change of heart....

[abrokenstar]

so for the past couple of days i have been thinking about the whole sean ordeal. and i have come to a conclusion. i can't go see him. i can't even talk to him. i need to tell him and i don't think i can. i could never form the words to tell him something that will hurt him. i am a coward for this and i know it. but for my own sake and mental stability i can't deal with it. its been an ongoing thing for the past 10 years. i need to put it behind me. if it didn't work the first couple of times around its not going to work now. and he lives in colorado for god sakes. i love him...i do...i always will. but i just can't do it to myself.

i hope to god i am making the right desicion....

~edy