Term Paper for Douglas
I want to know what you all think of my term paper if you chose to read it.
Abuse: Something Everyone Should Avoid
Abuse, whether sexual, physical or verbal, no one should have to go through it, but we all do. Even if you don’t realize it, the people that you love the most will abuse you - intentionally or unintentionally.
Merry Shelly’s Frankenstein is a perfect example of how abuse can affect a person. The monster was being abused because he was different. Any kind of abuse is harmful not only to the abused person but to the people around that person as well.
Statistics are a lot of the time based on what people think and not on what the truth really is, but in the following statistics it is the truth. It is sick and sad. One in three girls and one in seven boys will be abused by the time they reach eighteen years of age. Eighty-five percent of the abusers are family members or family friends (Crnich V - 2). Up to fifty percent of the cases get reported or the family moves away from the abuser. Sexual abuse usually begins at the age of three or eleven and the offender will try to become a “special” friend to the child. In the year 1979, 669,000 children were reported for being abused or neglected; then in 1980, 1,154,000 children were also reported abused or neglected; finally in 1991, 2,694,000 children were reported abused or neglected (Bender 19). These numbers are outrageous and they are about 28 years old! Imagine how the numbers are today and the kids that aren’t reported! What is happening to the children that don’t get reported? If you are being abused and get the chance to run, DO IT! Run outside and scream while looking for a phone to call the police. No one should have to go through abuse.
There are going to be some terms that might not be known unless you know about abuse, so here are the definitions of these terms. Reality Warping is when you know you said or did something but they make you doubt yourself anyway. Demanding Agreement is when they make you agree that they are right when they really aren’t.
Verbal abuse is when someone you love or care about says hurtful things to you. Abusers don’t realize that what they are saying is harmful. Some don’t notice that by abusing the person more, they can be pushing them away rather then keeping them near (Evans 31-31). Few of the abusers don’t notice they are doing anything wrong until it is done to them. There are different ways to verbally abuse people. Controlling their time is one. The abuser will lie or make up excuses and make the person fell like it is their fault. Another way is by controlling their space. They will try and limit the contacts, invade the quiet time, privacy, wake the person up for no reason and even put pressure on the on the other person to have sex (Evans 33-34). They can also control by using body language and gestures. They will try reality warping and demand that you agree with them (Evans 36). You can encounter verbal abuse with parents, teachers, friends, bullies, siblings, boyfriends/girlfriends, yourself and others. Anybody can be a potential abuser.
If you are still unsure if you’re being verbally abused here are some more ways that might go unnoticed: defining the truth, this is when they say that they know the truth and you don’t know anything; putting you down, this will lead you to doubt yourself later on in life; putting you up, will make you think that you are only good for certain things. They will also categorize you or characterize you. Categorizing is when they say that you are like everyone else (i.e. all women are the same.) and characterizing is when they compare you to someone, usually your mother or father.
Sexual abuse is when you are looked at or touched in any way that makes you feel uncomfortable. There are ways in identifying possible sexual offenders. They have no close friends and low self-esteem. Teenage sexual offenders have other qualities. Most of them are boys, they, also, have no close friends, they’re unable to relate to girls their age, sex is there tension/stress reliever and they don’t have a close relationship with their father (Rossi 12). Your child will start acting weird if they are being sexually abused. They will have trouble eating and sleeping, show a sudden fear towards someone and have unexpected sexual knowledge that they might be too young to know about otherwise (Rossi 13). Sexual play among children is normal and healthy behavior. If they are five or more years apart and/or are being teased for not joining, however, it is abuse. If you suspect your child is being abused go to a private place and talk to them about it. Never doubt your child and reassure them continuously. Call Child Protective Services or the police and explain the problem. Offer your child love and support and protect their privacy. Get support for yourself and always remember: it is not you or your child’s fault; it is the offenders fault (Rossi 14-16).
Physical abuse is when you are hit, slapped, pushed, punched, or put in an environment with extreme danger. If your son or daughter is being physically abused their most private parts may start to bother them.
There are different ways to keep your kids safe from the offenders. One way is to give your children a “family password” so if someone they don’t know is picking them up they can ask what the “password” is to make sure that the person is safe to go with. If your child is being abused make sure to call authorities as soon as possible and make sure you give them your name, location, tell them that you are being attacked or abused and are afraid for your life and where the abuser is in relation to where you are and if they are armed or not (http://www.justice.gov.yk.ca/prog/cor/vs/whattodo.html#rcmp).
If you or your child is being abused, in any way, there are measures that you can take to assure that it will be less traumatizing in the future. You can take yourself and your child to see a psychiatrist that specializes in these matters. There are also group meetings that you can attend with other people that have been abused (i.e. Alcoholics Anonymous). These things will help in the long run, but if you must move away. Do everything you can to protect you and your family.
Abuse will always be either intentional or unintentional but don’t stand for it! Even if you think you deserve it you don’t. Don’t be afraid to tell someone that you are being abused or molested. The best thing you can do is tell someone that you are in trouble and need help. Abuse is like rum, cigarettes, beer, weed, etc: it turns even the most respectable man (or woman) into complete troublemakers, if you will, and it is a vile “drink” (http://www.hostultra.com/~vampfiles/piratesscript2.html scene 19: marooned again).
