(no subject)
Today is not a good day for me.
But then again, I am being very shortsighted and I should be counting my blessings.
I'm just feeling a temporary low. I was trying to prevent myself from feeling this way, as I knew it could happen. I've been optimistic about virtually everything for the last few weeks. I'm trying to re-program my brain to see the cup half-full instead of half-empty. And I've been trying to hold faith in myself when in the past I've always been a little insecure. So this is why the low is temporary. It's just a minor glitch, a small set back that I will be able to forget in a few weeks.
The reason for my temporary low is that I didn't get the Ginch Gonch job. Not that it's a big deal, I guess. It's just tough. I spent about twenty hours preparing for that interview. And I rocked the interview! When I left the interview I felt that he was going to give me the job right there.. but for some reason I didn't get it.
Yes, I wanted that job. But I think the real reason why I wanted that job is because I felt as if I could be successful at it. I fully believe in fate... and I believe that God has a greater plan set out for all of us. And I thought that finally this greater plan was working out for me. Yet I never seem to achieve that greater plan.. I'm still and always searching. And honestly, I'm getting really tired of looking to the point where I want to give up. But giving up couldn't be apart of this greater plan for me, could it?
I'm so confused. I've had chocolate for breakfast and lunch. The girls who read this journal will know what this means.. I just need a little comfort, a little time to feel low, and then I'll be fine.
So let me change the subject and discuss why I should be counting my blessings. Maybe typing all this down will help me walk away from the computer with a better outlook on myself.
Today is my six year anniversary with Joel. It's been a very hard six years, but I'm happy. There have been times when I have felt like I should leave Joel, but then there are the times when everything is wonderful, and it's those wonderful times that I remember when looking back at our time together. I am very fortunate to have Joel in my life, I love him dearly. And I shall consider him a blessing to me, and consider him one of the many reasons why I should be happy right now, and not wallowing in doubt and drowning my sorrows with chocolate. I am very blessed and for this I should be happy. And confident, and successful, and ready to take on the world!
But then again, I am being very shortsighted and I should be counting my blessings.
I'm just feeling a temporary low. I was trying to prevent myself from feeling this way, as I knew it could happen. I've been optimistic about virtually everything for the last few weeks. I'm trying to re-program my brain to see the cup half-full instead of half-empty. And I've been trying to hold faith in myself when in the past I've always been a little insecure. So this is why the low is temporary. It's just a minor glitch, a small set back that I will be able to forget in a few weeks.
The reason for my temporary low is that I didn't get the Ginch Gonch job. Not that it's a big deal, I guess. It's just tough. I spent about twenty hours preparing for that interview. And I rocked the interview! When I left the interview I felt that he was going to give me the job right there.. but for some reason I didn't get it.
Yes, I wanted that job. But I think the real reason why I wanted that job is because I felt as if I could be successful at it. I fully believe in fate... and I believe that God has a greater plan set out for all of us. And I thought that finally this greater plan was working out for me. Yet I never seem to achieve that greater plan.. I'm still and always searching. And honestly, I'm getting really tired of looking to the point where I want to give up. But giving up couldn't be apart of this greater plan for me, could it?
I'm so confused. I've had chocolate for breakfast and lunch. The girls who read this journal will know what this means.. I just need a little comfort, a little time to feel low, and then I'll be fine.
So let me change the subject and discuss why I should be counting my blessings. Maybe typing all this down will help me walk away from the computer with a better outlook on myself.
Today is my six year anniversary with Joel. It's been a very hard six years, but I'm happy. There have been times when I have felt like I should leave Joel, but then there are the times when everything is wonderful, and it's those wonderful times that I remember when looking back at our time together. I am very fortunate to have Joel in my life, I love him dearly. And I shall consider him a blessing to me, and consider him one of the many reasons why I should be happy right now, and not wallowing in doubt and drowning my sorrows with chocolate. I am very blessed and for this I should be happy. And confident, and successful, and ready to take on the world!