(Untitled)

[gintsune]

Who: Izuru (sealship), Gin (gintsune)
What: An Ex-captain goes to retrieve his mindfucked lieutenant.
Where: The dock.
When: Present.

Comments

[sealship]

The mirror had cracked, and then it had broken, and now the pieces of shattered glass lay littered all across the open ground, and Kira hadn't just walked in it; he'd practically rolled around in it. He might have hated himself a little more for that, too, because he knew it was pointless, that it was stupid, that it was just another game, and it wasn't even a game that he had the capability of winning. For as much talent as he had as a Shinigami, Ichimaru countered him easily enough in everything he did, and he'd never been a match for his captain. It made sense, though, didn't it, because Ichimaru wouldn't have ever picked someone to stand in place beside him if he knew that they were able to best him at anything.

And it's why Kira wouldn't have ever been good enough, no matter how goddamn hard he trained. But it went deeper than that, too, and his nails dug into the bark of the thin and wiry tree he stood next to. It went much deeper than that, because it wasn't just about Kira's ability to kill Ichimaru. No, not really. It was more about his inability to want him dead. Traitor or not, it didn't matter in the end, because everything Ichimaru did had a purpose, and he'd infected Izuru, had infected Rangiku, and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it now.

It was a disease he couldn't rub off, couldn't get off his skin, and he'd never felt more fear for anyone in his entire life that he felt for Ichimaru Gin.

... And wasn't it messed up that he could still not bring himself to hate him.

(And, yeah, that fucking killed the worst, hurt the worst, that he couldn't hate him, couldn't even say it, couldn't think it, because Ichimaru had done too much for him, and he--

He was indebted to him, to an extent.)

His jaw set, and blue eyes jerked upward at that familiar shift in the air upon Ichimaru's arrival that sent tremors and wavelengths of electricity through oxygen already laced with fire and ash. Long fingers dragged down the trunk of the tree as he pulled away, trailing forward and focusing on the figure standing off in the near-distance. It might have stung just a little to see him standing at the base of the dock, relaxed and calm and exactly as Kira remembered him being.

Might have stung, and it wasn't fucking fair, and his ears still rung with the sound of Matsumoto-san's voice, detached and pained in ways it shouldn't have ever been.

He moved forward, regardless (because wasn't that what good, obedient vice-captains did, and all Izuru wanted to do was tear his fucking hair out).

"Taichou," and the title rolled off his tongue with some difficulty, choked and strangled and just not right in the middle, before it tumbled from his mouth in a hurried mess.

[gintsune]

He could practically feel the unease radiating off of Kira before he so much as spoke. It was a common thing. A common feeling. The man was devout and meek and a Hell of a fighter when he found it in himself to be, but even that stemmed from devotion in the end, and who was there in the world that he was bound to so tightly as Gin? He knew it, knew it well, and he was smiling when Kira approached - smiling when he turned to face him, a long moment after that weak-at-best greeting had faded to nothing and was lost to the air with the same ease that Kira's utter commitment was lost on Ichimaru.

"Hey, Kira-kun."

And that was it. Ichimaru-Taichou, there in his full glory as if he'd never left, serpents twisting the air around him and situated somewhere just beyond comprehension, just beyond distrust, but tightening uncomfortably as ever they had. His hand fell from his zanpakuto. He wouldn't need it. There had been a creeping sensation that he would - that Kira had finally shattered beyond repair and that he had intended to come at him hacking and slashing and out for blood.

That was a silly thought. I risked my life to protect yours. No-one willing to go to such lengths would turn around to destroy it themselves. Gin should have known - should have realized that it didn't matter what Kira knew, what he believed; when it came down to it, he hadn't had to do much convincing at all. Kira would be there when he asked it of him. Whether it took coaxing or not, he would never have to worry about this man - his claws were already buried, and if he struggled there was nothing for him to do but bleed out.

Funny, how that worked.

[sealship]

Kira honestly hadn't even considered going for his zanpakutou. Even when it had been drawn, and even when his temper had flared dangerously for all of five seconds, he hadn't ever really considered the possibility of killing Gin. That might have had something to do with the fact that it just wasn't a possibility, however. The only thing he could ever do when it came to Ichimaru was follow orders, was to listen to him as if nothing had changed, as if he hadn't betrayed him or anyone else in the Soul Society.

As if none of it mattered when it actually meant the entire goddamn world.

Those same eyes flitted downward briefly (for barely even a second, though; he didn't like to take his eyes off of Gin's face for more than a moment, as the tilt and venom of his smile was typically a good indicator to what he was going to do next) to pass over the hilt of Shinsou. It was where it belonged, of coursed, safely sheathed in its barrier at Gin's waist, but the mere sight of the weapon had always been enough to send Kira's skin crawling.