My word count is 1178.....close enough.
Abuse: Something Everyone Should Avoid
Abuse, whether sexual, physical or verbal, no one should have to go through it, but we all do. Even if you don’t realize it, the people that you love the most will abuse you - intentionally or unintentionally.
Merry Shelly’s Frankenstein is a perfect example of how abuse can affect a person. The monster was being abused because he was different. Any kind of abuse is harmful not only to the abused person but to the people around that person as well.
Statistics are a lot of the time based on what people think and not on what the truth really is, but in the following statistics it is the truth. It is sick and sad. One in three girls and one in seven boys will be abused by the time they reach eighteen years of age. Eighty-five percent of the abusers are family members or family friends (Crnich V - 2). Up to fifty percent of the cases get reported or the family moves away from the abuser. Sexual abuse usually begins at the age of three or eleven and the offender will try to become a “special” friend to the child. In the year 1979, 669,000 children were reported for being abused or neglected; then in 1980, 1,154,000 children were also reported abused or neglected; finally in 1991, 2,694,000 children were reported abused or neglected (Bender 19). These numbers are outrageous and they are about 28 years old! Imagine how the numbers are today and the kids that aren’t reported! What is happening to the children that don’t get reported? If you are being abused and get the chance to run, DO IT! Run outside and scream while looking for a phone to call the police. No one should have to go through abuse.
There are going to be some terms that might not be known unless you know about abuse, so here are the definitions of these terms. Reality Warping is when you know you said or did something but they make you doubt yourself anyway. Demanding Agreement is when they make you agree that they are right when they really aren’t.
Verbal abuse is when someone you love or care about says hurtful things to you. Abusers don’t realize that what they are saying is harmful. Some don’t notice that by abusing the person more, they can be pushing them away rather then keeping them near (Evans 31-31). Few of the abusers don’t notice they are doing anything wrong until it is done to them. There are different ways to verbally abuse people. Controlling their time is one. The abuser will lie or make up excuses and make the person fell like it is their fault. Another way is by controlling their space. They will try and limit the contacts, invade the quiet time, privacy, wake the person up for no reason and even put pressure on the on the other person to have sex (Evans 33-34). They can also control by using body language and gestures. They will try reality warping and demand that you agree with them (Evans 36). You can encounter verbal abuse with parents, teachers, friends, bullies, siblings, boyfriends/girlfriends, yourself and others. Anybody can be a potential abuser.
If you are still unsure if you’re being verbally abused here are some more ways that might go unnoticed: defining the truth, this is when they say that they know the truth and you don’t know anything; putting you down, this will lead you to doubt yourself later on in life; putting you up, will make you think that you are only good for certain things. They will also categorize you or characterize you. Categorizing is when they say that you are like everyone else (i.e. all women are the same.) and characterizing is when they compare you to someone, usually your mother or father.
Sexual abuse is when you are looked at or touched in any way that makes you feel uncomfortable. There are ways in identifying possible sexual offenders. They have no close friends and low self-esteem. Teenage sexual offenders have other qualities. Most of them are boys, they, also, have no close friends, they’re unable to relate to girls their age, sex is there tension/stress reliever and they don’t have a close relationship with their father (Rossi 12). Your child will start acting weird if they are being sexually abused. They will have trouble eating and sleeping, show a sudden fear towards someone and have unexpected sexual knowledge that they might be too young to know about otherwise (Rossi 13). Sexual play among children is normal and healthy behavior. If they are five or more years apart and/or are being teased for not joining, however, it is abuse. If you suspect your child is being abused go to a private place and talk to them about it. Never doubt your child and reassure them continuously. Call Child Protective Services or the police and explain the problem. Offer your child love and support and protect their privacy. Get support for yourself and always remember: it is not you or your child’s fault; it is the offenders fault (Rossi 14-16).
Physical abuse is when you are hit, slapped, pushed, punched, or put in an environment with extreme danger. If your son or daughter is being physically abused their most private parts may start to bother them.
There are different ways to keep your kids safe from the offenders. One way is to give your children a “family password” so if someone they don’t know is picking them up they can ask what the “password” is to make sure that the person is safe to go with. If your child is being abused make sure to call authorities as soon as possible and make sure you give them your name, location, tell them that you are being attacked or abused and are afraid for your life and where the abuser is in relation to where you are and if they are armed or not (http://www.justice.gov.yk.ca/prog/cor/vs/whattodo.html#rcmp).
If you or your child is being abused, in any way, there are measures that you can take to assure that it will be less traumatizing in the future. You can take yourself and your child to see a psychiatrist that specializes in these matters. There are also group meetings that you can attend with other people that have been abused (i.e. Alcoholics Anonymous). These things will help in the long run, but if you must move away. Do everything you can to protect you and your family.
Abuse will always be either intentional or unintentional but don’t stand for it! Even if you think you deserve it you don’t. Don’t be afraid to tell someone that you are being abused or molested. The best thing you can do is tell someone that you are in trouble and need help. Abuse is like rum, cigarettes, beer, weed, etc: it turns even the most respectable man (or woman) into complete troublemakers, if you will, and it is a vile “drink” (http://www.hostultra.com/~vampfiles/piratesscript2.html scene 19: marooned again).
My word count is 1178.....close enough.