(no subject)
Brandon Miles20 (10:35:23 AM): you want to know the funy part
Brandon Miles20 (10:35:25 AM): not at all
shirtsXnXgloves (10:35:32 AM): what
Brandon Miles20 (10:35:52 AM): im not bothered by you
Brandon Miles20 (10:36:00 AM): i can't explain it
Brandon Miles20 (10:36:12 AM): but im not bothered about you and your ex
Brandon Miles20 (10:36:24 AM): i understand cause i know what its like
shirtsXnXgloves (10:36:51 AM): that is kind of good
shirtsXnXgloves (10:36:58 AM): well, it is good
Brandon Miles20 (10:37:02 AM): :-)
shirtsXnXgloves (10:37:07 AM): i mean cause i dont want to bother you
Brandon Miles20 (10:37:24 AM): haha
Brandon Miles20 (10:37:44 AM): 'm not worried or threatened or any of that
Brandon Miles20 (10:38:23 AM): your situation with your ex is completly unconnected to you and I
Brandon Miles20 (10:38:34 AM): so i keep it that way
shirtsXnXgloves (10:38:49 AM): yeah
Brandon Miles20 (10:39:17 AM): i want this to feel safe and easy
Brandon Miles20 (10:39:27 AM): well
Brandon Miles20 (10:39:33 AM): i want it to be safe and easy
Brandon Miles20 (10:39:34 AM): lol
shirtsXnXgloves (10:39:41 AM): haha
shirtsXnXgloves (10:39:43 AM): yeah
shirtsXnXgloves (10:40:33 AM): i dont know what im doing
Brandon Miles20 (10:40:44 AM): i knew that already ;-)
shirtsXnXgloves (10:40:54 AM): i dont like it
Brandon Miles20 (10:40:55 AM): with what?
Brandon Miles20 (10:41:03 AM): what specifically
shirtsXnXgloves (10:42:03 AM): with him. i feel like im being dragged around and i cant tell if its me or him or both
Brandon Miles20 (10:42:26 AM): have you asked him what he wants?
Brandon Miles20 (10:42:30 AM): or how he feels?
shirtsXnXgloves (10:42:50 AM): not lately
Brandon Miles20 (10:42:58 AM): maybe you should?
Brandon Miles20 (10:43:19 AM): has he said anything to make you think he wants you back?
shirtsXnXgloves (10:43:27 AM): i feel like the answer is not going to be something i want to hear
shirtsXnXgloves (10:43:29 AM): no
Brandon Miles20 (10:43:41 AM): i see
shirtsXnXgloves (10:43:51 AM): i hardly talk to him, but the fact is he still does
Brandon Miles20 (10:43:52 AM): im not just saying this
Brandon Miles20 (10:43:53 AM): but
shirtsXnXgloves (10:43:55 AM): and it just drags me back
Brandon Miles20 (10:44:03 AM): i feel like you;ve answered your own question
shirtsXnXgloves (10:44:23 AM): i know.
Brandon Miles20 (10:44:38 AM): so what do YOU want?
shirtsXnXgloves (10:46:04 AM): i want what i can't have. i want to stop feeling this way but then i want to do it the right way. and the right way would to be stopping to want what i cant have. i can't make myself feel that way no matter how much i want to
Brandon Miles20 (10:46:34 AM): what can't you have?
shirtsXnXgloves (10:47:05 AM): yeah
shirtsXnXgloves (10:47:15 AM): i know that is silly of me.
Brandon Miles20 (10:47:26 AM): no
Brandon Miles20 (10:47:26 AM): what can't you have?
Brandon Miles20 (10:47:26 AM): lol
Brandon Miles20 (10:47:31 AM): johnny?
shirtsXnXgloves (10:47:43 AM): haha
shirtsXnXgloves (10:47:47 AM): yeah
Brandon Miles20 (10:47:54 AM): ok
shirtsXnXgloves (10:47:57 AM): im sorry im saying this
Brandon Miles20 (10:48:08 AM): so its an issue of acceptance
Brandon Miles20 (10:48:16 AM): its ok
Brandon Miles20 (10:48:18 AM): you know that its the truth
Brandon Miles20 (10:48:28 AM): but you just aren't accepting that its done
shirtsXnXgloves (10:48:40 AM): but isnt it
Brandon Miles20 (10:48:50 AM): maybe you should give the song i started a listen
shirtsXnXgloves (10:48:53 AM): im just being foolish
shirtsXnXgloves (10:49:37 AM): okay
Brandon Miles20 (10:49:53 AM): it may help something
Brandon Miles20 (10:51:29 AM): i want you to know that no matter what happens, you are not obligated to do anything, or you dont owe me anything
Brandon Miles20 (10:51:51 AM): i'm just following what my heart tells me
shirtsXnXgloves (10:56:25 AM): ugh
Brandon Miles20 (10:57:40 AM): ugh??
