Actors or Eccentrics? Three weirdo internet celebs who may or may not be actors:
It goes without saying that it's hard to gauge a person's real reactions while on the internet. When all you see is a computer screen, chances are you won't be getting an accurate read on their emotions. This is why 90% of all online romantic relationships fail. So naturally it seems that it would be easier to get a handle on a person if you saw them in a video or heard them in a sound byte. But is it?
Not quite...
Take the infamous lonelygirl15 web series, everyone was positive it was a real-life chronicle. It was not. It's a given that young or unorthodox artists/performers would be drawn to the internet like moths to candlelight, combine this with the natural tendency(and easily achievable)tendency people have on the internet to fabricate a second life for themselves, and you can be certain that a lot of the internet's more bizzare denizens are in actuality elabroate hoaxes.
A good 90% of ''trolls'' are this way as well. While trolls and their actions are undeniably real, the vast majority are merely idiots(usually troll-bait themselves) who are trying to avoid embarrassing themselves. A fellow I once encountered on the Batman & Robin board on IMDb who got called out on his ludicriously stupid and nonsensical defense of the film(he clearly was dead serious, as his past posts and posts on other websites, some dating back years and years, proved) once tried to pull the "it was all a hoax" trick himself after he himself got trolled by me and a friend. His tenuous grasp of internet lingo and lousy attempts at acting like he was in control of the situation were genuinely hilarious, and it was obvious most of what he learned about the trolling subculture was learned only recently from being perplexed by, and then looking up, internet slang I had used. His attempts to look like he was "down" with troll websites like Encyclopedia Dramatica and that he had always known the meanings of the words he used were the equivalent of watching a white kid acting black; obnoxious, but cute in a pitiful sort of way.
So while most hoaxers, and idiots who wish they were hoaxers(I shall call what they do "LOL I TROL U" syndrome), can be uncovered by anyone with a good understanding of human nature and acting technique, there are some internet celebs who are just perplexing. Take these three examples:
1) Coppercab.
Domain: Youtube.
Specialty: Whining about the mistreatments of "gingers".
Info uncovered: His name is Michael. He apparently is involved in his community church. He and people he knows are definitely aware of his online fame. He claims to be a devout christian.
Crowning achievement: Being mocked in a fake-trailer for a South Park episode.
Catchphrase: "Gingers do have souls!"
Catchexpressions: "WWOOOOBBBBOOBBLLOO" Various incomprehensible noises and grunts.
Mini Bio: Michael claims to have been bullied at school as the result of a South Park episode. The episode in question involved villain Eric Cartman's personal dehumanization of red-haired, freckled people, or "gingers", and subsequent march for "ginger" superiority after being made into one. The episode in question was mocking such bigotry("ginger" is an anagram for "nigger"), but sadly inspired some young people to adopt the term in real life, when it had previously been mainly used to describe cats. For once, the moral guardians were right, the episode did inspire bullying of "gingers" in real life. While those in question misinterpreted the episode, the fact remains that stuff like his does happen.
Thing is, that episode was broadcast five years ago. Michael's video seemed to be railing against it like it was a recent thing. Somehow thinking that the video would be the solution to his bully problem, he posted it on youtube. His screaming, bizzare vocal inflections and noises, faulty logic, mangled english and headscratchingly bizzare non sequitirs("Why can't I call black people mexicans?!") made his video a viral hit amongst trolls, it inspired parodies within hours, one of which actually recieved more views than the original. Although aware of his status as a(negative) meme, Michael continues to take it in stride after befriending a troll named ishatonu. He's even favorited several parodies.
However, his videos have taken a disturbing twist recently. Michael now seems to not care about the internet after being mocked in a fake teaser for a South Park episode. Thinking he now has power, Michael has begun acting like a messiah for "gingers" and often uses phrases like "my people". Possible messiah complex? Or did his little parody on SP inspire him to put his smug bastard face on?
