The first step in moving on is letting go...
[Cleaned-up AIM log with likely_evil
Anna: *HUGS ...with one arm. BUT IT'S THE BESTEST ARM SHE HAS*
Sam!Mun: Sam misses Anna sometimes.
Anna: Only sometimes?
Sam: Yeah. I don't miss your nagging. *smirks just a bit*
Anna: Jackass. *whacks him with her good hand, smirking*
Sam: Ow!
Anna: I nag your brother, not you. I'm just a smartass to you.
Sam: But I do miss you sometimes. Times we'd just go off to get dinner and sit around and talk. I miss that.
Anna: And all those times I saved your ass.
Sam: And all the times I saved YOUR ass.
Anna: It was like twice. Three, four times, tops. *smirk*
Sam: Yeah. Sure.
Anna: *gets serious now* I really miss you, Sammy.
Sam: *nods, rubbing neck* I really miss you too.
Anna: Well, one outta two ain't bad.
Sam: *sighs* I can't talk for Dean, Anna. You know I won't.
Anna: I know. How-- how is he doing? I just... I know I sound crazy but there's this aching pain and it keeps getting worse. It's like I can feel him hurting.
Sam: They aren't going easy on him, Anna. The demons and angels are both after him, and they are using every card they have. It's... he's not really who you remember anymore. I try... I try to help but I'm not really all that stable anymore either.
Anna: *and that is the sound of her heart shattering* I can't do anything...
Sam: It's gotten too big. This... this war is just taking too much. You're better where you are because there's not much left right now we can afford to lose. You being there... it's something we can still hold onto. Have a reason to fight. Someone to look forward to seeing again when this is over.
Anna: You still have Bobby, too.
Sam: *sad chuckle* If he ever wants to see us against once this is over.
Anna: *frowns* Sam, why do you say that? What the hell happened?
Sam: *sad laugh* You know what I miss most? I miss conversations that didn't talk about death and the end of the world. I miss those times where we'd make fun of Dean for being dressed up like Hansel by a shapeshifting monster movie fanatic, or that time you crawled into my bed drunk off your ass...
Anna: *now he's just gonna make her cry* Or when we went undercover at that school and you got stuck being the janitor because you lost to Dean at Roshambo... and the look on your face when you saw me in bed with you...
Sam: First off, Dean cheated on that. He totally wore a cup. And if he had been the janitor, you two would have been making out in the closet instead of actually working anyway. *might be blushing just a bit at those memories*
Anna: ...True. *sad smile* I miss fighting with him for hours and getting mad at him when he couldn't remember why in the first place.
Sam: I usually had to get my own room on those nights, so I don't really miss those moments...
Anna: *laughs a little but winces and holds her side* Unless we just slept in the Impala.
Sam: Which really got cramped up with three bodies in her.
Anna: That's just because you're freakishly tall.
Sam: You know, you all crack jokes but when you want someone to get stuff off the higher shelves at the stores, who do you ask first, huh? *might actually be smiling just a bit*
Anna: The guy on the ladder. *smirk*
Sam: *best Anna-whine imitation* Saaaaaaam, can you get that for me? Please? *does the batty eye thing*
Anna: Cute. Real cute.
Sam: I know I am. *dimples*
Anna: *rolls her eyes* You keep tellin' yourself that.
Sam: *just grins*
Anna: *sighs heavily, feeling tears welling up in her eyes*
Sam: *pulls her into a hug* When this is over, Anna, if I'm still alive, I'm going to come back and find you. With or without Dean, I'm going to find you ok?
Anna: *finally breaks down crying, even though it physically hurts like hell to cry* It's over, isn't it? We can never go back to those times again...
Sam: No, we can't. I'm sorry. But that doesn't mean we can't move on and see what might be.
Anna: Dean-- Dean's gone isn't he?
Sam: I don't know. He's not the same. He hasn't been... he hasn't been since I betrayed him.
Anna: Because of Ruby?
Sam: *nods*
Anna: I keep-- I keep telling myself that he'll come back when this is over. That we can try again... But the more this ache grows, the less I believe it anymore.
Sam: None of us will be the same when this is over. If we even survive.
Anna: I know none of us will. What scares me? Is that when this is over, Dean will be so far gone that I won't matter anymore.
Sam: It's one of my fears too.
Anna: I still love him, Sam. I keep tryin' to let go and move on but I can't. *starts sobbing* I just can't...
Sam: *holds her* I know. But, you're going to have to.
Anna: Because he'll never be able to love me back.
Sam: Not the same way, if at all.
Anna: I love him more than I've ever loved anyone else. How do you let go of something like that?
Sam: Time. Time and allowing yourself to let go. *he's done it. A few times* Hurts like hell, but you have to fight past it and a day will come where you realize it doesn't hurt as much anymore. And then it will hurt less and less until it just becomes a dull pain that you feel when you're reminded of it.
