June meltdown season

[absinthehearts]

It is June. June is meltdown season. June is when my daughter finally has to face up to the fact that she hasn't been keeping up on her out of class work for the entire term, there is no way to catch up at this point, and she is likely to lose a full semester of credits

Comments

[kallisti]

The first thing you need to do is to stop blaming yourself! It's bad for you, and it will be bad for your daughter if she needs you, and you are in a funk because you spend so much time beating yourself up. Second of all, with all the problems your daughter has to deal with, the problems you have to deal with and the whole family situation, it would have taken a super-mom to fix all of that....and as you don't wear a cape and a costume with an "S" on the chest, you are not supermom, so stop blaming yourself already!

All I can suggest is that rather than try to force her to complete high school, find something that she enjoys doing and get her doing it, either as an intern/volunteer, or paying if such can be found. In two or three years, she can then either go to an adult high school, or do a HS equivalency course/test. By then, she will have some life experience behind her, and have a better idea of what she wants to do in life.

Also, do you network with other parent's who have kids with the same types of challenges? If not, do so. At least talk to the Friar! He might have some ideas for you!

And do remember you have friends who care, and wish they could help you more.

[absinthehearts]

I don't network with other parents. I chat with Ivy occassionally, because, as you remarked, our kids have some overlapping issues, and are close in age. I read dextra's postings practically religiously, for a lot of reasons, including her having a child close in age to my own, but also out of sheer admiration for her indefagitable ability to see a silver lining. And, of course, for a window into the glamorous life of an ex-pat.

For the most part, I don't even know other parents. One of my best friends has kids, but they are much younger, and she's always been able to make the tough choices about discipline and follow through that I never could. Thus, much of her commentary is prefaced with 'well, it would have helped a lot if, when she was younger, you...' Sadly, that ship has already sailed.

I do take comfort in the fact that high school and college are not going anywhere, and many of the best students I have ever had have been mature returnees. Getting her out and doing is going to be work -- like me, she and her boyfriend and both somewhat hermit-like, and prefer to stay home and hide from the world. She is still talking about next year in high school; she still has some friends there who have another year to go.

Career wise, she would like to work in the dental industry. Specifically, she would like to work in a lab carving crowns and dentures. She could work alone, with headphones, and not have to interact with too many people. The work is always the same, but it is always different at the same time -- like it was when I used to design business cards and menus for a living.

She isn't interested in an insulin pump, and they won't give her one anyways, because you have to have 2 years of good control to qualify. But, she'll be six blocks away, and I'll see her in person at least two or three times a week (dinner date, grocery shopping, and laundry at Mom's). She's the only person on my facebook chat list, so I can nudge her there to test and correct. It is not perfect, but it is more than anyone else in her life is willing to do for her. Right now, I can't even get her dad to return my calls.

[kallisti]

You really need to network with some other parents!!!! And there are lots resourced on the Net, on Facebook, and even here on LJ for parents with children who have special needs of all sorts, and for people who have special needs. One that I enjoy, and occasionally has helpful information is TotallyADD.com, which is run, in part by Rick Green...yes, Commander Rick aka half of the people behind the Red Green show. He has some great videos for on dealing with ADD, and some of the various problems it causes...like, Procrastination!

http://totallyadd.com/procrastination-and-overwhelm/

Use google, it will point you in many directions, some of them good!