Evidence he's an actor: To begin with, doesn't it seem odd that even though his entire schtick was apparently inspired by a desire to end use of the term "ginger", and apparently objected to being called that, that he uses the term himself and as a collective term for "his people"? It's common for people to turn taunts into boasts, but Michael doesn't seem mature enough to do that, if he was, he wouldn't be making these videos. Also, his anger in several videos is obviously exxaggerated for dramatic effect. Even if he was genuinely angry, he clearly tries to make it seem more extreme. Third, he thrives, just thrives on attention that he recieves. He's favorited several parodies, seems to be choking back laughter or amusement in the video where he reacts to SP's parody of him, and his speeches about equality are obviously ham-handed, insincere and flubbed. He also seemed genuinely offended by video's specualting he was a troll or had committed suicide; possible sign of an actor not wanting to give up his act so soon? He clearly has been practicing this beforehand, a sign of an actor, or at least insincerity or shyness. Actor or not, no one who would try and set himself up as a messiah could possibly be shy unless they posessed actual supernatural powers. He also shows a lack of timing, often reacting to things much too late, for example, he took several days to respond to the SP parody. Possible sign of rehearsal? Several of his videos also seem to contradict each other, once claiming that his friends have all left him, then claiming he's going to see a movie with some. Possible slip?
As final evidence, not only does he appear to have a cameraman in some, if not all, his videos, but he's selling merchandise.
Evidence he's sincere: He's an extreme christian apparently, so it's possible that his attempts to make peace with trolls and people who've abandoned him are simply his way of "turning the other cheek". That, or he wants to use the videos as legal evidence of some sort. His lack of actual research into South Park history could simply be that he misunderstands the show and doesn't watch it, but bitches about it anyway, a common tactic of christians when attempting to protest something. He also obviously isn't too bright, as his faulty logic shows, so he probably did think this could be successfull at one point. The mechandise could be something he wants to use to finance a "ginger church" or something. Egomaniacs with messiah complexes are like that. Look at Jim Jones.
My guess: He was sincere at first, but is now thinking he can troll people now or profit from this by making it into a Colbert-style comedy act, just a case of 'LOL I TROL U" syndrome.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EY39fkmqKBM
2) Christianu2ber aka Angry Homo Kid.
Domain: Youtube.
Specialty: "Teaching" christian values.
Info uncovered: His name is Scott Parsons. He lives in Texas. He lives in an attic. His parents and friends are apparently abusive or just stupid. He has some crude version of photoshop. Has some surprisingly non-christian interests like death metal, "emo" music and violent video games.
Crowning achievement: His case reached actual police and had minor news coverage, apparently just on the internet. A clip of him appeared in a popular remix of the ''Numa Numa'' song along with other internet celebs.
Catchphrase: "STOP CALLING ME A HOMO!"
Catchexpressions: AAARRRGHHHH! *Sniffle*
Mini Bio: Scott gained access to a computer of his own sometime in late 2008 and a youtube account was quickly formed, but nothing was uploaded for nearly a year. In the summer of 2009, Scott started posting videos to form a vlog on Youtube, but experienced several technical difficulties because apparently he was unable to use a webcam and just couldn't use the computer in general. He was relatively ignored, until he posted a bizzare video screaming at people not to call him a "homo" that was taken down only a few hours later. He followed it up with a video on the ''evils'' of homosexuality, that drew flack from several LGBT vloggers, then followed it up with a virtually identical video to the one taken down. In it, he mentioned that his videos were being parodied and edited and that he "would not have it!" and blamed a person with an indetermined name. This shot him from obscurity to infamy virtually overnight. Several videos, ranging from death threats against trolls, to bizzare attempts at comedy and lip-synching followed before his account was deleted, apparently through the intervention of a concerned LGBT blogger. He apparently returned, but has so far posted only innocuous and bizzare videos. I was lucky enough to have followed him from the beginning, I was one of the people who tried to give him webcam tutorials.
Evidence he's an actor: To begin with, his videos were rarely seen or commented on for a while. What responses he did get were either kindly tutorials on how to set up his webcam better, or just chain messages/spam. Some insults, but no "homo" remarks. But then the first "stop calling me a homo" video was uploaded. At this point, and judging by the dates of the comments, hardly anyone seemed to care, no comments were posted, and it was removed within hours. Then the homophobia videos came in, which sparked off his first regular responses and commentors.