Anna: *HUGS ...with one arm. BUT IT'S THE BESTEST ARM SHE HAS*
Sam!Mun: Sam misses Anna sometimes.
Anna: Only sometimes?
Sam: Yeah. I don't miss your nagging. *smirks just a bit*
Anna: Jackass. *whacks him with her good hand, smirking*
Sam: Ow!
Anna: I nag your brother, not you. I'm just a smartass to you.
Sam: But I do miss you sometimes. Times we'd just go off to get dinner and sit around and talk. I miss that.
Anna: And all those times I saved your ass.
Sam: And all the times I saved YOUR ass.
Anna: It was like twice. Three, four times, tops. *smirk*
Sam: Yeah. Sure.
Anna: *gets serious now* I really miss you, Sammy.
Sam: *nods, rubbing neck* I really miss you too.
Anna: Well, one outta two ain't bad.
Sam: *sighs* I can't talk for Dean, Anna. You know I won't.
Anna: I know. How-- how is he doing? I just... I know I sound crazy but there's this aching pain and it keeps getting worse. It's like I can feel him hurting.
Sam: They aren't going easy on him, Anna. The demons and angels are both after him, and they are using every card they have. It's... he's not really who you remember anymore. I try... I try to help but I'm not really all that stable anymore either.
Anna: *and that is the sound of her heart shattering* I can't do anything...
Sam: It's gotten too big. This... this war is just taking too much. You're better where you are because there's not much left right now we can afford to lose. You being there... it's something we can still hold onto. Have a reason to fight. Someone to look forward to seeing again when this is over.
Anna: You still have Bobby, too.
Sam: *sad chuckle* If he ever wants to see us against once this is over.
Anna: *frowns* Sam, why do you say that? What the hell happened?
Sam: *sad laugh* You know what I miss most? I miss conversations that didn't talk about death and the end of the world. I miss those times where we'd make fun of Dean for being dressed up like Hansel by a shapeshifting monster movie fanatic, or that time you crawled into my bed drunk off your ass...
Anna: *now he's just gonna make her cry* Or when we went undercover at that school and you got stuck being the janitor because you lost to Dean at Roshambo... and the look on your face when you saw me in bed with you...
Sam: First off, Dean cheated on that. He totally wore a cup. And if he had been the janitor, you two would have been making out in the closet instead of actually working anyway. *might be blushing just a bit at those memories*
Anna: ...True. *sad smile* I miss fighting with him for hours and getting mad at him when he couldn't remember why in the first place.
Sam: I usually had to get my own room on those nights, so I don't really miss those moments...
Anna: *laughs a little but winces and holds her side* Unless we just slept in the Impala.
Sam: Which really got cramped up with three bodies in her.
Anna: That's just because you're freakishly tall.
Sam: You know, you all crack jokes but when you want someone to get stuff off the higher shelves at the stores, who do you ask first, huh? *might actually be smiling just a bit*
Anna: The guy on the ladder. *smirk*
Sam: *best Anna-whine imitation* Saaaaaaam, can you get that for me? Please? *does the batty eye thing*
Anna: Cute. Real cute.
Sam: I know I am. *dimples*
Anna: *rolls her eyes* You keep tellin' yourself that.
Sam: *just grins*
Anna: *sighs heavily, feeling tears welling up in her eyes*
Sam: *pulls her into a hug* When this is over, Anna, if I'm still alive, I'm going to come back and find you. With or without Dean, I'm going to find you ok?
Anna: *finally breaks down crying, even though it physically hurts like hell to cry* It's over, isn't it? We can never go back to those times again...
Sam: No, we can't. I'm sorry. But that doesn't mean we can't move on and see what might be.
Anna: Dean-- Dean's gone isn't he?
Sam: I don't know. He's not the same. He hasn't been... he hasn't been since I betrayed him.
Anna: Because of Ruby?
Sam: *nods*
Anna: I keep-- I keep telling myself that he'll come back when this is over. That we can try again... But the more this ache grows, the less I believe it anymore.
Sam: None of us will be the same when this is over. If we even survive.
Anna: I know none of us will. What scares me? Is that when this is over, Dean will be so far gone that I won't matter anymore.
Sam: It's one of my fears too.
Anna: I still love him, Sam. I keep tryin' to let go and move on but I can't. *starts sobbing* I just can't...
Sam: *holds her* I know. But, you're going to have to.
Anna: Because he'll never be able to love me back.
Sam: Not the same way, if at all.
Anna: I love him more than I've ever loved anyone else. How do you let go of something like that?
Sam: Time. Time and allowing yourself to let go. *he's done it. A few times* Hurts like hell, but you have to fight past it and a day will come where you realize it doesn't hurt as much anymore. And then it will hurt less and less until it just becomes a dull pain that you feel when you're reminded of it.