(no subject)
ARGH.
i don't know why i think that noise sums up everything i'm feeling, thinking, doing, dreaming...but i most definately do.
everyone seems to have their life together and are moving forward with things, so mature and adult. me? in college. in a dorm. no car. no driver's license even. no apartment. no couches or furniture. no eating utensils or plates or real food. pop tarts. i have pop tarts. and the cherry kind, not even real pop tarts. and once again everyone is getting married or engaged or christmas presents. hi. me? not even remotely comfortable with any kind of talk like that in my life right now. can't make any decisions regarding relationships one way or the other. stuck in some weird limbo place that i can't pull myself out of. no place to even have a wedding. no one i would want to punish enough to marry, because let's face it, that would be submitting some unlucky kiddo to a lifetime of drama and insanity and me freaking out every twelve minutes about nothing. kind of like right now. and no money to buy any christmas presents for anyone at all, which will just make me feel terrible. so everyone? don't buy me things. please and thank you.
i just need to crawl in a hole for a second
i don't know why i think that noise sums up everything i'm feeling, thinking, doing, dreaming...but i most definately do.
everyone seems to have their life together and are moving forward with things, so mature and adult. me? in college. in a dorm. no car. no driver's license even. no apartment. no couches or furniture. no eating utensils or plates or real food. pop tarts. i have pop tarts. and the cherry kind, not even real pop tarts. and once again everyone is getting married or engaged or christmas presents. hi. me? not even remotely comfortable with any kind of talk like that in my life right now. can't make any decisions regarding relationships one way or the other. stuck in some weird limbo place that i can't pull myself out of. no place to even have a wedding. no one i would want to punish enough to marry, because let's face it, that would be submitting some unlucky kiddo to a lifetime of drama and insanity and me freaking out every twelve minutes about nothing. kind of like right now. and no money to buy any christmas presents for anyone at all, which will just make me feel terrible. so everyone? don't buy me things. please and thank you.
i just need to crawl in a hole for a second