(no subject)
I always seem to end up in the same place...
I've always dated... had boyfriends... been happy... and then ripped their hearts out and pranced away to find my next victim. Not to sound like a complete Ice Queen, I definitely never go into relationship with the intention to make boys cry. I think most of the boys I've been with will all would agree that I was pretty damn awesome for the majority of the relationship.
As I get older, I'm learning something different. Maybe its Karma, maybe its just my womanly instincts kicking in, who the fuck knows. What I do know is that I'm sick of crying and I feel like that's all I have done for the past 3 years. Every man I meet seems to be either the man of my dreams (which he doesn't see, of course) or the man I want to chain to the Great Wall in China so they are as far away as possible (and of course these are the ones that want to show me the world... after knowing me for all of 3 days).
My current "man of my dreams", which of course cant be the man of my dreams because I find myself crying... yet again, had knee surgery. I have been there to help him hand and foot because he really doesn't have his own. The healing process is quite fast and I immediately asked if I was over staying my welcome at his place, the answer was no but a quick explanation about privacy came to follow. No problem, I've been working over 40 hours at my painfully... painful job and I never come over without calling, and without bringing dinner. Well Michelle, dreams don't last forever. Guess who is walking and immediately a fucking prick about the girl sleeping in on his bed.
I do understand that guys and girls have different ideas about things... Women are programmed to nurture, mother, and ultimately reproduce. Guys on the other hand, I have no clue how they're wired but I think we all agree, its completely different. What I don't understand is that if its is our role, as man and woman, to find a lover and reproduce... why the fuck did whoever make it so damn hard to get along with one another? I'm in my mid 20's and by no way shape or form am I ready and wanting to get married, settle down and pop out little demon babies. What I do want is someone that I can hang with, sees eye to eye with me, laughs and we don't step on each others toes. I'm sadly coming to conclude that this just isn't in the plans for me.
I have no problem meeting super cool guys. Every one of them swoops me up, wines and dines, romances and throws it back in my face with the "sorry, I can't have a girlfriend"... WHAT THE FUCK!? THEN WHY DID YOU TAKE ME OUT. But after hearing this, twice, and when I finally back away... they all come running back, I know what the deal is... I'm just not the girlfriend for them, and like the one before, they will find her and date her and make her their girlfriend as soon as possible, god knows you don't want the good ones to get away.
I've always dated... had boyfriends... been happy... and then ripped their hearts out and pranced away to find my next victim. Not to sound like a complete Ice Queen, I definitely never go into relationship with the intention to make boys cry. I think most of the boys I've been with will all would agree that I was pretty damn awesome for the majority of the relationship.
As I get older, I'm learning something different. Maybe its Karma, maybe its just my womanly instincts kicking in, who the fuck knows. What I do know is that I'm sick of crying and I feel like that's all I have done for the past 3 years. Every man I meet seems to be either the man of my dreams (which he doesn't see, of course) or the man I want to chain to the Great Wall in China so they are as far away as possible (and of course these are the ones that want to show me the world... after knowing me for all of 3 days).
My current "man of my dreams", which of course cant be the man of my dreams because I find myself crying... yet again, had knee surgery. I have been there to help him hand and foot because he really doesn't have his own. The healing process is quite fast and I immediately asked if I was over staying my welcome at his place, the answer was no but a quick explanation about privacy came to follow. No problem, I've been working over 40 hours at my painfully... painful job and I never come over without calling, and without bringing dinner. Well Michelle, dreams don't last forever. Guess who is walking and immediately a fucking prick about the girl sleeping in on his bed.
I do understand that guys and girls have different ideas about things... Women are programmed to nurture, mother, and ultimately reproduce. Guys on the other hand, I have no clue how they're wired but I think we all agree, its completely different. What I don't understand is that if its is our role, as man and woman, to find a lover and reproduce... why the fuck did whoever make it so damn hard to get along with one another? I'm in my mid 20's and by no way shape or form am I ready and wanting to get married, settle down and pop out little demon babies. What I do want is someone that I can hang with, sees eye to eye with me, laughs and we don't step on each others toes. I'm sadly coming to conclude that this just isn't in the plans for me.
I have no problem meeting super cool guys. Every one of them swoops me up, wines and dines, romances and throws it back in my face with the "sorry, I can't have a girlfriend"... WHAT THE FUCK!? THEN WHY DID YOU TAKE ME OUT. But after hearing this, twice, and when I finally back away... they all come running back, I know what the deal is... I'm just not the girlfriend for them, and like the one before, they will find her and date her and make her their girlfriend as soon as possible, god knows you don't want the good ones to get away.