i miss you all
i know i havent neccesarily been there for anyone because ive been too involved in my own mess but i want you all to know that i love you all. im really sorry for not taking to you when all you were trying to do was help me. im sorry for not listening to some of your advice. im sorry for being so selfish. im sorry for ever hurting any of you. im sorry for lying to you. im sorry for breaking my promises. im sorry for everything. i wish i could just go back to eigth grade and start all over. i loved my people there. amanda, hannah, ben, kelly, jeremy, milagro... everyone of them... alysha... i miss all of them. i mean yeah i still talk to some of them but i know our relationships arent as good as they used to be. some of them i hardly talk to anymore. they seem like nothing but acquaintances. i miss people like kelsie and candi and ori who made me hang on even when i didnt want to. i miss everyone that ever really had a part in my life. i miss all of them. i miss having friends. im not saying that i dont know but i just feel so alone now. i mean it doesnt matter how many people are around me i just feel that if i were to drop to my knees and scream at the top of my lungs in the middle of all of them none of them would budge. because i havent done anything to make them want to be my friend anymore. anyways what i guess im trying to do is apologize for all my wrong doings and maybe we should start over. fix things. i cant go on in my life being alone all the time. i need people like you guys in my life.