Even then, most of the offended persons were considerate and their criticisms were tasteful. He then uploaded the infamous second "Stop Calling me a Homo" video. Why? No one, as far as I could see, had called him such a name, or insulted him to that effect, that would inspire such a reaction. And why, of all things, did he mention remixes and parodies when there weren't any(yet)? And why would he remake a video where he said the same things, before anyone had ever really given him any kind of response at all? Pretty damning evidence of acting/rehearsing. Also, he later uploaded a crude but relatively elaborate Star Wars themed video remix showing skillfull use of photoshop and Windows Moviemaker. He also made a corny, but genuinely skillfull lip-synch of a My Chemical Romance song. If a kid who only a week earlier could barely use a webcam and displayed a lack of understanding to the extent that he didn't even know what a browser was, how could he do/learn that if he was supposedly being constantly harrassed? Fishy.
He also blames a person named....well, I'm not sure, who he blames. The name given in the infamous "Stop calling me" video sounds like either Luke Swimmer, Luke Schwimmer, Duke Webber, Blue Swimmer, Blue Summer(the generally accepted name among fans), Bloosummer, bluesummer and dozens of various spelling variations of same names. The Star Wars video, as well as the "Luke" theory even lead some to believe the bully's alias was Luke Skywalker! Apparently he had been sending Scott private messages under the guise of friendship but then turned on him and called him a "homo". Pretty nasty prank to play on Scott, I admit, but if it's true, why did Scott care? It was in a private message no one else could see, so why worry about it? If it was a comment or video where Luke/Blue/Whatever called him the name, then it must have been removed quick, probably by Scott himself, probably by disabling the comments or marking it as spam or flagging the video.
But if that were the case, why didn't he do this to all of the other subsequent comments that supposedly upset him? I hate to say this, but if Scott was telling the truth, his handling of the problem was extremely stupid. Unless of course, it was a hoax. Even if he panicked, wouldn't he be smart enough to realize that there would be no reason to react once he'd taken care of the problem? Various attempts to locate Luke/Blue's account subsequently only uncovered parody accounts. One, which is still up, and the most likely suspect, seems even more bizzare that it would be left up, considering how thorough the sweeping of Scott's enemies by youtube administrators were. Why leave the main bully's account up? Because it's probably Scotts. Several other things that bug me about Scott's videos are his comedy videos. Why try and entertain an audience that hates you? Odd. I also find it bizzare how Scott seemed to alternate shirts at first, but remained in the same black one after he became "famous". Possible sign of him trying to create a "look" for his character? Also, some of his ramblings sound like bad dialogue spoken by an unskilled method actor("Well, uh, I really hate you!", "You'll all be sorry, imbeciles!").
Evidence he's sincere: Wow. The anguish in his voice is just so....real. And a lot of his more bizzare statements("I used to be gay"), which raise as much questions as they do answers seem to show that he's had a rather harsh life, and don't feel like written or spontaneous dialogue, it's real ranting. He also cries several times. It's entirely possible too that he's just stupid, explaining why he overreacted and didn't seek the painfully obvious solution. His comedy videos simply could just be a last-ditch effort or an attempt to pull an "LOL I TROL U". If I was his age, I'd be pretty desperate to try anything as well. The real Bluesummer could also have deleted his own account as well.
My guess: He's an elaborate child method actor. It was an attempt at a stealth-parody video series or an attempt to create a "so ignorant he's cute" character, however, he was so convincing in the role that he eventually realized that no one would believe him when he revealed himself to be an actor, and became depressed over the fact that he would always be remembered as "Homo Kid". Or he became his character mentally and can never revert, and thus the comments really hurt him because he had really become an "angry homo kid". If so, let's hope that he never regains his memories, because he might use his acting abilities to become a real life version of one of those supervillains who impersonates people....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qR-0x9QOWfE
1) Chris Chan.
Domain: Youtube, cogsdev.org, formerly mySPACE and Deviantart and several webcomic hosting sites.
Specialty: Attempting to shill out his Sonichu (don't ask what it is, just read on), seeking out "boyfriend-free girls"(don't ask), uploading the most mentally-scarring youtube videos ever concieved by man or beast. Displaying his lack of understanding of human biology in the most nauseous ways imaginable.
Info uncovered: He has an entire website devoted to chronicling his bizzare habits. Read it there. It's crass, disgusting, reads at times like a nazi course on how to dehumanize someone in your mind's eye, never gives him a chance, displays glaring hypocrisy and nasty pro-troll-biased articles......but everything, and I mean everything, is true to the letter:
http://cogsdev.org/
Crowning Achievement: Videos of his have made G4's Web Soup show, he's been covered by two radio stations, and he frequently leaps in front of news cameras for attention.
