Fallen Soul
"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." - Sydney Smith
No…
Draco's eyes widened in shock as he watched the body across from him fall to the ground.
Time came to a halt as his trembling hand suddenly let go of the wand in its grip, crashing at his feet in a muffled thud that echoed in his mind even amidst the raging battle around.
Petrified, he stood in the middle of the chaos, pale as a ghost, unable to tear his eyes off the man lying on the floor of the Great Hall. He wasn't getting up. Why wasn't he getting up?
Not only was he not getting up, he wasn't even breathing anymore. The stillness of death had embraced him even before his corpse had hit the cold marble.
Remus Lupin was dead. And he, Draco Malfoy, had killed him.
"No…" Barely a murmur, a strangled sound that even he couldn't recognize as his own.
The abrupt realization made his legs gave in beneath him and he collapsed. His frail frame shook violently but no tear ever streamed down his ashen visage. He couldn't move, despite the alarm in the back of his head which was screaming at him to stand up again and run away from this as fast as he could. It was a simple string of movement he'd known since he'd been able to walk; Stand on his feet, turn around toward the open door, and rush out of the battlefield without ever looking back.
But he couldn't. He was frozen to the core by what he had done.
He had killed a man.
"NO! " The yell didn't seem to draw anyone's attention. Bodies were falling left and right around him but the one belonging to his former teacher was the only one he could see. Rising wobbly to his feet, he managed to get up and walk the few feet without being hit by the multicolored curses flying above his head. He didn't care if he was hexed; he didn't care if he was killed. His sole purpose was to reach the man he had deprived of his very soul.
Draco's body crumbled to the floor in front of the remains of Remus Lupin. The werewolf's eyes were openly staring at the Slytherin, his features were twisted in a horrible mask of fear and surprise. The last emotions Malfoy had glimpsed in his now blank stare, right before the killing curse had hit him in the chest. The very same expression he knew he too had upon the understanding of what he had done.
He had killed a man.
Tears finally came pouring out of his closed eyes, reviewing to exact moment, reviving it, feeling his own soul shattering as Remus' left his body.
He didn't mean to kill him! He didn't mean to! He was aiming for a Death Eater who was coming to get him, he had this wand in his hand that he didn't even remember to whom it really belonged. He wasn't thinking, he was terrified and his legs just wouldn't respond to his pleadings for a quick flight. Then the man had directed his wand toward him with a sick smile on his horrible face and Draco had just fired away…killing the wrong person.
The Death Eater had been hit by an Expelliarmus and was sent crashing into a wall several feet away, just a second before the death curse came soaring out of Malfoy's wand to fall on the man who had been standing behind him, fighting his likes bravely.
Remus Lupin.
It was an accident; he hadn't meant to… he hadn't…
"I'm sorry…" He cried, his head resting on the rigid chest of the dead man, clenching to it with his fists in utter desperation, his whole body shaking with grief and regret. "I'm so sorry…" he whispered through his untamable tears, "I'm sorry…"