(no subject)
I don't have any real explanation as to why I haven't been there recently - I was actually in college on the day of the presentation. I was in the Library. I have found there I can just fade into the background which is what I wanted to do that day.
I have never been able to be comfortable speaking in front of people that I don't really know. I know it was an informal setting but I would have felt just as bad. It is something that has always been an issue for me. I have it set in my mind that the people around me are so much more intelligent than me and that compared to a lot of people, especially at college, I am just an ignorant child and I can't seem to think otherwise when I see that people have done so much more than me and in a way it feels like I have wasted the first 18 years of my life.
I don't think that I can apologise for this because I can't really apologise for the way I am. I understand that I that my marks will suffer as a result of this - I accepted that a long time ago that my problems would get me in trouble at college. I know I'm not the model student - I'm reserved, I don't connect well with people, I'm not as intelligent as people expect and it is very hard for me to ask for help even when I really need it.
As for the other work I have to do - that has not really been a problem as I don't seem to mind writing so much (this is obvious by the length of this piece) so that is not really an issue.
I would ask that you don't send an e-mail reply to this as there is a chance that the wrong person could read it.
Thanks for taking the time to read this and hopefully I won't be such a screw up in the future