Apr 14, 2009 13:11
Well not an all out lie, but a lie by omission. I'm sorry but when you say I called an oncologist and oops in the same sentence without any follow up... you're not telling me the truth. I know it isn't lab error because two different labs were used. I also know what my persistent low levels of hCG could mean. I know that cancer is at the top of the list, but I never asked to have things sugar coated. I wish he'd have just finished his sentence. I've spent the past few days crying at the drop of a hat, but I'm at the point now I just want to know. If it is indeed cancer, I want to start fighting, if it isn't then I need to know what the heck is going on with my body. The biopsy is scheduled for 4/24 along with some preliminary blood work. If all of that comes back normal then we get to search deeper for the answer and that oncologist... oops will become a part of my reality.
I know it's not His fault, but last night while I was lying in bed talking with God (I do not pray very often, but I do chat with the Big Guy alot)I wondered aloud why he would deny me a baby only to turn around an seemingly deny me my life. I figure an all loving God wouldn't do that so even if it is cancer I am going to fight this and pull through.