[incomplete]

[instrumented]

Who: Zero (instrumented) & Caim (undeify)
What: Zero needs his dru- I mean- Caim is the only one here that Zero can trust with some things.
Where: Fountain, to start with.
When: Backdated to day or two after Zero returns to Nuadoria

Comments

[instrumented]

Despite the time he had already spent within the city, Zero only vaguely recalled the archives. He'd looked into it maybe once or twice for information, but the search proved useless, not to mention the atmosphere at the time had been too much for Zero to put up with for too long. While he probably could have led the way back to his apartment, the conversation Zero had in mind wasn't going to be long. Well, at least he hoped it wouldn't. He should be fine with the archives.

A good duration of the walk there was done so in silence, Zero's thoughts too preoccupied with what he wanted to say and how he should say them. There had never been a real need for Zero to explain anything before; Chairman Cross already knew, as did Yagari, and Yuuki was aware of enough that even if she did want to question him, Zero would have likely told her that it wasn't something that he wanted to share.

...Which was much like the present situation, yet completely different. Zero wasn't going to speak with Cross, or even Yagari, who knew all about his situation as well as what he had gone through. He had no idea how much Caim knew about vampires, although even whatever facts he did know, given the variety of different worlds everyone came from, the information wouldn't be the same as the ones Zero dealt with. Whatever Caim knew, Zero would likely need to start the explanation off at a relatively basic level.

If anything, Zero knew he needed to accept that he would have to trust Caim, as much as he felt it would violate his usual comfort zone. There was absolutely no other way for Zero to get the assistance he required, and he knew that. He couldn't change things. Still, reluctance kept Zero on edge, even though he knew he'd be grateful in the end.

I'M SORRY I TOOK FOREVER *sobs on*

[undeify]

There was something unusually familiar about this, a walk with someone in silence, that held an almost comforting sense of tension to it. Ironic to think tension over impending conversation would be in any way comforting, but, at this point Caim was willing to take any type of comfort he could get. He'd cherished walks like these with people he cared about-and people he once cared about, too-but those opportunities were long gone. There had even been a few kind walks with the Fire Magister once upon a time, but those had been even rarer than the walks themselves. Dai never did know how to keep quiet.

Maybe that was why Zero's company was particularly appreciated (anything to forget Dai, anything to keep him from letting his mind remind him of his mistakes), even if the Magister never made so much as a hint to suggest so. Silence was comforting, sometimes, but silence alone often allowed the mind to wander-and it always wandered far too much and much too negatively in his case. The air was thick and silent, dead without a wind but somehow that silence was deafening and hallucinatory the closer they got to the archives. It was easier to ignore them this time, however, and Caim didn't question why (the only assumption was the company) as they made their way up the steps and through the grand doors of the archives.

His boots echoed in the main atrium, reminding Caim just how empty this place was. If he was pleased that the foreigners tended to stay away from this place or was disappointed at their lack of ambition, he didn't know. But it did at least allow him a small sanctuary that was still close enough to Ava, Erielle, and Fallon so that he didn't feel as much worry when being apart from them.

The atrium was just as good a place as any to have this conversation, but the dark haired man decided against it, leading Zero into one of the many rooms with shelves stacked full of books. Short conversation or not, the least he could do was not act like Zero needed to make it short. He could spare the extra effort to find them a table to sit at.

"I think you're safe saying whatever you like here," he said finally, head lowered as he pulled out the chair to take a seat. He noticed Lily jump up on the table a few seconds later, followed by Dalamar peeking over the tabletop after her, curiously. The big cat made a glance to Caim-and Caim made sure to glare back in warning (Don't you even)-before Dalamar looked up at Zero pathetically and took a seat on the floor right where he was. The Magister sighed, unable to hide his exasperation with the animal-at least Dai hadn't spoiled Dalamar so much that he tried to jump on the table after Lily, anyway (although, he did briefly wonder how hard Dalamar was still thinking about it).

When it was clear Dalamar was going to stay put for the time being, Caim shifted in his seat and looked to Zero expectantly. Conversation starters weren't his forte (although ending them? no problem), but he'd deal. It wasn't like he was approaching Zero unsolicited. "I'm not good at this," he admitted, anyway, and almost guiltily considering the other had asked to speak with him, "but whenever you're ready." Despite the confession, his tone suggested no desire for Zero to be deterred from speaking. Caim wasn't sure what subject to expect to fall from the other's mouth, but he did know that whatever it was he'd listen. And he'd listen well.

[instrumented]

It'd taken a decent bit of extra willpower, as it had the few times before, for Zero to bear with the heavy atmosphere of the particular area. Even as they walked, there'd been a clenched fist at Zero's side, his jaw tight. Lily was on edge as well; even when she jumped up to sit on the table, her tail flickered back and forth.

