Just wondering...

[abbylinn]

I'm technically not a survivor; I haven't gotten out of the situation yet. But I deal with verbal and emotional abuse from my mother, who calls me names and profanity everyday. I'm 17. But how do you deal with people who don't take your claims seriously

Comments

[chaosdancer]

I'm 41 now, and my mom has done the same to me all my life. The only thing I could do that worked was break off contact with her. She's never understood how hurtful she could be...to her, the whole world is against her and she doesn't understand why, doesn't understand that it's her words that make other people not want to be around her. That's no excuse. If she had any interest in understanding, she'd have tried to find out by now what she was doing wrong. But she likes being the victim, even though she's the biggest bully I've ever met.

You may never be able to make other people understand entirely how much pain you're in - the important thing, though, is that *you* understand it, that you don't try to talk yourself out of feeling what you feel, just because you aren't getting the support you need. Write down the things she says, so you have a record of it. That way you'll know that it wasn't just you, you weren't being crazy. Show a counselor the things she says, if you can. This saved my sanity a few times, when someone was really playing head games with me and trying to make me crazy.

If you can't leave until you're 18, then I'd agree with some of the other posters - seek counseling, even if you don't tell her. Spend time with your friends if you can. Cultivate the good stuff inside yourself that you know is there. And don't let her guilt you into staying with her any longer than you have to. My mom did that...when I was your age there wasn't any internet and I didn't have a lot of friends and no real way to make friends or meet people, so I wound up staying with her longer than was good for me. Things are different now. I hope you can find a better place to be, when it's time for you to move on.

It may take a while to recover from her abuse, and it may be a lot of hard work. It was for me. Even being happy can be scary when you're used to an abusive situation, but it's worth it.

I'm sending you good wishes...I hope you'll be ok.