Beth (Risch) Stayer 1975-2009
A girl I went to school with and worked with at 2 different jobs was brutally murdered by her ex-husband last week. We weren't close buddies and actually got in some heated debates over my super-granola parenting preferences and her super-anti-granola-parenting preferences...but she was still a very sweet person and a caring nurse nonetheless. I honestly did enjoy working with her, even if I knew damn well that she would always find a way to get some patient transferred to a higher/more critical care unit (which is what I worked). It was a running joke and I think she knew it...because she'd say "What? Nah...I don't do that!" and then 2 hours later I'd get a call "Hi, Carie...this is Beth...from postpartum? Yeah...my patient in room 25 is contracting alot and I'm going to be bringing her over to the OBICU...". Same thing when I worked NICU and she was in normal newborn nursery. It was just one of those things you'd deal with, chuckle, and go on.
The best descriptor I can give is that Beth was a gentle soul. When talking to her, she would listen and you could tell she was paying attention because her eyes would grow wide like she subconsciously thought that by opening her eyes wider her ears and brain could take more in. Sometimes it was annoying and I just wanted to say "Beth, stop that!!" but watching her listen to patients like that was endearing in a sweet and quirky way.
Monday night I was reading the news online at work. I hadn't seen the local news in almost a week, and when I started reading that article that I linked, I saw the picture and thought "Hmmm, that chick looks SCARILY like Beth Risch--oh what was her married name?!?" I scroll down and see her name "Beth Stayer" and my heart immediately sank. Oh wait...it HAS to be a typo...I was just thinking about her the other day and wondering what she was up to (a thought that I now find almost painfully eerie in its timing)...double check on another website and the realization begins to wash over me like a cold, slow-moving glaze. Beth is gone.
The photo of her in this article is totally how I will remember her...cooing over a newborn as she did their assessment, and doing so with a gentle soul and a complete love for nursing.
Her visitation is today. Funeral is tomorrow. I don't think I will be able to make it to either as they are being held a few hours away. I also don't think the gravity of her murder has fully sank in yet. Again, we weren't close buddies--just gals who spent a hell of alot of time working alongside each other in adjacent nursing units and who would occasionally quarrel about the necessity/unnecessity of routine newborn circumcision, the practicality of homebirth, and the like. I know it will hit me, most likely abruptly and when I'm alone...the shock will cause the tears to flow and the ugly sobbing will consume me for awhile. It is the way things go, and life will still continue for me, even though I will have to pause for a brief moment in honor and memory of Beth.
So to all of you...no need to offer *me* condolences, hugs, or positive thoughts. Please think of her kids, her family, and offer up prayers/positive thoughts that her soul may find peace.
The best descriptor I can give is that Beth was a gentle soul. When talking to her, she would listen and you could tell she was paying attention because her eyes would grow wide like she subconsciously thought that by opening her eyes wider her ears and brain could take more in. Sometimes it was annoying and I just wanted to say "Beth, stop that!!" but watching her listen to patients like that was endearing in a sweet and quirky way.
Monday night I was reading the news online at work. I hadn't seen the local news in almost a week, and when I started reading that article that I linked, I saw the picture and thought "Hmmm, that chick looks SCARILY like Beth Risch--oh what was her married name?!?" I scroll down and see her name "Beth Stayer" and my heart immediately sank. Oh wait...it HAS to be a typo...I was just thinking about her the other day and wondering what she was up to (a thought that I now find almost painfully eerie in its timing)...double check on another website and the realization begins to wash over me like a cold, slow-moving glaze. Beth is gone.
The photo of her in this article is totally how I will remember her...cooing over a newborn as she did their assessment, and doing so with a gentle soul and a complete love for nursing.
Her visitation is today. Funeral is tomorrow. I don't think I will be able to make it to either as they are being held a few hours away. I also don't think the gravity of her murder has fully sank in yet. Again, we weren't close buddies--just gals who spent a hell of alot of time working alongside each other in adjacent nursing units and who would occasionally quarrel about the necessity/unnecessity of routine newborn circumcision, the practicality of homebirth, and the like. I know it will hit me, most likely abruptly and when I'm alone...the shock will cause the tears to flow and the ugly sobbing will consume me for awhile. It is the way things go, and life will still continue for me, even though I will have to pause for a brief moment in honor and memory of Beth.
So to all of you...no need to offer *me* condolences, hugs, or positive thoughts. Please think of her kids, her family, and offer up prayers/positive thoughts that her soul may find peace.