(no subject)
I want to be single. I am always in love, always committed to somebody, and I like those brief moments in between when I'm accountable to nobody but myself. Those are the moments when the ideas come, the tingling sense of possibility, the curiosity about new things. Those are the moments when I write.
I feel really stuck right now. I love Wes. I love him more than I thought I could love anyone. We're best friends, we have so much fun together, and so much sweet and tender moments and good sex together. He is there for me so unwaveringly, wants to uproot and follow me wherever I go. But how can I determine where to go if I know I am being followed? By virtue of having a companion, my route will surely change.
I'm only 23 years old. And I feel like everything is set in stone. We're in love, and we don't want anyone else, and so the natural course is -- marriage? Children? Christ, we've already named them. We have already designed our rings.
I would never forgive myself if I hurt Wes. I don't even think I'd want anyone else. Just myself. What is it in women that makes us feel like we lose so much of ourselves when we love?
I feel really stuck right now. I love Wes. I love him more than I thought I could love anyone. We're best friends, we have so much fun together, and so much sweet and tender moments and good sex together. He is there for me so unwaveringly, wants to uproot and follow me wherever I go. But how can I determine where to go if I know I am being followed? By virtue of having a companion, my route will surely change.
I'm only 23 years old. And I feel like everything is set in stone. We're in love, and we don't want anyone else, and so the natural course is -- marriage? Children? Christ, we've already named them. We have already designed our rings.
I would never forgive myself if I hurt Wes. I don't even think I'd want anyone else. Just myself. What is it in women that makes us feel like we lose so much of ourselves when we love?