yea...
Well not too much has been going on...I started my job on Wednesday, its alright despite the fact that my feet and back are killing me by the end of the night. I saw The Incredibles with Ted, Heather, Danny, Shannon, and Damien, and another girl...Tina I think her name was. I might be wrong. Its late...and I feel emo right now. Well, I guess not really emo, but just....I dont know...blah. I had a bad day at work, Im tired. My mom has become a Nazi over the past few days. I get in trouble for the littlest things now that arent even worth gettin mad at me about. And I guess Im a screw up in her eyes for the time being. I just feel so stressed. Its hard to wear a smile all the time when insides you're freaking dying, but you keep that smile on to keep others around you happy and unworried. Work is good...but the whole idea of having to pester people while they're are walking around isnt exactly my idea of "Selling" because I know when I shop I dont want someone following me around while I shop. I just wanna look and find things on my on leisure. Anywho...I guess now that Im working, I get a little worried because I'm afraid Im going to lose something thats close to me...I dont know if I should be worried, but I am. Nothing is scarier than rejection or losing someone/something (and spiders but thats another subject)...Anywho, I just have a lot on my mind and I have no idea where to start nitpicking at it. Christmas is almost here, yay! Uuuummm...oh yea, heres what I told my friend earlier, kinda explains why Im not in that great of a mood: this one girl took one of my sales and it was like $100 (we get paid 6.75 + comission) and took like 5 more of my sales, this other girl took my sales, I was helping this lady for like ever and then I had to go do something and then took the ladys clothes that she was holding and then took out a paper with her # on it and set it on the clothes after I helped the lady....and this guy I dont even know was spreading rumors about me...im being deprived of sleep...my mom has been on my ass about every little thing, even if its pointless for the past few days..heres the letter she wrote to me in an email after I told her I failed my government test and why I didnt turn in my project:
First of all , I want to thank you for being open and honest about your failure to take care of business. I am more disappointed than mad. Please don't try to give me excuses on why you couldn't get this done. You didn't get it done because you let your social life interfere with your school work. No other reason. You had the time, you chose not to do it. Don't let your grades drop. You really only have two classes that matter. The bank of Mom is gonna shut down like a broken rollercoaster if you start to slip up now.
I love you very much, baby. Please..... stop screwing up.
the last part..."stop screwing up"...that madfe me cry...im not the bad kid....my sister screwed up SO much when she was my age, my mom fuckin pampers her and I get the butt end of everything....its crap...my sister cant take care of her kid that she has now and shes pregnant again, she doesnt have a job....she steals from me and my mom just kinda thinks its a game now to see "whats missing now"...Im not screwing up....Im struggling and she doesnt even give me a chance....she doesnt care....I told her the brakes on my car were squeeling and that the belt were screeching really bad and she said "thats nice"....my sister dropped outta high school, my mom is lucky that I havent followed my sisters footsteps....now I would never follow in my sisters footsteps, Im not that dumb, but my mom seems to think so....
K now...fuck....um, I forgot what I was going to say....Im tired, but I cant sleep. blah. Tomorrow I have to work and hopefully I get to see Ted sometime before I go. Thats if he wants to chill. =P What the EFF!!! Its freakin cold. I think Imma head to bed now because now Im gettin kinda sleepy. Night people. Leave me comments? thx