061705
Remember that time we were down there. I said I was going to the beach to watch the sunset. I went to weekapaug because it reminds me of my dad and I gathering rocks for the sauna when I was little. I was really confused. Sometimes you just look at life and wonder how things can be so beautiful. Or how could they not be? I have a weird feeling. Something weird.. I'm sad.
Get back to my car and theres a message from you that says if I care I'll go down to watchill by 8:30. I don't know why but I find myself weaving in and out of backroads in misquamicut to watchhill. Weaving in and out of thoughts. I wanted to beat you there.. and go lay down in the sand. And pretend I had been there the whole time. That I wasn't there to see you. Who am I kidding.. hahaha. When your not there I always have a slight hope you'll just show up. You turn the corner and your brothers old car. I hate that car. We walk to the beach. Walk out on the rocks. I'm thinking about diving in and asking you what you would do if I fell. Hours go by.. It's pitch black now. I'm pushed up next to you, not facing you, with elbows bent and arms perfectly parallel with your legs.. resting on your legs. Thank your for supporting me. Your so sad. I don't know what to do. I get up to leave..stop.. your so sad.
I stand there looking at you.. and start to walk away. You stand up and yell wait and when I turn my head to look at you, behind you the entire sky lights up. You just stand there... like you knew it was supposed to happen. "Hey did you see that!!!!!!" I yell- you just modestly say that I shouldn't go and thats a sign. Eventually we walk to the cars. You stole my keys and I'm causing a scene trying to get them back. haha thats when I decided to keep a hidden spare key in my car. After too much stalling I start to drive away. You yell wait again, but this time I don't. Your in your car following me.. quite fast. You know that stop sign in watch hill where the road on the right is a do not enter and anyone coming from that road has a stop sign so there no need for the position i'm in- to stop.. I see an animal and start to slow down.. see a van coming around the corner.. look to my left and see you in the left lane.. last image- your car facing the van.
Note to self: Don't Die.