it's been awhile
....at least two months, anyway, since the last time I've really updated. College life is treating me good, although I've been struggling with a bad case of "homesick" for the past few days. I had spring break last week, one in which I sat around and did absolutely nothing. My Mother really used to hate me in high school, but now that we don't have to share a house, I've found that she is one of my best friends. I really enjoy spending time with her when I go home. Just like in High school, when I found myself sick of the Mt. Pleasant bullshit, very early in my career as a student, I'm already going through the same thing here. It's not that I party a lot, in fact...I don't, but I have in moderation and I feel so over it already. I don't want to spend my saturday and sunday morning nursing hangovers, and I dont want to think ugly people are hot just because I'm drunk, and I don't want to be fake to hang out with a decent party crowd. I don't want to be trashy either. Is it bad that I'd rather talk to my mom on the phone about how things are going in life, and shop for expensive purses than barf my guts up all weekend?? I made the decision to give up partying about two weeks ago, but now I've found that my friday and saturday nights are lonely and boring. Oh, what to do. I've begged my Mom to let me come home, but she won't. I have friends up here, mostly guys though and they dont' want to lay around with me on a friday night discussing their love lives, and painting nails....trust me, the facial I gave Michael, and the sunless tan I talked him into still haunts him. I miss girls a lot. I don't think I'm better than people, in fact that isn't it at all, I'm just not into the party thing, and that leaves me out of a lot of things.
Although this is really difficult for me to talk about, and even strange for me to merely think about...I think I may be single. It's a weird situation. I love Michael a whole lot, and if we are dating we are approaching a five month soon....which I think is big. He is just into the party thing, (and the pot thing, and the hard drug thing, and the "I'm a rocker" thing....)...and I hate it. Of course when we started dating, he said he was done, but now he wants to be crazy while he has the opportunity in college. It's just not for me at all, and we both know it. He is at work now, so this is the first time in a long time I've been left alone to think about our situation. We're still kissing, and holding hands, and being sappy....but I don't know what we're doing. I guess I'm retarded for thinking "I may be with him forever" ....or maybe just a sappy girl. I still love him though.
So homework starts tomorrow, school starts monday, and in two more weeks....I can go home.
I dyed my hair back black....since that is the natural color, and I started reading my bible more and going to church, I even wrote in my journal, and I miss home.
....There is something really comforting about just going back where you came from.
Although this is really difficult for me to talk about, and even strange for me to merely think about...I think I may be single. It's a weird situation. I love Michael a whole lot, and if we are dating we are approaching a five month soon....which I think is big. He is just into the party thing, (and the pot thing, and the hard drug thing, and the "I'm a rocker" thing....)...and I hate it. Of course when we started dating, he said he was done, but now he wants to be crazy while he has the opportunity in college. It's just not for me at all, and we both know it. He is at work now, so this is the first time in a long time I've been left alone to think about our situation. We're still kissing, and holding hands, and being sappy....but I don't know what we're doing. I guess I'm retarded for thinking "I may be with him forever" ....or maybe just a sappy girl. I still love him though.
So homework starts tomorrow, school starts monday, and in two more weeks....I can go home.
I dyed my hair back black....since that is the natural color, and I started reading my bible more and going to church, I even wrote in my journal, and I miss home.
....There is something really comforting about just going back where you came from.