Unlike Caim, Zero, remained standing, still too on edge. He leaned against the wall by the door, next to one of the shelving units, and briefly glanced around the small room, almost curious to what information (if any at all) the books contained. Said curiosity, however, was likely no more than a way to contemplate the impending conversation for even a second longer.

Zero nodded at the comment. Caim wasn't the only one who wasn't very good at all of this.

At the start, when Zero began to speak, it was similar to how he would deliver a report to the Association. No bullshit. There wasn't any need to sugarcoat the facts in this case. As much or as little as Caim knew, however, and as reluctant as he felt, Zero opted for a rundown of the basic facts, as well as the beginning. He briefly spoke of his background; how he was born into a family of vampire hunters and raised & trained to follow suit, that it was the profession he currently held. Zero brought up how, at age thirteen, his family had been attacked by a pureblood vampire, how after she bit him, she killed his parents. He didn't give much detail when stating how Ichiru, his twin brother, left alongside the vampire.

A short pause. It was old news, but a part of Zero still needed to keep his emotions in check. "The vampires in my world are divided into classes, similar to how the human world is. They are measured with a pyramid scale, ranging from level A down to level D- or, from ex-human vampires, then the normal class, and nobles. Those at the very top, the Level A's, are known as purebloods. They're the most powerful vampires within the society, both feared and admired by the lower levels; presently, there are only a handful of them." There was a vile taste at the back of Zero's throat even when he spoke about them. As skilled as he normally was when it came to control, it took more effort than usual - which he would simply blame on Nuadoria itself - for Zero to keep his cynicism and hatred from seeping into the lecture. Even so, the hand Zero had at his side tightened into a fist. His fingernails scraped against the frame of the door, aged wood splintering beneath the tense pressure.

He continued to explain to Caim that the purebloods were the only type whose bite alone would turn an individual into a vampire. There were only two possible outcomes when such a thing happened: either the human would die from the toxicity of the blood, or they would proceed to go through a slow, agonizing transition into an ex-human vampire. Most humans who were bitten by a pureblood didn't survive.

"...Unless the victim is fed the blood of the one who bit them, the ex-human will inevitably descend to what is known as a Level E vampire. On the pyramid, they are below the scale itself; the "end" level. Level Es are the vampires who have lost their humanity; they lack sanity, are blinded by bloodlust, and will attack indiscriminately. In reality, Level Es should not exist."

Zero went quiet again for a few moments. His hand on the door frame fell back to his side.

As brief as he made it, telling Caim about who Yuuki was and how she had willingly let him feed from her, at first, sent a pang of both bittersweet nostalgia & irritation through Zero. A gist of who both Shizuka and Kaname were, and how he came to receive both of their blood through the latter, made Zero's fist ball up again.

Zero continued to speak about Ichiru, the way they had met up again, and even touching upon the facts surrounding vampire hunters & bearing twins. A year had passed since that moment. With as much truth as Zero had already divulged, Caim didn't need to hear the details about what had transpired between Zero and his twin.

...I was right. lmfao

[instrumented]

The topic then shifted to the blood tablets. It was part of the main reason why he wanted to speak with Caim in the first place.

There was less of an explanation this time. Zero still remembered the information he'd given Caim when he first asked about whether or not the tablets could be replicated. If Caim could recall as well, he'd know that the tablets assisted to control Zero's blood cravings, as well as stand in place of a meal. Giving Caim such a description seemed to have worked well enough the first time for Zero, despite how the resulting pills still weren't up to par with the ones he'd receive back at home. He knew they had been better than the alternative.

With the way he had begun to down the tablets during his year back, however, whatever Caim had done to replicate them wasn't going to work this time.

"I'll need more, a- " Zero stalled. His hand that had been against the door frame dropped to his side once more, as if weighted. Even as Zero spoke, he hardly met Caim's gaze with his own; now was no exception, although his expression had just visibly shifted, a possible glimmer of raw emotion. As if on cue, knowing of the situation, Lily jumped down from the table to go and circle Zero's ankles before curling at his feet.

A blank look down to Lily before Zero turned his head toward the adjacent wall. His mouth felt too dry, but stiff emotions leaked through to his voice, anyway. It was some kind of reluctant fear; different from how he'd felt when explaining this to Cross.

"The ones from last time won't be enough," he began again. "A lot has happened. The year I was back... the risk of my dropping to a Level E has- ...it's not something I'm forced to think about, now, but-" Zero leaned his head against the wall, hair shifting over his eyes. "I began to take multiple tablets at once. ... Often times, at night, I thirst uncontrollably. I've... been thinking of locking myself in during those times." The hand at Zero's side lifted, fingers stiffly threading through pale grey hair, covering half his face. His voice went quiet. "Because I don't know what I might end up doing, otherwise."

Zero's hand fell again and he finally brought his focus to Caim. The look on his face and within tired violet eyes hardened again, but the reality behind Zero's voice & the way he actually felt continued to manage to peek through a bit. "...So they need to be stronger this time. As potent as you're possibly able to make them."