Catchphrase: "CURSE YE-HA-ME-HAAAAA!!!"
Catchexpressions: "Uhhh", *weeeeezee*, "duh-duh", "errrrrrr".
Mini-Bio: Oh man....to put it simply, Chris is a rejected Simpson's character submitted by Bill Maher & David Lynch after they watched a few too many John Waters movies that has somehow wandered into the real world. He feels like every ludicrous negative stereotype you could possibly conjure up about fanboys that was rejected as a concept for being too cruel to the fans or just being too cartoonish. Even the Simpson's Comic Book Guy, for all of the jokes made about him, has gotten laid, has a job and is portrayed as highly intelligent. He's also....well, let's just say the character is more successfull than Chris ever will be.
He's a fat, lazy and selfish egomaniac living with his elderly, morbidly obese mother, far more elderly and dangerously unhinged father(both of whom have had serious health issues and attacks as of recently), a room full of action figures and sex toys, several cats who have been filmed pissing and shitting everywhere, all in a house in Virginia which is just a few insects away from being Hoarders-level material. He sadly uses his autism(yes) as an excuse for his lifestyle and as a means of garnering sympathy and goverment money so that he can buy video games.
Chris first came to the internet's attention in 2006, when several pages from a poorly drawn webcomic showed up in image searches, featuring a disjointed looking hybrid between Sonic the Hedgehog and Pikachu from Pokemon called Sonichu. Or at least, it was allegedly about Sonichu, most of the comic seemed to feature the exploits of a human character called Chris Chan, a mayor who battled mall security(???). Villains were either oddly or childishly named("merried seinor comic", "Count Graduon") or had names which sounded amazingly close to reality(such as ''Mary Lee Walsh'' and ''Wes Iseli''). The strip fluctuated tones jarringly, appeared to be drawn by a young child, and was filled with pointless pop cultural references, bizzarre allusions to autism, racist and sexist elements, horriffic bursts of violence, had horrible continuity, derivative characters and storylines coupled with incredibly weak attempts at humor.
To put it simply, it read like something found in a serial killer's childhood posessions.
Most people either brushed it off as a typical horrid webcomic, but others who actually had the guts to read full issues were, to put it mildly, disturbed by how odd it was. Some considered it a parody, others called it a social experiment, others theorized it was the work of a troll, or that it was a bizzare in-joke among friends, or something someone had done on drugs or as a kid that their friends or family had posted online to embarass them. One poster on a comics forum came up with the whimsical theory that it was done by an adult from a script by a child, whose odd imagination inspired the author to have fun with the child's ideas and use them to create a surrealist masterwork. This method was actually used some time later to create an amusing flash animation series called Axe Cop & Dinosaur Soldier. But alas, that was not the truth.
The truth, eventually gleaned in late 2007 from encounters with the author on 4-chan after a dispute over mock fan-art, could not have been more disturbing.
The comic was drawn by Christian Weston Chandler, of Ruckersville, Virignia. Chandler's obsession with obtaining "china"(his euphemism for "vagina") after being rejected by his childhood friend in high school, had led him to loiter around on campuses, malls and bus terminals with a sign proclaiming, well...
This led to several conflicts with mall security, local policemen and the dean of the local community college. His subsequent banning from the local malls and college led him to create the comic as a tool for his revenge, where he either maimed or killed his enemies in order to settle the score and make readers, paticularly females, pity him and then come to his house and put out. The "Sonichu" character and label was just a trojan horse scheme to disguise the comic's personal nature. Crazy as this is, it got even weirder when Chandler revealed that he believed he had an enormous fan-base numbering in the millions and that video game companies would come to his house any day now to negotiate royalties for Sonichu!
Various other facts about him became known, such as the identities of more characters in the comics, as well as just how disturbing Chandler's personal life was, such as when he continually sexually harrassed a woman from a local game store who attempted to befriend him and who had come to see him as a close friend who could support her in times of need, anectdotes about his racist and homophobic behavior, various sexual fetishes he felt the need to reveal online in youtube videos apparently aimed at children(whom he continually insists are the target audience of his comic, even though he's drawn graphic violence and sex in it), his attempt to blackmail his estranged half-brother(film reviewer Cole Smithey, a man whom I've had the pleasure to meet once at Cannes)into voting for him in a contest, his ludicrous revenge schemes when he lost said contest, and his extreme gullibility towards trolls who decided to harass him, one of whom tricked him into giving them his family photo album, another of whom almost got him in a position to fly to Japan, and one who convinced him, up until relatively recently, that the head troll was a supervillain named the Man in a Pickle Suit. It's also come to light recently that he literally believes his sonichu characters are real.
