(no subject)
ugh. im moving to my mom's tomorrow. i have too much shit and i dont know what i'm going to do with my damn couch. i want to keep it but i have no where to put it. i want to move with and in with johnny. he's moving into his brother's place instead of his friends which he was originally going to do. that kind of makes me a bit at ease. i dont know, im silly. i guess it just seems safer for him. i guess i just see him saving more money that way or not be too hectic. not that he can't take care of himself or anything like that. i didnt mean it like that. i just worry about him.
so he's moving in with his brother until he can find a place. i wish i could find a place with him. i know we're still young though and that is a commitment he doesn't want to make in his life right now. which is completely understandable. i get scared and nervous he's going to spend time with his ex. he probably will. that's fine. it's not my place and even if we still had a label, i would get really jealous but i would trust him. i guess if he does hang out with her, i'm hoping that it would just make him want me more. look at me...god i feel so selfish. but i'm just thinking. i just want him to feel the same about me because i love him so damn much.
he might be getting a job down there and moving in a few weeks instead of january. i hope he does get the job because it's what he's working towards. it will make him happy and more at ease for himself. that makes me more at ease. im nervous about him moving. i don't know why. i want everything to be okay with him, regardless of me. i'm nervous of what's going to happen to us. not that there is an us technically, but... i'm hoping the distance will not be a problem. i'm hoping he'll miss me. i hope he does me. my pictures are still there on his myspace and i'm not his top eight, as gay as that is. it's kind of funny how predominate myspace has become. but it makes me know im sitll there in the slightest way. that makes me happy. it gives me hope. i know that at any minute my hope could be destroyed. that's something i'm willing to deal with. god, i love him.
so he's moving in with his brother until he can find a place. i wish i could find a place with him. i know we're still young though and that is a commitment he doesn't want to make in his life right now. which is completely understandable. i get scared and nervous he's going to spend time with his ex. he probably will. that's fine. it's not my place and even if we still had a label, i would get really jealous but i would trust him. i guess if he does hang out with her, i'm hoping that it would just make him want me more. look at me...god i feel so selfish. but i'm just thinking. i just want him to feel the same about me because i love him so damn much.
he might be getting a job down there and moving in a few weeks instead of january. i hope he does get the job because it's what he's working towards. it will make him happy and more at ease for himself. that makes me more at ease. im nervous about him moving. i don't know why. i want everything to be okay with him, regardless of me. i'm nervous of what's going to happen to us. not that there is an us technically, but... i'm hoping the distance will not be a problem. i'm hoping he'll miss me. i hope he does me. my pictures are still there on his myspace and i'm not his top eight, as gay as that is. it's kind of funny how predominate myspace has become. but it makes me know im sitll there in the slightest way. that makes me happy. it gives me hope. i know that at any minute my hope could be destroyed. that's something i'm willing to deal with. god, i love him.