look at the fruit in that basket

[abstractrenard]

Sometimes I wonder about people from my past.  I feel like my life has very definitive chapters, and there is very little crossover of characters.  Once a chapter is completed, the presence of people that played roles therein rarely continues.  It isn't an intentional occurance, it's just a natural withering that happens when you no longer regularly spend time with someone.  This has left me missing people as they vacate my life through whatever circumstances, usually my frequent relocation.  My subconcious mind holds on to these losses and reminds me, every so often, through elaborate, highly convoluted dreams.  Whenever I have one of these dreams, it serves to remind me of the liquidity that my life has had over the past several years and makes me feel like a transient in my own life.  It worries me that, no matter how hard I may try to hold on, everything that comes into my life will always be fleeting.  On the positive side, this has really made me appreciate everything that I have in the now.  And so, spurred by a dream that I had last night that included a close friend from my Ren Faire days (7 years ago, which is mind blowing), I wanted to take a moment to appreciate things from my past and present.

I appreciate that my life has finally taken on some form of stability.  I appreciate that I was lucky enough to meet Tarek.  I appreciate that he has a job in this economy.  I appreciate that my friends and family are relatively healthy, with limited exceptions.  I appreciate that I finally have the opportunity to go back to school.

Lastly, I appreciate that I didn't fuck up my life more at 16 than I did.  Everything happens for a reason!

And I still miss those friends that are no longer active parts of my life.  I hope that they are all doing well.  I'm sending you all best wishes.