As horrible as the troll's treatment of Chris has been, what's even more amazing is how he continually digs himself deeper into further trouble that leads to him debasing himself in ways that don't involve or were influenced by the trolls at all. His most infamous video was one where he revealed he took a certain old wive's tale literally, and his method of dealing with it, caught on camera, propelled him to internet superstardom. For the sake of your mental health, I won't go into any further details except by saying that I'll never drink Fanta again. Other, less disturbing videos of note involve him losing a singing contest with a youtube impersonator who claimed that Chris was an impostor named Ian Brandon Anderson and that he was the real deal. Disturbingly, the impostor was exactly everything Chris portrays himself in the comic as. Another memorable video(of which thankfully only the audio remains) was when Chris's father walked in on him masturbating and his father's reaction, wherein his father tried to turn off the computer, but phrased it in a manner that implied he would literally cut the computer down with an ax. Thus was born the "Internet Lumberjack" meme. Chris has been relatively dormant as of late after attempting to shut down a comic parodying his comic, but everyone knows he will be back sooner or later.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsyhCUYJoI8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ty4bLUifoaw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uivpFPC8yOc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4EJxuCHAwxM&feature=related
I could go on for hours, but let me end this simply by saying that Chris not only has stated he will never leave his house, but that he is approaching 30. His parents are in their early 80's and late 60's.
I would also like to add that I feel no hatred for this man, for autistics(despite encounters with some) and that I do not support his trolls. All I can say is that once you've read one factoid about Chris, you end up haunted for life. In 50 years, he will rank with Emperor Norton, Edgar Cayce, Rasputin and Cagliostro as one of history's all time great weird "characters". In other words, Chris's exploits have replaced "train wrecks" as a euphemism for horrible things you can't help but watch.
Oh, and about the "CURSE YE HA-ME-HA!" thing? He thinks that shouting that phrase in real life curses his enemies and brings him good luck. He once used it on the local police. In public. He also calls all police "jerkops". Really. Next time I run into my old pal Deputy Dipshit, I'll be sure to call him that.
Evidence he's an actor: None, really. But would you honestly think he's a real person after reading that Bio without seeing any proof? For the record, some of the ideas that have been touted as irrevocable proof of his reality are kinda faulty, but it's still highly unlikely he's an actor.
Evidence he's sincere: Several news reports predating the internet, first-hand accounts from locals before he ever became famous, the ludicrously elaborate means through which he would have had to go to set this up, and several failed "LOL I TROL U!" attempts he has already pulled.
My guess: To quote the sole surviving character of the slasher film Madman: "He's real".
So I hope you enjoyed my look into the wild and wacky denizens of the internet. As for me, I now am going to go dunk my head in acid. Bye.
Not quite...
Take the infamous lonelygirl15 web series, everyone was positive it was a real-life chronicle. It was not. It's a given that young or unorthodox artists/performers would be drawn to the internet like moths to candlelight, combine this with the natural tendency(and easily achievable)tendency people have on the internet to fabricate a second life for themselves, and you can be certain that a lot of the internet's more bizzare denizens are in actuality elabroate hoaxes.
A good 90% of ''trolls'' are this way as well. While trolls and their actions are undeniably real, the vast majority are merely idiots(usually troll-bait themselves) who are trying to avoid embarrassing themselves. A fellow I once encountered on the Batman & Robin board on IMDb who got called out on his ludicriously stupid and nonsensical defense of the film(he clearly was dead serious, as his past posts and posts on other websites, some dating back years and years, proved) once tried to pull the "it was all a hoax" trick himself after he himself got trolled by me and a friend. His tenuous grasp of internet lingo and lousy attempts at acting like he was in control of the situation were genuinely hilarious, and it was obvious most of what he learned about the trolling subculture was learned only recently from being perplexed by, and then looking up, internet slang I had used. His attempts to look like he was "down" with troll websites like Encyclopedia Dramatica and that he had always known the meanings of the words he used were the equivalent of watching a white kid acting black; obnoxious, but cute in a pitiful sort of way.