Brandon Miles20 (10:57:41 AM): haha
Brandon Miles20 (10:57:43 AM): what?
shirtsXnXgloves (10:57:45 AM): haha
shirtsXnXgloves (10:58:07 AM): i had a silly cry
Brandon Miles20 (10:58:16 AM): awww
Brandon Miles20 (10:58:25 AM): listening to my song?
Brandon Miles20 (10:58:28 AM): or just anyways
Brandon Miles20 (10:58:28 AM): lol
Brandon Miles20 (10:58:49 AM): you feel better?
shirtsXnXgloves (10:58:57 AM): just anyways
shirtsXnXgloves (10:59:23 AM): i did listen to your song though
shirtsXnXgloves (10:59:28 AM): its good
shirtsXnXgloves (10:59:41 AM): i feel a little bit better
Brandon Miles20 (11:00:00 AM): :-) good
shirtsXnXgloves (11:00:29 AM): haha
Brandon Miles20 (11:00:50 AM): hmmm
Brandon Miles20 (11:00:56 AM): i don;t know how to ask this
Brandon Miles20 (11:01:00 AM): so lets try
Brandon Miles20 (11:01:02 AM): lol
shirtsXnXgloves (11:01:04 AM): haha
shirtsXnXgloves (11:01:05 AM): okay
Brandon Miles20 (11:01:08 AM): do you need some space?
shirtsXnXgloves (11:01:28 AM): i dont know
shirtsXnXgloves (11:01:35 AM): i think
shirtsXnXgloves (11:01:56 AM): i dont want space, but i think i might need it? i dont know what i need
Brandon Miles20 (11:02:09 AM): Brandon Miles20 (10:54:08 AM): the last thing i want to do is complicate things for you and bring you down
Brandon Miles20 (11:02:25 AM): i'd prefer to lift you up and set you free
Brandon Miles20 (11:02:26 AM): lol
shirtsXnXgloves (11:03:17 AM): youre not bringing me down. but maybe its too much for me right now
shirtsXnXgloves (11:03:18 AM): haha
Brandon Miles20 (11:03:35 AM): ok
shirtsXnXgloves (11:03:39 AM): if anything, you make me feel better though just to let you know
Brandon Miles20 (11:03:51 AM): :-) well thats good
Brandon Miles20 (11:05:10 AM): im sorry things are so complcated for you
shirtsXnXgloves (11:05:18 AM): dont be sorry about that
Brandon Miles20 (11:05:19 AM): i wish it were different
shirtsXnXgloves (11:05:22 AM): me too
Brandon Miles20 (11:05:55 AM): haha
Brandon Miles20 (11:06:05 AM): so you prolly don't want to see me still tomorrow do you
Brandon Miles20 (11:07:31 AM): did you type something
Brandon Miles20 (11:07:32 AM): ?
shirtsXnXgloves (11:07:33 AM): haha
shirtsXnXgloves (11:07:33 AM): no
shirtsXnXgloves (11:07:36 AM): i was thinking
Brandon Miles20 (11:07:37 AM): i got booted again
shirtsXnXgloves (11:07:39 AM): haha
Brandon Miles20 (11:07:51 AM): its teh lame
Brandon Miles20 (11:12:37 AM): damn you must be typing a novel
Brandon Miles20 (11:12:38 AM): lol
shirtsXnXgloves (11:13:31 AM): i think maybe i shouldnt. that's not say i wont/dont want to ever. im sorry that i dont know what to do. i think i need to know he is gone completely. from my heart. because im not being fair to me or you. i feel like im trying to force something that can't be right now. im not saying im making myself like you ... i do like you very much just because of who you are.
shirtsXnXgloves (11:14:56 AM): does that make sense?
