Advice

[gwyd]

How do I get an ISFP to finish a project? Or at least start working on it again? I've tried asking nicely, not so nicely, and insistantly. Logic and common sense are useless (Tried them anyway). I've tried putting all the materials next to the project and asking in various ways. I've tried asking him to teach me how to do the project myself.

Comments

[saeble]

easy

Method One

"I miss seeing you use those skills. This project would really show off how good you are. It's a shame, because I really wants to show our friends and family how shit hot you are."

Method Two, if One doesnt work

" Hah, I know why you wont finish 'X', because you cant, you're scared of it. You're just pretending that its 'boring' or 'beneath you' because you dont have the skill to finish it properly. "

If you want an SP to do anything, you either praise the shite out of them and give them a chance to show off, or you call them weak or feeble and unable to rise to a challenge.

:)

My ex girlfriend, whom I still burn a candle for would always respond to such an approach, but be careful, if they realise they are being baited/coaxed/manipulated they will tend to turn around and bite you.

[gwyd]

This sounds highly antagonistic; I'm not sure it would suit.

[saeble]

suit you ?

or suit the person in question ?

a little conflict is often good, without it life can get very boring... which is something an SP abhors.

[gwyd]

This does not seem a healthy way to deal with a partner in relationship.

[saeble]

oh dear... :)

I think we may have stumbled on a root cause here...

Sometimes its time to use the 'big stick' and stop speaking softly.

Otherwise, you'll end up with ulcers and he'll end up on his own..:)

Conflict can be healthy. Conflict means there is a difference of perspective, opinion or position which needs to be addressed and someone has piped up and made it clear that it exists. It means there is a chance for resolution.

If someone decides to just be the rug and have issues swept under them...

...thats a recipe for a much larger disaster later.

[gwyd]

I am no one's image of a rug. I'm pretty damned assertive generally, and I get people to do what I want all the time at work. None of these things seem to work anymore with him. He was always bad at finishing projects, but he's gotten a lot worse the last few years.

[saeble]

ok... well obviously there is some 'rot' in there somewhere which needs to be dug out and fixed up

you are of course fighting a bit of an uphill battle with any 'P', trying to get projects finished. That's a J thing... :)

Perhaps you should take the proverbial bull by the horns and start fixing it yourself. Then perhaps it will stir his Artisan nature to show you how its done. I'd make him diplomatically, but acutely aware that you're doing it and he may just come around and finish it if he sees you struggling with it.

If nothing else you may end up with a machine that works, built with your own two hands.

[gwyd]

The problem is I know nothing about building/fixing a computer with serious hardware problems. At this point, I'm going to threaten to have one of my other friends do it when I go South for the Holidays. This way, hopefully he will be spirred to fix it, and if he doesn't my box should be working in January anyway.