empty emotions, tempting thoughts, fucked up thinking...(donnot judge me.)
Somedays, I wish I could close my eyes and start over in life. But then, would I be as "happy" as I am today? If I knew the bad things that were going to occure, and stopped them before they did, would I actually have a mother like I used to? Or would it all be the same?
It's been almost 7 months since she's actually came over to see her own daughter. Not to drop something off. Not to take me somewhere. But to stop by and actually sit down a while and visit with me. Will she come to just make sure I'm still alive? Or will she actually care a wee bit?
I don't know why I allow myself to be hurt by this anymore. I keep telling myself that things are going to change and I will be that sweet little girl again that she and all her friends knew...but they never do..they never change.
I can't just drop her on the side like she did me. That'd be fucked up. Then everytime I'd look in the mirror, it'd be her that stared back at me...Or could I? Could I face the fear of being alone? Could I face the fear of not having her around?
..I suppose $9,600 is worth way more than your own daughter. Of course it is! Money = joy = life = success = eternal happiness, right??!I wish I could spit on everyone of you who think that..I wish I could make all of you have an income to struggle upon. I wish you'd all buy your dog food before your own fucking meal. And then, just for fun, when I got it, I'd lite a $100 bill in front of all you "used to be rich" fucks face..But I bet you'd just snicker at me like you always do. I bet you'd just make me feel like a loser like you always do. I bet you'd taunt something in my face like you always do!!
I feel for all the incredibly poor and hungary ppl in this world. I wish I could do so much for all of you, but the only helpful thing I've contributed is always finishing my plate; leave no food behind. But we all know where that's got me...
Fuck it. And this is for you, Dustin. The 1st part of learning the meaning of life is this:
"The rich are weak; the poor is the strongest."
There, eat my nuts! Good night.
-Chelle
It's been almost 7 months since she's actually came over to see her own daughter. Not to drop something off. Not to take me somewhere. But to stop by and actually sit down a while and visit with me. Will she come to just make sure I'm still alive? Or will she actually care a wee bit?
I don't know why I allow myself to be hurt by this anymore. I keep telling myself that things are going to change and I will be that sweet little girl again that she and all her friends knew...but they never do..they never change.
I can't just drop her on the side like she did me. That'd be fucked up. Then everytime I'd look in the mirror, it'd be her that stared back at me...Or could I? Could I face the fear of being alone? Could I face the fear of not having her around?
..I suppose $9,600 is worth way more than your own daughter. Of course it is! Money = joy = life = success = eternal happiness, right??!I wish I could spit on everyone of you who think that..I wish I could make all of you have an income to struggle upon. I wish you'd all buy your dog food before your own fucking meal. And then, just for fun, when I got it, I'd lite a $100 bill in front of all you "used to be rich" fucks face..But I bet you'd just snicker at me like you always do. I bet you'd just make me feel like a loser like you always do. I bet you'd taunt something in my face like you always do!!
I feel for all the incredibly poor and hungary ppl in this world. I wish I could do so much for all of you, but the only helpful thing I've contributed is always finishing my plate; leave no food behind. But we all know where that's got me...
Fuck it. And this is for you, Dustin. The 1st part of learning the meaning of life is this:
"The rich are weak; the poor is the strongest."
There, eat my nuts! Good night.
-Chelle