He looked back up to him, and his mouth opened a little, opened to speak, but no words came out. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to say, really, what it was that he needed to say.

Really, he shouldn't have even been there, but. A vice-captain was nothing without his captain, and Izuru tended to prove this better than most.

Still. He kept his distance.

"You look well, Taichou," he said after a minute, hands folded neatly in front of him, and his voice had finally steeled itself (and if he pretended, if he shut his eyes and ignored the difference in Gin's uniform, it was almost as if nothing had changed).

[gintsune]

It was more than he could've come to expect, for Kira to be so calm. Pretending to be so calm, rather. Calm and afraid but utterly lacking that murderous intent that had claimed him in those few moments, and he couldn't help but wonder just how ran had explained to get him so very worked up. It didn't matter now; there wasn't any sign of that malice resurfacing, there wouldn't be so long as Gin kept a close watch.

"'m alright. Y'look a li'l worse f'the wear y'self."

Painfully casual and even kind, that counteractive quality that all but negated his venom, that made him so hard to despise and yet so easy to want to hate.

"Guess we're gonna have'ta settle ya in someplace, too. Funny, 've gotten all these people stowed away and ain't even got a place o' my own yet."

He didn't need one - not really - and never would. Ever the drifter, it was the single constant of Gin's mysterious nature, one that Kira probably knew just as well as Rangiku did.

No, Ichimaru did not care about having a home - but for now it was important that he stay close to Kira, work to regain his faith bit by bit - for while he was here and subservient it remained unsure, and Gin had to hammer out the possibilities of him faltering before he had the chance to do so.

[sealship]

For as calm as Kira may have appeared to be, there wasn't a whole lot that was tying him together at that moment. His hands were folded in front of him, yes, but the nails of his fingers were digging into his palm hard enough that they were cutting into the skin and drawing little spots of blood. And all of this was to keep his hand from going down to Wabisuke, to keep himself from drawing his blade, because he knew that that was what he should have done, was what he needed to do, was what was practically required of him. But then there was that other part that still regarded Ichimaru as his captain, and he couldn't kill his captain, but--

He was still lieutenant of the 3rd Division, wasn't he, and his sole responsibility was to the Soul Society.

But the Soul Society wasn't there, either. The only little remnant he even had left that still held him to his job was Ichimaru, and without Ichimaru, Kira didn't have a whole goddamn lot.

Couldn't reach for Wabisuke, couldn't do anything, but he really, really wanted to. Needed to do something to prove that he wasn't under the lull and spell of a traitor whose smile burned like acid. Needed to do something, really goddamn needed to, and his hands were beginning to hurt, but he still didn't move.

"I'm not surprised, Taichou," he said, then, in response to his last statement, because -- well, he really wasn't surprised. It wasn't like Ichimaru to stay in one place, after all.

[gintsune]

Kira's inaction was inspiring. He couldn't resist the temptation. Despite knowing that the lieutenant was so on edge - perhaps he'd already spiraled over - Ichimaru wanted to go just a bit farther. Wanted to tighten his hold a little more.

His fingers flexed against the coarse fabric of his sleeve, corners of his mouth upturning just so - a nearly imperceptible change that remained as he stepped forward, closer, no visible tension in the lines of his shoulders or stance.

The hand lifted - lowered - and found its place resting firmly at Kira's shoulder.

"Y'won't mind lettin' me use yours, will ya?"

Such close proximity warranted no need for volume, and Gin used it to his advantage - voice lower - liquid venom that sept from him and all around him and engulfed them both.

"Gotta make sure nothin' happens, after all."

[sealship]

Kira went cold.

His chin jerked up a bit when Gin closed the distance between them, crossing over the dirt and the sand and the dying grass as if this were the most casual and relaxed situation he'd ever been in. All the muscles in his body released all of their tension in that moment of brief surprise, and his fingers relaxed against his palm, the blood from where his fingernails had broken the skin trailing down toward the vein in his wrist. Both hands fell to his sides, then, one brushing over the hilt of Wabisuke as it went, and Gin wasn't just standing too close now, he had his hand on his shoulder, and Kira couldn't breathe.

He could kill you just like that, you know, part of his brain whispered. Could tear into you, and destroy you, and annihilate every single inch of you until nothing is left. Could do it, you know, and you're still not doing anything, still aren't moving, and he's going to kill you someday.

He already is, he replied, and his brain fell silent.

"I--"

What could he say to that, really?

"I... No. Of course not, Taichou." It wasn't much more than a whisper, though, and the blood from his palm dripped down onto the sand beneath his feet.