So while most hoaxers, and idiots who wish they were hoaxers(I shall call what they do "LOL I TROL U" syndrome), can be uncovered by anyone with a good understanding of human nature and acting technique, there are some internet celebs who are just perplexing. Take these three examples:
1) Coppercab.
Domain: Youtube.
Specialty: Whining about the mistreatments of "gingers".
Info uncovered: His name is Michael. He apparently is involved in his community church. He and people he knows are definitely aware of his online fame. He claims to be a devout christian.
Crowning achievement: Being mocked in a fake-trailer for a South Park episode.
Catchphrase: "Gingers do have souls!"
Catchexpressions: "WWOOOOBBBBOOBBLLOO" Various incomprehensible noises and grunts.
Mini Bio: Michael claims to have been bullied at school as the result of a South Park episode. The episode in question involved villain Eric Cartman's personal dehumanization of red-haired, freckled people, or "gingers", and subsequent march for "ginger" superiority after being made into one. The episode in question was mocking such bigotry("ginger" is an anagram for "nigger"), but sadly inspired some young people to adopt the term in real life, when it had previously been mainly used to describe cats. For once, the moral guardians were right, the episode did inspire bullying of "gingers" in real life. While those in question misinterpreted the episode, the fact remains that stuff like his does happen.
Thing is, that episode was broadcast five years ago. Michael's video seemed to be railing against it like it was a recent thing. Somehow thinking that the video would be the solution to his bully problem, he posted it on youtube. His screaming, bizzare vocal inflections and noises, faulty logic, mangled english and headscratchingly bizzare non sequitirs("Why can't I call black people mexicans?!") made his video a viral hit amongst trolls, it inspired parodies within hours, one of which actually recieved more views than the original. Although aware of his status as a(negative) meme, Michael continues to take it in stride after befriending a troll named ishatonu. He's even favorited several parodies.
However, his videos have taken a disturbing twist recently. Michael now seems to not care about the internet after being mocked in a fake teaser for a South Park episode. Thinking he now has power, Michael has begun acting like a messiah for "gingers" and often uses phrases like "my people". Possible messiah complex? Or did his little parody on SP inspire him to put his smug bastard face on?
Evidence he's an actor: To begin with, doesn't it seem odd that even though his entire schtick was apparently inspired by a desire to end use of the term "ginger", and apparently objected to being called that, that he uses the term himself and as a collective term for "his people"? It's common for people to turn taunts into boasts, but Michael doesn't seem mature enough to do that, if he was, he wouldn't be making these videos. Also, his anger in several videos is obviously exxaggerated for dramatic effect. Even if he was genuinely angry, he clearly tries to make it seem more extreme. Third, he thrives, just thrives on attention that he recieves. He's favorited several parodies, seems to be choking back laughter or amusement in the video where he reacts to SP's parody of him, and his speeches about equality are obviously ham-handed, insincere and flubbed. He also seemed genuinely offended by video's specualting he was a troll or had committed suicide; possible sign of an actor not wanting to give up his act so soon? He clearly has been practicing this beforehand, a sign of an actor, or at least insincerity or shyness. Actor or not, no one who would try and set himself up as a messiah could possibly be shy unless they posessed actual supernatural powers. He also shows a lack of timing, often reacting to things much too late, for example, he took several days to respond to the SP parody. Possible sign of rehearsal? Several of his videos also seem to contradict each other, once claiming that his friends have all left him, then claiming he's going to see a movie with some. Possible slip?
As final evidence, not only does he appear to have a cameraman in some, if not all, his videos, but he's selling merchandise.
Evidence he's sincere: He's an extreme christian apparently, so it's possible that his attempts to make peace with trolls and people who've abandoned him are simply his way of "turning the other cheek". That, or he wants to use the videos as legal evidence of some sort. His lack of actual research into South Park history could simply be that he misunderstands the show and doesn't watch it, but bitches about it anyway, a common tactic of christians when attempting to protest something. He also obviously isn't too bright, as his faulty logic shows, so he probably did think this could be successfull at one point. The mechandise could be something he wants to use to finance a "ginger church" or something. Egomaniacs with messiah complexes are like that. Look at Jim Jones.
