"calling all duelists....."
I figured it was time for a new entry scince the last one is damn near ancient. I've been carefully debating over a few things. I felt a shifting of the winds on the horizon and now they're here. although there are still a few things that lie stagnant, I really can't complain. Along with the changes, has brought a new perspective on things. A hope that I haven't felt in years. A burning drive to create, to make use of my hidden talents. How to bring them forth is another story, but they will be making a debute in the near future.
Jason stopped drinking and i cannot be happier. i feel like he's back if he was ever here. Hard to say, but living with an alcoholic is like living with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Somehow I Knew that the sober him was the real him. Somehow i was able to see past my anger and past my dissapointments to the real him and I never for once gave up on him. every moment of our relationship has been filled with love even during difficult times. I've never been like that with anyone.
He's been drinking scince we went to school together...To Quit Cold turkey has to be so hard for him, but i'm so proud of him. I'm so happy not to deal wth the late night mood swings. Happier for the sake of his health.Two months sober. I stayed right next to him when he went to the er for alohol withdrawl. It seems like so long ago already. I used to cry. I was really afraid I'd lose him to alcohol. I'm so greatful that he saw the light and decided to make the effort to quit.
I hate to sound cliche but our relationship is very much like the movie Crazy/Beautiful (not just because he resembles jay hernandez)perhaps with roles reversed. We both give eachother what the other one needs.I never realized what love was before we were together. I wish it would have happened during high school, saving both of us alot of pain.I never cheated on anyone, it just never seemed right before. I always felt like i was forcing an emotion i didn't feel...Now everything falls into place. It fits perfectly without having to try. I used to always wonder if there was another person out there for me because i never felt like i could be myself before. I never felt like i could share everything that I've shared with Jason. I've given all of me. I couldn't imagine anyone else in my arms or being in anyone elses arms at night. Financially, things could be better. I started a new job with low pay. low-pay is better than no pay. It's up to me to be responsible this time around and save it on a worthwhile cause like School, and not my infamous shopping sprees.(although 99% of my purchases were gifts for my friends, family and in-laws.) I've been praying and waiting for a chance to redeem myself and I've had to wait two years to do so. I'm not going to allow myself to fail.I'm not going to screw this up for me or for my son or my fiance or for the life that i want and deserve.
Jason stopped drinking and i cannot be happier. i feel like he's back if he was ever here. Hard to say, but living with an alcoholic is like living with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Somehow I Knew that the sober him was the real him. Somehow i was able to see past my anger and past my dissapointments to the real him and I never for once gave up on him. every moment of our relationship has been filled with love even during difficult times. I've never been like that with anyone.
He's been drinking scince we went to school together...To Quit Cold turkey has to be so hard for him, but i'm so proud of him. I'm so happy not to deal wth the late night mood swings. Happier for the sake of his health.Two months sober. I stayed right next to him when he went to the er for alohol withdrawl. It seems like so long ago already. I used to cry. I was really afraid I'd lose him to alcohol. I'm so greatful that he saw the light and decided to make the effort to quit.
I hate to sound cliche but our relationship is very much like the movie Crazy/Beautiful (not just because he resembles jay hernandez)perhaps with roles reversed. We both give eachother what the other one needs.I never realized what love was before we were together. I wish it would have happened during high school, saving both of us alot of pain.I never cheated on anyone, it just never seemed right before. I always felt like i was forcing an emotion i didn't feel...Now everything falls into place. It fits perfectly without having to try. I used to always wonder if there was another person out there for me because i never felt like i could be myself before. I never felt like i could share everything that I've shared with Jason. I've given all of me. I couldn't imagine anyone else in my arms or being in anyone elses arms at night. Financially, things could be better. I started a new job with low pay. low-pay is better than no pay. It's up to me to be responsible this time around and save it on a worthwhile cause like School, and not my infamous shopping sprees.(although 99% of my purchases were gifts for my friends, family and in-laws.) I've been praying and waiting for a chance to redeem myself and I've had to wait two years to do so. I'm not going to allow myself to fail.I'm not going to screw this up for me or for my son or my fiance or for the life that i want and deserve.