[gintsune]

Gin regarded him silently for some time. The quiet hung over them, closed in on them, waves seemingly dulled by the absolute nothingness of that moment - Ichimaru's smile and the pointed squeeze to his lieutenant's shoulder before the hand slid off.

He was terrified, and Gin felt accomplished. Wondered what he was thinking - if he expected to die, if he thought there would be some grand explanation behind Gin's actions and betrayal. How many questions must have been swimming in poor Kira's mind, how many even had answers, and Gin was forcefully suppressing them, pushing them away through fear and imposition and every subtle opening that he could, and the smile never once wavered.

"Good."

One less thing to worry about, not that he was ever particularly concerned over anything - and his hands were hidden by his sleeves as his eyes slid lower, resting momentarily at Wabisuke's hilt.

This weapon is a threat, he thought, and it was funny, because one of the only blades that would prove effective in this place was wielded by a man who would not use it, there and at the ready and likely screaming for his blood.

That note brought something more to his attention, and it was with a vague sense of irony that gin regarded the rivulets painting crimson in their wake - Kira was willing to sacrifice his life for him and bled for him even now, whether he realized it or not.

"Ya hurt y'self."

Because he needed to say it, needed Kira to know that he saw and knew it all, and that the twisted smile was hardly just skin deep.

[sealship]

Blue eyes flickered nervously at the squeeze of his captain's hand on his shoulder, before those same eys refocused back on his face. The pressure was gone, at least, but he was still closer than he should have been, was still stealing all of Kira's oxygen until his lungs felt ready to burst. And he couldn't do this, could he, but he didn't even really know what it was that he was doing.

"It's nothing, Taichou," he murmured quietly, voice barely audible because he hardly had anything left to give. The blood kept trickling, kept dripping onto the ground, and Kira's fingers twitched lightly against the black of his uniform.

And he hated the way he was responding, then, the way he couldn't say anything to Ichimaru without sounding as if he were selling his goddamn soul. Yes, Taichou. No, Taichou. Of course, Taichou. As you wish, Taichou. Whatever you want, Taichou. I'd slit my own throat if you asked me to, Taichou. I know you're a traitor to everything I believe in, Taichou. No, it doesn't matter, Taichou. Yes, I'm a terrible liar, Taichou. Yes, you've always been better, Taichou.

It would have been easier, Kira decided, if Gin would just draw his goddamn sword, if Gin would kill him already so he didn't have to worry about it, didn't have to think about it, didn't have to sit and wonder why his captain would do something so horrible like betray the Soul Society. It would be easier, because then at least he could do something, then, at least he could draw Wabisuke, except--

Well, he wasn't sure if he even would draw Wabisuke, regardless of whether or not Gin wanted to kill him.

How tragic, his brain commented. Kira wished it would shut the hell up.

[gintsune]

Another long moment, another eternity in which Gin silently looked upon the portrait of a man before him, dutifully admiring his own work. I will kill you if I ever see you again. And there they stood, practically eye to eye, though Kira was lower and always would be lower yet always seemed content so long as he contributed to ascension. And there Gin stood, a product of that devotion and blind ignorance, looking down upon the support that had grown into a pawn grown into the supported. Resolution was such a weak thing.

Gin's gaze strayed to the water once again, though it proved no more than a passing glance as his body followed through - turning on a heel to fall into steps that failed to rise above the quiet of the area. His voice was a different story, airy and pleasant and utterly disconcerting, just out of place enough to penetrate the stifling air between them.

"C'mon, Izuru." And for all of its kindness and feigned camaraderie the command may as well have been heel.

"Y'can fix it when we find a house."

[sealship]

It wouldn't ever stop, he thought vaguely. Gin wouldn't ever quit unless he had a reason to quit, but he never would, would he. Never would when he had everything he needed right at his feet, when all the people who used to care about him (and still did, to some extent) listened and nodded along in time with everything that he said. And Kira hated that Gin made it so easy to want to listen, to want to believe him, and Kira hated even more that he wasn't even trying to stop listening, wasn't trying to pull away when he needed to, needed to get away, needed to leave, needed to forget.

But again, Kira had always been afraid of his taichou. There weren't many people that were able to ignore the sort of demonic poison that lurked just beneath that calm and passive smile, and Kira had always known his place, always known where he was supposed to stand, what he was supposed to do to get in the position he had now. Vice-captain.

He wished now that he hadn't ever accepted the title.

The casual use of his first name was like a slap in the face. Too real, and too personal, and he tensed again. Gin turned and moved away, and he swallowed hard, watching, and waiting, and wondering, but mostly just willing himself to relax enough so that he could walk.

"... Yes, Captain."

And then, just as he always had, Kira Izuru followed.