(no subject)
Have you ever realized how an encounter can have such a profound effect on one person and leave another completely unfazed? A relationship can change one of the people’s lives completely and have little to no effect on the other half. An experience; a conference, movie, song, visit, anything can rock someone's world and totally change their outlook on life, at least for a little while, but that same experience may just be something that occupies another persons time or keeps them entertained for a little while.
I guess sometimes I feel like other people are not affected by the same things as me. Sometimes movies can put me in weird moods where I just think about things, overanalyze life really. Something, like a visit to UGA means the world to me. I feel like I have a lot of good friends there. But for all I know they just see me as that girl who comes to Athens cause she doesn't like to be home much. I know that there are people there who think more than that of me, but I still feel invisible sometimes. I go places and then I’m forgotten as soon as I leave. Last semester there were days when I longed for people to even talk crap about me behind my back because it meant that they at least noticed me. I felt like a ghost. Even in high school I was usually forgotten from parties and stuff, it wasn't that people didn't want me there I’m just somehow easy to forget.
Wow, that was a strange tangent- Luckily I haven’t felt that way very much anymore. And usually when I do feel that way it's just a passing mood, like a smile or a tear. I just thing it's interesting that people can have a profound effect on my life and not even realize it. Some of my favorite people may not even see me as more than an acquaintance. I may even be the same way to someone else. I think it's interesting that a conversation can help me too see something in a whole new light, or help me be convicted to change and the person who I talked to may not even know I was really listening.
It's kind of like being a counselor. As a camper you I looked up to my counselors as role models, I though they were so cool. I wanted to be just like them when I grew up. It’s nice but weird to think I may have that same effect on one of my campers. It's not a conceited thing, but it is almost scary to think that some kids may be emulating my behavior. I don’t know if I’m fit for that kind of responsibility. It's comforting to know that it's in God hands, to know that he will use me somehow. When I think about how awesome God is, how he can use such crap as myself for good in this world it amazes me. I cant even think and my head spins. My thoughts are like a tumbleweed blowing in the wind and I can’t reach any conclusions. So I’ll just sit here. In awe.
I guess sometimes I feel like other people are not affected by the same things as me. Sometimes movies can put me in weird moods where I just think about things, overanalyze life really. Something, like a visit to UGA means the world to me. I feel like I have a lot of good friends there. But for all I know they just see me as that girl who comes to Athens cause she doesn't like to be home much. I know that there are people there who think more than that of me, but I still feel invisible sometimes. I go places and then I’m forgotten as soon as I leave. Last semester there were days when I longed for people to even talk crap about me behind my back because it meant that they at least noticed me. I felt like a ghost. Even in high school I was usually forgotten from parties and stuff, it wasn't that people didn't want me there I’m just somehow easy to forget.
Wow, that was a strange tangent- Luckily I haven’t felt that way very much anymore. And usually when I do feel that way it's just a passing mood, like a smile or a tear. I just thing it's interesting that people can have a profound effect on my life and not even realize it. Some of my favorite people may not even see me as more than an acquaintance. I may even be the same way to someone else. I think it's interesting that a conversation can help me too see something in a whole new light, or help me be convicted to change and the person who I talked to may not even know I was really listening.
It's kind of like being a counselor. As a camper you I looked up to my counselors as role models, I though they were so cool. I wanted to be just like them when I grew up. It’s nice but weird to think I may have that same effect on one of my campers. It's not a conceited thing, but it is almost scary to think that some kids may be emulating my behavior. I don’t know if I’m fit for that kind of responsibility. It's comforting to know that it's in God hands, to know that he will use me somehow. When I think about how awesome God is, how he can use such crap as myself for good in this world it amazes me. I cant even think and my head spins. My thoughts are like a tumbleweed blowing in the wind and I can’t reach any conclusions. So I’ll just sit here. In awe.