(no subject)
"It's all incomplete and all obsolete
and obtuse and acurate for a split second when the radio
spits and splutters our worst favourite tune."
like an aquarium our love was exclusive to these walls where your pictures hung and the environment met every one of our needs. now the water has run dry like the rain clouds over head and now the clear night sky is visable again. you remind me of the moon. so full and bright in a sea of disbelief and ridicule. you are amazing. i know you'll never believe me, i know you'll never think twice, but the greatest love i have ever known is comlplacency in feelings that are now and ever will be unrelenquished. you've abandoned me. i still find the strenghth to pick up the pieces that you've so generously chisled away into small specks of dust. i'll move on, but i'll always remember the nirvana of teenage obsession and the genocide of a young girl's security. i am alone with myself. remember when i whispered so gentally in your ear that the safest feeling i have ever known was laying in your arms? i'll survive. you choked me with your dismissal, your lack of validation. now i'm gone. like the leaves that blow so swiftly in the fall. like the casket of a man filled with worms and moss and bones. the dark veil of self hatred for all these sins of mine has slowly grown fraile and now the time has come to shed my skin once more and walk out with a smile. because the sin is not the love but for you to know i'm hurting and that i've been here all along. your kindness will never leave me and the burns will turn to scars, but those marks will always stay with me and your kiss will be a constant memory of the feelings that were so strong. as i looked over at your fingers that were gentally caressing mine. i noticed a piece of metal that was missing and i wondered if this feeling was real in your heart as it was in mine. but i know now that you are a fake and you'll get it back in time. our song has lulled me to sleep every night before bed for a week. and my tears have dried up with the dew. today i promise that instead of crying over what we could have i'll be thankful that we didn't and will never work this though. for if we had something so beautiful might have occured and for a miracle such as that would be too much to take in. we would die of some organ failing in the awe of something which we cannot understand. you will move on. and the sting of jealousy will flow through my veins. but this was not my choice, it was not an experience i had to gain, but lose. it isn't, nor will it ever be fair.