(no subject)
Justin told me yesterday that it was important to him that I try to become Christian with him.
More like.
He'll never talk to me again if I don't.
It honestly sounds to me like his mother won't let him date me.
Because somehow it was just a coincidence that she finds out the day this shit goes down.
I feel like I'm loosing myself in this.
What I've believed in for so long.
Is it time for a change?
How can I, when it's nothing something I can possibly think of believing in?
I told him I would do anything for him.
Anything.
Just.
Why wouldn't he tell me before?
That it was so important?
It's only important when his mother yells at him.
It doesn't make sense.
I think he's lying.
But I can try.
It wouldn't hurt, really.
I'm an open minded person.
But is my being an open minded person why I'm an atheist?
Because I can take things in that others can't?
I don't know what's right in the world.
It's my fucking life to know the truth.
I could question every single existance for my life, and never be scared for myself.
I almost puked when I was on the phone with him.
Either because I was giving up who I am for a boy, and I was so utterly disgusted that all of my insides wanted to escape me.
Or because I was crying for a straight two hours.
I can't promise him anything.
But I can try.
I would try anything for him.
Anything.
Even if it means changing whats in my heart.
Hayls818: well he should have thought about that before he started dating you
Hayls818: god doesnt want forced love
Hayls818: and you shouldn't have to fake it
UrperfectCRIMExo: I won't fake.
UrperfectCRIMExo: Either I believe.
UrperfectCRIMExo: Or we're done.
More like.
He'll never talk to me again if I don't.
It honestly sounds to me like his mother won't let him date me.
Because somehow it was just a coincidence that she finds out the day this shit goes down.
I feel like I'm loosing myself in this.
What I've believed in for so long.
Is it time for a change?
How can I, when it's nothing something I can possibly think of believing in?
I told him I would do anything for him.
Anything.
Just.
Why wouldn't he tell me before?
That it was so important?
It's only important when his mother yells at him.
It doesn't make sense.
I think he's lying.
But I can try.
It wouldn't hurt, really.
I'm an open minded person.
But is my being an open minded person why I'm an atheist?
Because I can take things in that others can't?
I don't know what's right in the world.
It's my fucking life to know the truth.
I could question every single existance for my life, and never be scared for myself.
I almost puked when I was on the phone with him.
Either because I was giving up who I am for a boy, and I was so utterly disgusted that all of my insides wanted to escape me.
Or because I was crying for a straight two hours.
I can't promise him anything.
But I can try.
I would try anything for him.
Anything.
Even if it means changing whats in my heart.
Hayls818: well he should have thought about that before he started dating you
Hayls818: god doesnt want forced love
Hayls818: and you shouldn't have to fake it
UrperfectCRIMExo: I won't fake.
UrperfectCRIMExo: Either I believe.
UrperfectCRIMExo: Or we're done.