure it out."
Nina just laughs. She knows he means more than what he's letting on, and she thinks she understands. Figures that for as much as she needed herself to be ready, he needed her to be certain. There's a moment where she thinks about kissing him and probably would have if they were different people in a different place.
Instead she just smiles and tells him to buy her another drink.
He does, of course.
__
They share a cab home and when the driver turns onto her street, Ian kisses her.
He tastes like beer and pretzels and his fingers are smooth against the skin of her cheek. He kisses her soft and slow, not at all urgent. It's nothing spectacular. There aren't fireworks and stars. It just feels right and certain, like the pieces are finally falling into place. He pours everything he has into it, like he's been waiting for it just as long as she has, and her fingers curl into the cotton of his shirt, his name passing her lips softly as he pulls away.
"You know," she starts quietly, bottom lip between her teeth as she tries to distinguish the million and one thoughts flowing through her mind. Ian rests his forehead against hers, his eyes still pressed closed. "This is probably a very bad idea."
He laughs and the sound vibrates under her skin and settles in for the long haul. He kisses her again before saying, “All the good ideas started out as bad ideas."
"Really?"
"I have no fuckin' clue," he chuckles. "It just sounded like a good thing to say right then."
Nina's laughing as her fingers reach to the curve of his jaw, tilting his lips towards hers.