-_-
so I haven't written a journal in a while.
usually that means there is a new boy and I don't want to sound all ga ga and shit like always.
this time on the other hand is different.
I am happy, but my feet are on the ground...which is kind of a first.
I mean the kid is amazing, he is actually a decent guy...for once, and a lot has to do with the fact he is closet.
He has a major flaw of living 2 hours and 1 minute away but we talk at least 2 hours a day which seems to refresh me. He has inspired me to do so much that I didn't believe in myself to do.
for that I am eternally grateful.
i worried a bit because he has pretty much gone completely ga ga over me and usually when that happens I freak and run. Hence every relationship break up I have had in the past year. who would have thought that actually being liked without having to work for it, freaks me out?
This time I didn't run. I see now that more of the in the moment living rather then the "He loves me, but do I see a future with him?" thinking can sometimes be good.
I am having more breathing time while finishing my homework. I didn't think that was possible.
I still have this late night staying up problem that I need to fix.
I showered. did some exercising. ate healthy. laid out clothes for tomorrow. suprisingly I have been on task.
my councelor who said she was going to send out my letter of rec and transcripts failed to do so and now all my apps are a little behind which means I can't do the U of M auditon until Feburary which kind of sucks.
I am praying that I get accepted to EMU asap though so I can have a safety net school if I don't get into U of M.
Home life is getting a little tough as of lately seeing as I am struggling to balance my teacher's requests, my employer's request, and my director's requests with that of my parent's.
I need to get my license. still haven't done that. I am calling to plan for next weekend tomorrow.
list of goals for tomorrow and Tuesday:
read Ch 9 AP US History
finish essays for apps and mail them out
get transcripts and teacher recs
read something theatrically enlightening (it's been a while)
work on ITS and Chicago trip plans
clean my room
2 loads of laundry
let's hope that I don't flake out and end up lying around all day or talking to people online for hours.
I'll only talk to the boy online tomorrow and tuesday.
end of story.
night kiddies.
usually that means there is a new boy and I don't want to sound all ga ga and shit like always.
this time on the other hand is different.
I am happy, but my feet are on the ground...which is kind of a first.
I mean the kid is amazing, he is actually a decent guy...for once, and a lot has to do with the fact he is closet.
He has a major flaw of living 2 hours and 1 minute away but we talk at least 2 hours a day which seems to refresh me. He has inspired me to do so much that I didn't believe in myself to do.
for that I am eternally grateful.
i worried a bit because he has pretty much gone completely ga ga over me and usually when that happens I freak and run. Hence every relationship break up I have had in the past year. who would have thought that actually being liked without having to work for it, freaks me out?
This time I didn't run. I see now that more of the in the moment living rather then the "He loves me, but do I see a future with him?" thinking can sometimes be good.
I am having more breathing time while finishing my homework. I didn't think that was possible.
I still have this late night staying up problem that I need to fix.
I showered. did some exercising. ate healthy. laid out clothes for tomorrow. suprisingly I have been on task.
my councelor who said she was going to send out my letter of rec and transcripts failed to do so and now all my apps are a little behind which means I can't do the U of M auditon until Feburary which kind of sucks.
I am praying that I get accepted to EMU asap though so I can have a safety net school if I don't get into U of M.
Home life is getting a little tough as of lately seeing as I am struggling to balance my teacher's requests, my employer's request, and my director's requests with that of my parent's.
I need to get my license. still haven't done that. I am calling to plan for next weekend tomorrow.
list of goals for tomorrow and Tuesday:
read Ch 9 AP US History
finish essays for apps and mail them out
get transcripts and teacher recs
read something theatrically enlightening (it's been a while)
work on ITS and Chicago trip plans
clean my room
2 loads of laundry
let's hope that I don't flake out and end up lying around all day or talking to people online for hours.
I'll only talk to the boy online tomorrow and tuesday.
end of story.
night kiddies.