Two divided by zero.
Another day, another sleepless night, another morning delving into an afternoon spent with a mother hounding after me to fold clothes and clean, a hunched brother with wide eyes and too much time on his hands, and a ticking time bomb that can only barely be called a man.
What am I going to do with my life?
I really should get a job, or something. Denia’s an apprentice to some artist downtown. Kaitlin’s going to SCAD for one whole week in July. And meanwhile, what am I doing? I’m up at 3 o’clock in the morning, listening to obscure folk rock bands and typing blog entries that nobody reads.
God, I really do live a whole lot of life, don’t I?
Ah, but that is the fate of the artist, I suppose. To toil in obscurity forever and ever. Heh. That joke never seems to get old to me. But that makes me feel bad, too. Aside from those crappy life drawings I did a few days ago, I haven’t drawn anything worth while at all. I feel like such a failure sometimes, but then I have to remind myself that I’m young.
And then colleges. Oh God, colleges. I have no idea what I’m going to do. They’ve already started calling my house and they’ve been sending me emails. I look around me and I feel like all my friends and everyone I know is so much more proactive than I am. Kaitlin’s all over the place calling about internships and whatnot. My mother keeps pressuring me to get a job, but what could the world possibly offer someone like me, at this point in my life? Cleaning the toilets out at McDonald’s? Yes, everyone keeps telling me that I shouldn’t care what it is that I’m doing, only the fact that I’m making money. Well, what about dignity? Or is that something people my age aren’t permitted?
And, once again, this weather. God, I really wish the sun would come out. I’ve been dying to use my pool. But you’ve already heard that schpeal, haven’t you? Hehe.
This summer is looking so bleak already. Despite all the bullshit I have to go through in school, in a way, I’m looking forward to it more than ever. It was something to do with myself, I suppose. I also feel I didn’t work up to what I can do this year.
And I miss my friends, I really do. Everyone’s just so busy lately, and I feel like no one has the time for me because they’re all to busy living their lives. Everyone’s off improving themselves somehow, whether it’s Kaitlin with SCAD or Denia with her apprenticeship or Eddy with his excersie regimen or the seniors graduating. Meanwhile, I’m sitting here bitching about how I’m not doing anything in particular.
All right, that’s it. No more of this foolishness. I’m going to do something with myself…
…though I don’t know what it is yet.
BUT IT’S GONNA BE SOMETHING COOL. MAYBE. I HOPE.
Keep on truckin,’ everyone! I’m off to achieve!
Hopefully maybe!
What am I going to do with my life?
I really should get a job, or something. Denia’s an apprentice to some artist downtown. Kaitlin’s going to SCAD for one whole week in July. And meanwhile, what am I doing? I’m up at 3 o’clock in the morning, listening to obscure folk rock bands and typing blog entries that nobody reads.
God, I really do live a whole lot of life, don’t I?
Ah, but that is the fate of the artist, I suppose. To toil in obscurity forever and ever. Heh. That joke never seems to get old to me. But that makes me feel bad, too. Aside from those crappy life drawings I did a few days ago, I haven’t drawn anything worth while at all. I feel like such a failure sometimes, but then I have to remind myself that I’m young.
And then colleges. Oh God, colleges. I have no idea what I’m going to do. They’ve already started calling my house and they’ve been sending me emails. I look around me and I feel like all my friends and everyone I know is so much more proactive than I am. Kaitlin’s all over the place calling about internships and whatnot. My mother keeps pressuring me to get a job, but what could the world possibly offer someone like me, at this point in my life? Cleaning the toilets out at McDonald’s? Yes, everyone keeps telling me that I shouldn’t care what it is that I’m doing, only the fact that I’m making money. Well, what about dignity? Or is that something people my age aren’t permitted?
And, once again, this weather. God, I really wish the sun would come out. I’ve been dying to use my pool. But you’ve already heard that schpeal, haven’t you? Hehe.
This summer is looking so bleak already. Despite all the bullshit I have to go through in school, in a way, I’m looking forward to it more than ever. It was something to do with myself, I suppose. I also feel I didn’t work up to what I can do this year.
And I miss my friends, I really do. Everyone’s just so busy lately, and I feel like no one has the time for me because they’re all to busy living their lives. Everyone’s off improving themselves somehow, whether it’s Kaitlin with SCAD or Denia with her apprenticeship or Eddy with his excersie regimen or the seniors graduating. Meanwhile, I’m sitting here bitching about how I’m not doing anything in particular.
All right, that’s it. No more of this foolishness. I’m going to do something with myself…
…though I don’t know what it is yet.
BUT IT’S GONNA BE SOMETHING COOL. MAYBE. I HOPE.
Keep on truckin,’ everyone! I’m off to achieve!
Hopefully maybe!