I feel a need to rant
It seems today the topic of my finances has come up in casual conversation and it's left me nothing but frustrated. So I need to get it off my chest.
I work full time, I put in 40 hours a week, 35 actual paid hours cuz I get unpaid lunch. I make about $1000 a month. I bought the van for the band with the understanding that I would do the actual van payments and insurance would be split evenly. That was march. I struggle every month now and barely scrape by with my payments. I get my 1000 for the month, and $800 goes straight to van and insurance. My insurance is $392 a month. Divide that by 5 it's about $80. I only ask for $70 from the other guys since it's my van. Now they all paid in september except Dan, and he still owes me it. but it's so frustrating cuz I feel like the bad guy having to jump down their throats just to get a fucking dime for it. They all give me their sob stories(mike excluded cuz he works his ass off like me and pays me) about how they don't make enough to pay me right now. So anyway,(this entry will be very unorganized much like my thoughts right now)
I make my $1000-800 for van things, so now I have about $200, oh wait, I still have $500 left on my computer payment, so I'll do the minimum of $70. ok I have $130. oh wait, I still have to pay off the $300 from the van's SERVICING before tour. I'll do the minimum payment cuz there's no interest. $10. yay! $120 extra money. oh wait. that's right, $30 a month for server space to host brokenhero.net and all my other sites. $90 left this month for all the extra things I wanna buy(this is all the months my band members decide they can't afford to help me) oh right i have to make minimum payments on an $80 gas fill up i did for the van for a show one day. $10. so now I have $80 left this month. Gas in the van for more shows, $50. gas in my car $30. and now I have $0!!
Today my mother asked me if I have extra money to buy new clothes. I laughed at her. I wouldn't be so frustrated at some of the guys if they were struggling to pay me the shares if they weren't so terrible at managing money. I mean come on, Dan is so in debt, but he'll go out drinking, and partying, you know he kicks in a share of that. Here's a hint, don't chip in for beer and weed and other shit and save that little bit here and there to come up with $70 for insurance. Not difficult. Andrew just got a job at borders, and says how much it sucks that he has all these bills to pay like paying me fro insurance, his cell phone bill, his bass amp to pay mike eventually. the bass that's sitting on my guitar center card. He's been pretty good lately, but I can't help but be annoyed that he complains about not having money and then I read his livejournal about how he too split for beer or bought a bunch of books at borders or something. It's not huge purchases but you see how much it adds. up. Ricky doesn't even have a job. I'm shocked at all that he comes up with $70. Mike is the only truly dependable one. It's so annoying.
There's a show at calvary tomorrow. $5. I'm seriously thinking I can't afford to go. wtf?
I feel like I'm suffering financially for other people's lack of motivation to make the same sacrafice as me. I was entertaining the thought of a second job. Between that, the band activities, and my current job. I would drop dead from exhaustion. I really would. So I often think of possible solutions.
1) Just get by barely making the payments and give up on putting together my studio in my room. Then who needs that extra money anyway. It's not like I need to see movies with friends or treat myself to some new clothes or anything.(sarcasm obviously)
2)Sell the fuckin van, pay off the loan. and let them get to shows their own way. my equipment fits in the car. I'd have a hell of a lot more money that I earned.(I couldn't actually do this, but it's crossed my mind)
3)Get a second job and never have time for anything, and still probably not have much extra money to show for it.
None of this is fair. If any of my band members read this and feel insulted. Sorry, but it's how I feel. It's not fair to me. It's just not. it's fucked up. help out. I've lent you guys money plenty of times for things pre-van cuz I always had extra money.
haha there was a time when I always had at least $1000 in my checking account and then another check came. Now a check is a sigh of relief because I won't go into the negatives.
I bought a hoodie a week ago. I felt so guilty cuz I don't know how I afforded to.
I've lost track of where I'm going with this. I just know things are fucked up right now.
On the plus side. Allison is pretty fucking cool <3
I work full time, I put in 40 hours a week, 35 actual paid hours cuz I get unpaid lunch. I make about $1000 a month. I bought the van for the band with the understanding that I would do the actual van payments and insurance would be split evenly. That was march. I struggle every month now and barely scrape by with my payments. I get my 1000 for the month, and $800 goes straight to van and insurance. My insurance is $392 a month. Divide that by 5 it's about $80. I only ask for $70 from the other guys since it's my van. Now they all paid in september except Dan, and he still owes me it. but it's so frustrating cuz I feel like the bad guy having to jump down their throats just to get a fucking dime for it. They all give me their sob stories(mike excluded cuz he works his ass off like me and pays me) about how they don't make enough to pay me right now. So anyway,(this entry will be very unorganized much like my thoughts right now)
I make my $1000-800 for van things, so now I have about $200, oh wait, I still have $500 left on my computer payment, so I'll do the minimum of $70. ok I have $130. oh wait, I still have to pay off the $300 from the van's SERVICING before tour. I'll do the minimum payment cuz there's no interest. $10. yay! $120 extra money. oh wait. that's right, $30 a month for server space to host brokenhero.net and all my other sites. $90 left this month for all the extra things I wanna buy(this is all the months my band members decide they can't afford to help me) oh right i have to make minimum payments on an $80 gas fill up i did for the van for a show one day. $10. so now I have $80 left this month. Gas in the van for more shows, $50. gas in my car $30. and now I have $0!!
Today my mother asked me if I have extra money to buy new clothes. I laughed at her. I wouldn't be so frustrated at some of the guys if they were struggling to pay me the shares if they weren't so terrible at managing money. I mean come on, Dan is so in debt, but he'll go out drinking, and partying, you know he kicks in a share of that. Here's a hint, don't chip in for beer and weed and other shit and save that little bit here and there to come up with $70 for insurance. Not difficult. Andrew just got a job at borders, and says how much it sucks that he has all these bills to pay like paying me fro insurance, his cell phone bill, his bass amp to pay mike eventually. the bass that's sitting on my guitar center card. He's been pretty good lately, but I can't help but be annoyed that he complains about not having money and then I read his livejournal about how he too split for beer or bought a bunch of books at borders or something. It's not huge purchases but you see how much it adds. up. Ricky doesn't even have a job. I'm shocked at all that he comes up with $70. Mike is the only truly dependable one. It's so annoying.
There's a show at calvary tomorrow. $5. I'm seriously thinking I can't afford to go. wtf?
I feel like I'm suffering financially for other people's lack of motivation to make the same sacrafice as me. I was entertaining the thought of a second job. Between that, the band activities, and my current job. I would drop dead from exhaustion. I really would. So I often think of possible solutions.
1) Just get by barely making the payments and give up on putting together my studio in my room. Then who needs that extra money anyway. It's not like I need to see movies with friends or treat myself to some new clothes or anything.(sarcasm obviously)
2)Sell the fuckin van, pay off the loan. and let them get to shows their own way. my equipment fits in the car. I'd have a hell of a lot more money that I earned.(I couldn't actually do this, but it's crossed my mind)
3)Get a second job and never have time for anything, and still probably not have much extra money to show for it.
None of this is fair. If any of my band members read this and feel insulted. Sorry, but it's how I feel. It's not fair to me. It's just not. it's fucked up. help out. I've lent you guys money plenty of times for things pre-van cuz I always had extra money.
haha there was a time when I always had at least $1000 in my checking account and then another check came. Now a check is a sigh of relief because I won't go into the negatives.
I bought a hoodie a week ago. I felt so guilty cuz I don't know how I afforded to.
I've lost track of where I'm going with this. I just know things are fucked up right now.
On the plus side. Allison is pretty fucking cool <3