Brandon Miles20 (11:15:41 AM): yea it does
Brandon Miles20 (11:15:54 AM): sorry i for once don't know what to say
shirtsXnXgloves (11:16:04 AM): haha
shirtsXnXgloves (11:16:13 AM): you dont always have to know or have to say something
Brandon Miles20 (11:16:17 AM): i appreciate what your saying
shirtsXnXgloves (11:16:26 AM): i dont want this at all
Brandon Miles20 (11:16:32 AM): what?
shirtsXnXgloves (11:16:44 AM): this situation or situations
Brandon Miles20 (11:16:48 AM): lol
shirtsXnXgloves (11:16:50 AM): haha
Brandon Miles20 (11:18:37 AM): i don't want to lose you ( i know thats cheesy lol) but i don't want to miss my chance to see what happens with us
Brandon Miles20 (11:18:55 AM): buti guess it can't be helped
Brandon Miles20 (11:19:02 AM): if it'll happen
Brandon Miles20 (11:19:04 AM): it'll happen
shirtsXnXgloves (11:19:27 AM): i guess everything will
Brandon Miles20 (11:19:37 AM): true
Brandon Miles20 (11:19:47 AM): i'm suppose to learn something from this
Brandon Miles20 (11:19:48 AM): i know
Brandon Miles20 (11:19:53 AM): because i've been here before
shirtsXnXgloves (11:20:01 AM): haha
shirtsXnXgloves (11:20:03 AM): here?
Brandon Miles20 (11:20:14 AM): meet a girl im really into
Brandon Miles20 (11:20:17 AM): shes really into me
Brandon Miles20 (11:20:28 AM): but has a recent ex that shes not over yet
Brandon Miles20 (11:21:08 AM): i ended up giving up on them
shirtsXnXgloves (11:21:15 AM): i've been here before, but from my end.
Brandon Miles20 (11:21:20 AM): haha
Brandon Miles20 (11:21:31 AM): I've decided just now
Brandon Miles20 (11:21:36 AM): im not giving up on you
Brandon Miles20 (11:21:45 AM): or rather
Brandon Miles20 (11:21:47 AM): us
Brandon Miles20 (11:21:49 AM): idk
Brandon Miles20 (11:21:52 AM): that sounds lame
Brandon Miles20 (11:22:01 AM): i only known you 3 weeks now?
Brandon Miles20 (11:22:01 AM): lol
shirtsXnXgloves (11:23:16 AM): like, i dated a guy for years before and they changed there mind and changed their mind and i took them back and then changed their mind again... but then again. if you believe in karma, i guess i get what i give because i havent been the best to everyone either. it's kind of funny how every situation ends up being just about the same repeating itself, each time slighty different
shirtsXnXgloves (11:23:28 AM): haha
shirtsXnXgloves (11:23:47 AM): i understand if you do though
Brandon Miles20 (11:23:47 AM): until you do smething different
shirtsXnXgloves (11:23:50 AM): yeah
Brandon Miles20 (11:24:00 AM): you understand if what
Brandon Miles20 (11:24:03 AM): i give up on you
shirtsXnXgloves (11:24:10 AM): yeah
Brandon Miles20 (11:24:14 AM): i can't
Brandon Miles20 (11:24:39 AM): not this time
shirtsXnXgloves (11:25:22 AM): i'm afraid, im not going to do something different. i feel like that is wrong of me.
Brandon Miles20 (11:25:48 AM): do you want to do something different?
shirtsXnXgloves (11:26:41 AM): yes and no. i want to do something different because maybe it would break the cycle. but i can't really determine that that is what is going to happen
Brandon Miles20 (11:27:04 AM): you never know until you try and find out
shirtsXnXgloves (11:27:08 AM): but then i feel like i wouldnt be me, if i did something different
Brandon Miles20 (11:27:19 AM): yes you would be you
shirtsXnXgloves (11:27:23 AM): haha
Brandon Miles20 (11:27:26 AM): is that what you are afraid of
Brandon Miles20 (11:27:28 AM): thats it
Brandon Miles20 (11:27:39 AM): your afriad your going to lose who you are
Brandon Miles20 (11:27:49 AM): thats why you are afraid you wwon't leave the state
Brandon Miles20 (11:28:08 AM): that's wy you hold onto things
Brandon Miles20 (11:28:17 AM): the only thing that makes you is you
Brandon Miles20 (11:28:25 AM): life is a fluint thing
Brandon Miles20 (11:28:30 AM): we all change
Brandon Miles20 (11:28:33 AM): constantly
Brandon Miles20 (11:28:37 AM): its part of nature
shirtsXnXgloves (11:28:44 AM): i dont want to change
Brandon Miles20 (11:29:03 AM): what you are trying to do is hold onto a rock in the river of life, so you don't have to move
Brandon Miles20 (11:29:12 AM): why don't you want to change
Brandon Miles20 (11:29:18 AM): because you don't know what you'll be come?
