(no subject)
this has been the longest week and i guess now weekend. the best thing that has happened to me all day was the fortune in my fortune cookie with my lucky number on the back....
ALL YOUR HARD WORK WILL SOON PAY OFF
dear god i really hope this is true because all i have done this past week is freak out about all the work i've got to due and that is due within days of each other. i just really haven't been myself this week. i know it and so does my best friend and my boyfriend. i've just had a lot on my mind and i second guess everything, including all the work i've done. i just feel like i fall short alot. i mean well but i never say the right things or i never say anything at all. which is true, i avoid things, especially confrontation. i question whether or not i'm doing the right things and who i'm with. i just wonder where i am going to be a year from now, three years from now, because i have no idea and it scares the hell out of me. yet at the same time its exciting to daydream about all the things that could happen and places i could go. yet i am constantly reminded that its a far fetched dream and in reality i have no money. i have never hated money more than i do now. there is never enough money. its still nice to dream once and awhile. i just try to go with it and never even attempt to plan things anymore in the hopes that maybe one day things will work themselves out. and maybe just maybe my hard work and good intentions will have paid off??