Worth Nothing!!!
Ok. So, lately I've had all these great ideas on what I want to do and what should be done. But of course, my mentality has changed quiet a bit. I have made an attempt to go on two trips next year. But now, I only want to go on one. Why? I'll tell you why. The first trip I wanted to go on was to visit a friend. But now, I dont want to go anymore. For those of you who know what I am talking abut, I no longer want to take that trip. I was very excited about it at one time. But now, my negative mentality has taken over. I feel that I am not worth the trouble of taking a trip like that. Have you ever felt that you dont deserve anyone or anything? Well, that has been my mentality for a long time now. And for a brief second, that changed. For some reason, I thought that I was worthy of love and happiness and all that shit. Well, reality has taken tole on me. I have seen the realness of life. That I am not worthy of those things that I so willingly wanted. So, my question now, is whats next... What will this wonderful life of mine bring? How many more disappointments do I have to go through before I take the plunge? Hmmm. I wonder. I am not suicidal at the moment for I have many things that I must do before I go. But my mentality at the moment is bringing me down. Down faster then ever. Why?? I have no idea. so...
The question of the night is..... What do I do now?
The question of the night is..... What do I do now?