shirtsXnXgloves (11:29:24 AM): yeah
Brandon Miles20 (11:29:41 AM): i can tell you from experience if you let go
Brandon Miles20 (11:29:54 AM): you'll become more aware and wise than you had been before
Brandon Miles20 (11:30:01 AM): life doesn't change you drastically
Brandon Miles20 (11:30:07 AM): and when it does change you
Brandon Miles20 (11:30:11 AM): you don't miss who you were
Brandon Miles20 (11:30:25 AM): i know its that initial fear of what you'll be
Brandon Miles20 (11:30:30 AM): like a fear of death
Brandon Miles20 (11:30:34 AM): but when you die
Brandon Miles20 (11:30:38 AM): you don't miss life
shirtsXnXgloves (11:30:41 AM): i want to i want to miss it
Brandon Miles20 (11:30:43 AM): cause you don't remember it
shirtsXnXgloves (11:30:49 AM): i dont want to forget
Brandon Miles20 (11:30:57 AM): you won't forget anything
Brandon Miles20 (11:31:00 AM): you'll evolve
shirtsXnXgloves (11:31:23 AM): i dont want to evolve
Brandon Miles20 (11:31:30 AM): you'll evolve stronger to make the desicions you need to to leave the state
Brandon Miles20 (11:31:39 AM): and pursue whatever dream you have
Brandon Miles20 (11:32:19 AM): so you don't want to leave the state, and pursue any of your dreams
Brandon Miles20 (11:32:25 AM): you want to keep those as dreams
Brandon Miles20 (11:32:30 AM): and not reality
shirtsXnXgloves (11:32:51 AM): kind of
shirtsXnXgloves (11:33:07 AM): haha
Brandon Miles20 (11:33:16 AM): but here at the rock nothing happens
Brandon Miles20 (11:33:19 AM): nothing changes
Brandon Miles20 (11:33:26 AM): you see everyone else going on with their lives
Brandon Miles20 (11:33:30 AM): onto new and exciting things
Brandon Miles20 (11:33:33 AM): and you are here
Brandon Miles20 (11:33:34 AM): stuck
Brandon Miles20 (11:33:39 AM): cause you won't let go
Brandon Miles20 (11:34:18 AM): my theory of accountability, the only thing that holds you back in life is you, you can't ever balme anything else for bad things that happen
shirtsXnXgloves (11:34:47 AM): okay, ive got to stop this conversation..
shirtsXnXgloves (11:34:49 AM): im sorry
shirtsXnXgloves (11:34:49 AM): haha
Brandon Miles20 (11:34:56 AM): sorry
shirtsXnXgloves (11:34:59 AM): its okay
Brandon Miles20 (11:34:59 AM): why?
shirtsXnXgloves (11:35:01 AM): haha
shirtsXnXgloves (11:35:06 AM): because im too emtional right now
Brandon Miles20 (11:35:13 AM): ok im sorry heather
shirtsXnXgloves (11:35:16 AM): haha
shirtsXnXgloves (11:35:18 AM): its okay
Brandon Miles20 (11:35:22 AM): no its not
Brandon Miles20 (11:35:25 AM): im being selfish
shirtsXnXgloves (11:35:29 AM): no
Brandon Miles20 (11:35:39 AM): yes
Brandon Miles20 (11:35:52 AM): cause here i am preaching about you letting go
Brandon Miles20 (11:36:06 AM): while im holding on to you
Brandon Miles20 (11:36:54 AM): haha
Brandon Miles20 (11:36:55 AM): BLAH!!
Brandon Miles20 (11:36:58 AM): don't mind it
shirtsXnXgloves (11:37:00 AM): haha
shirtsXnXgloves (11:37:19 AM): i think i need a break from talking for a little bit to get something to eat
Brandon Miles20 (11:37:24 AM): haha me too
Brandon Miles20 (11:37:31 AM): im sorry heather
shirtsXnXgloves (11:37:36 AM): dont be sorry...
shirtsXnXgloves (11:37:38 AM): really
Brandon Miles20 (11:37:40 AM): well i am
shirtsXnXgloves (11:37:43 AM): im not
shirtsXnXgloves (11:37:48 AM): i need to hear it
shirtsXnXgloves (11:37:51 AM): cause its true
shirtsXnXgloves (11:38:03 AM): but im just too scared right now
shirtsXnXgloves (11:38:07 AM): i cant handle it