Press eject now.
Friend: "Tara, you're such a pessimist."
Tara: "No I'm not, I just can't avoid noticing how much I end up getting screwed by almost everyone and everything in my life. I think I was born under a bad sign or something. It's becoming unavoidable, me always getting the short end of the stick. Though I have actually resolved alot of my pessimistic attitudes by just accepting that I have some of the worst luck in the universe."
Friend: "And how's that not being a pessimist?"
Tara: "The trick is in the acceptance. The absolute, undaunting acceptance. I lovingly refer to it as The Fuck It Theory. It seems to work for me when I am about to unravel at the seams. Which is almost every damn day. I don't think that's very pessimistic. In fact, I think there's even a little bit of optimism in that theory...somewhere."
Friend: "Huh."
Tara: "Seriously."
Friend: "So how were your holidays?"
Tara: "Fucking miserable. They represented a whole year of wasted time, disasterous relationships and pointless endeavors. I really feel like that main character in Office Space when he was at the hypno-therapist and he was like,
"Every day is worse than the day before. So when you see me, that is on the worst day of my life."
...and then the hypno-therapist is like,
"So this has been the worst day of your life?"
...and he's like, "Yeah."
Then the hypno-therapist says,
"Wow. That's messed up."
Friend: "Hahaha...I love that movie."
Tara: "Yeah, me too."
Tara: "No I'm not, I just can't avoid noticing how much I end up getting screwed by almost everyone and everything in my life. I think I was born under a bad sign or something. It's becoming unavoidable, me always getting the short end of the stick. Though I have actually resolved alot of my pessimistic attitudes by just accepting that I have some of the worst luck in the universe."
Friend: "And how's that not being a pessimist?"
Tara: "The trick is in the acceptance. The absolute, undaunting acceptance. I lovingly refer to it as The Fuck It Theory. It seems to work for me when I am about to unravel at the seams. Which is almost every damn day. I don't think that's very pessimistic. In fact, I think there's even a little bit of optimism in that theory...somewhere."
Friend: "Huh."
Tara: "Seriously."
Friend: "So how were your holidays?"
Tara: "Fucking miserable. They represented a whole year of wasted time, disasterous relationships and pointless endeavors. I really feel like that main character in Office Space when he was at the hypno-therapist and he was like,
"Every day is worse than the day before. So when you see me, that is on the worst day of my life."
...and then the hypno-therapist is like,
"So this has been the worst day of your life?"
...and he's like, "Yeah."
Then the hypno-therapist says,
"Wow. That's messed up."
Friend: "Hahaha...I love that movie."
Tara: "Yeah, me too."