100 (Action / Network)

[absinthe_eyed]

[Action]
[Tuesdays are Justin's day off. He has decided to spend this particular Tuesday near the fountain. It's not the sort of place he favors--too many people, too much noise--but there is a perfectly good reason to brave the crowds today.

He's hunched over a book, glancing up occasionally to see if there are any familiar faces.]

[Network]
I used

Comments

[derangetheworld]

There's things you can count on.

[He's a little ways off, calling out just loud enough to be sure you'll hear, Justin. Don't ask how long he's been watching, 'cause he'll tell you he hasn't.]

[absinthe_eyed]

[He's probably been there for hours. Creeper. Justin takes his book and walks over to Richard. He would rather not shout out a conversation across the Square.]

Like you... provided girls, threats of jail time, or execution aren't involved.

[This isn't said with any kind of rancor. And hey, notice something new? Like a slightly more lively look about Justin? Someone's alive now.]

[derangetheworld]

[Maybe not hours, but long enough that the title of creeper is well earned. He takes a good long look at the other boy, slow and exaggerated, dropping his cigarette on the ground.]

Why stay away when I can always count on a friendly greeting? Nice. What'd you trade to grow a pair?

[absinthe_eyed]

[Creeper and sexual predator just waiting to happen. Those long, slow looks are just... those aren't platonic looks, okay.]

Because you don't have anything better to do.

[He'll ignore that last bit, thanks.]

[derangetheworld]

[On the contrary, Justin, they are the definition of Platonic. Just ask Aristophanes. Richard digs that whole idea.]

You think I don't like dropping by to see you?

[How can you distrust a face like this, Justin?]

[absinthe_eyed]

[...Maybe the ancient Greeks shouldn't come up in relation to Richard.]

I can't tell. Do you?

[That face has led to so much trouble.]

[derangetheworld]

[Oh come on now, Justin. You're probably the only person who remotely qualifies as being worthy of a deep emotional connection, in Richard's book. However dysfunctional it might have been.]

Of course I do.

[That face isn't going away any time soon.]

[absinthe_eyed]

[It was dysfunctional, but parts of it were nice.]

Why?

[It's a perfectly honest question. Justin's still in a two-month funk and he isn't exactly in the right mindset to feel more than guilty and vaguely nostalgic around Richard.]

[derangetheworld]

What do you mean, why?

[Guilt and nostalgia he can definitely work to his advantage, he thinks.]

What we did together was the most important stuff in my life. We understood each other in a way no one else ever could. Why wouldn't I want that back?

[absinthe_eyed]

[Sometimes it really, truly sucks to have someone around who knows how Justin ticks and can read him like a book. Fortunately (unfortunately?), Richard's the only person who can read Justin's poker face.]

I don't know. Sometimes I thought it was just a game to you... something to do because you were bored. You're a good actor, Richard. What you say and what you feel aren't always the same.

[sadly] I do miss you.

[derangetheworld]

[Richard is a good actor; good enough, maybe, to fool himself. Or maybe just not a good enough person to know the difference, not grounded enough to discern the difference between sign and signifier. Fuck if he knows. The philosophical stuff is Justin's responsibility, it's enough for Richard to want and have and act. Does it really make a difference, whether it's about feelings or the feeling of power?]

I'm here now, right?

[He doesn't say good because he knows they both know it.]

[absinthe_eyed]

[Those are the ways in which they differ. Justin's never been a good actor, and sometimes logical formulas make a hell of a lot more sense than the things people say. Wanting is not something that should be indulged; acts are to be considered carefully. Feelings and power aren't remotely alike, even though feelings can aid the powerful and power can influence feelings.

One coin, two sides. No matter how much time passes, that will always be true to a degree.]

For the tetrannual visit? Yes.

[Justin suddenly takes great interest in his shoes.]

I'm alive now. Here, at least.

[derangetheworld]

[If there's any satisfaction to be found in whatever purgatorial existence Richard has left, Justin's inability to completely shake him constitutes the bulk of it.]

Yeah. How's that work, anyway?

[It's not exactly that he's jealous, just... uncertain. It's a new development and not one he would have expected-- a certain simpering guilt has always been one of Justin's least flattering qualities, after all, like a martyr's smug satisfaction with his own execution. This is change, and change is typically not for the better.]

[absinthe_eyed]

I made a trade. Eighteen eyes for life in the City.

[He meets Richard's eyes, trying to read them. Justin expects uncertainty... maybe a hint of jealousy because he has an existence that Richard doesn't. Perhaps even anger. But Justin can't read Richard like he used to. There's more distance between them than Richard could fathom, even if they'll always have some kind of connection.]

Does that upset you?

[derangetheworld]

[There's something cold in his look, but that's hardly unusual. Is he jealous? No more jealous of life than life, the opportunity to be. Lacking one he hasn't the luxury to covet the other separately. Richard was the principle of agency and action, after all, in their pair.]

Where'd you get them?

[Richard thinks your question is a bullshit question, Justin, he's not answering it.]

[absinthe_eyed]

I bought them.

[It's nothing if not ironic that the quiet, thought-oriented half of them ended up with life--the ability to act and talk to girls and do more than think. Justin knows that. He also has no intention of letting his question go.]

Does it upset you that I'm alive?