My guess: He was sincere at first, but is now thinking he can troll people now or profit from this by making it into a Colbert-style comedy act, just a case of 'LOL I TROL U" syndrome.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EY39fkmqKBM
2) Christianu2ber aka Angry Homo Kid.
Domain: Youtube.
Specialty: "Teaching" christian values.
Info uncovered: His name is Scott Parsons. He lives in Texas. He lives in an attic. His parents and friends are apparently abusive or just stupid. He has some crude version of photoshop. Has some surprisingly non-christian interests like death metal, "emo" music and violent video games.
Crowning achievement: His case reached actual police and had minor news coverage, apparently just on the internet. A clip of him appeared in a popular remix of the ''Numa Numa'' song along with other internet celebs.
Catchphrase: "STOP CALLING ME A HOMO!"
Catchexpressions: AAARRRGHHHH! *Sniffle*
Mini Bio: Scott gained access to a computer of his own sometime in late 2008 and a youtube account was quickly formed, but nothing was uploaded for nearly a year. In the summer of 2009, Scott started posting videos to form a vlog on Youtube, but experienced several technical difficulties because apparently he was unable to use a webcam and just couldn't use the computer in general. He was relatively ignored, until he posted a bizzare video screaming at people not to call him a "homo" that was taken down only a few hours later. He followed it up with a video on the ''evils'' of homosexuality, that drew flack from several LGBT vloggers, then followed it up with a virtually identical video to the one taken down. In it, he mentioned that his videos were being parodied and edited and that he "would not have it!" and blamed a person with an indetermined name. This shot him from obscurity to infamy virtually overnight. Several videos, ranging from death threats against trolls, to bizzare attempts at comedy and lip-synching followed before his account was deleted, apparently through the intervention of a concerned LGBT blogger. He apparently returned, but has so far posted only innocuous and bizzare videos. I was lucky enough to have followed him from the beginning, I was one of the people who tried to give him webcam tutorials.
Evidence he's an actor: To begin with, his videos were rarely seen or commented on for a while. What responses he did get were either kindly tutorials on how to set up his webcam better, or just chain messages/spam. Some insults, but no "homo" remarks. But then the first "stop calling me a homo" video was uploaded. At this point, and judging by the dates of the comments, hardly anyone seemed to care, no comments were posted, and it was removed within hours. Then the homophobia videos came in, which sparked off his first regular responses and commentors.
Even then, most of the offended persons were considerate and their criticisms were tasteful. He then uploaded the infamous second "Stop Calling me a Homo" video. Why? No one, as far as I could see, had called him such a name, or insulted him to that effect, that would inspire such a reaction. And why, of all things, did he mention remixes and parodies when there weren't any(yet)? And why would he remake a video where he said the same things, before anyone had ever really given him any kind of response at all? Pretty damning evidence of acting/rehearsing. Also, he later uploaded a crude but relatively elaborate Star Wars themed video remix showing skillfull use of photoshop and Windows Moviemaker. He also made a corny, but genuinely skillfull lip-synch of a My Chemical Romance song. If a kid who only a week earlier could barely use a webcam and displayed a lack of understanding to the extent that he didn't even know what a browser was, how could he do/learn that if he was supposedly being constantly harrassed? Fishy.
He also blames a person named....well, I'm not sure, who he blames. The name given in the infamous "Stop calling me" video sounds like either Luke Swimmer, Luke Schwimmer, Duke Webber, Blue Swimmer, Blue Summer(the generally accepted name among fans), Bloosummer, bluesummer and dozens of various spelling variations of same names. The Star Wars video, as well as the "Luke" theory even lead some to believe the bully's alias was Luke Skywalker! Apparently he had been sending Scott private messages under the guise of friendship but then turned on him and called him a "homo". Pretty nasty prank to play on Scott, I admit, but if it's true, why did Scott care? It was in a private message no one else could see, so why worry about it? If it was a comment or video where Luke/Blue/Whatever called him the name, then it must have been removed quick, probably by Scott himself, probably by disabling the comments or marking it as spam or flagging the video.
But if that were the case, why didn't he do this to all of the other subsequent comments that supposedly upset him? I hate to say this, but if Scott was telling the truth, his handling of the problem was extremely stupid. Unless of course, it was a hoax. Even if he panicked, wouldn't he be smart enough to realize that there would be no reason to react once he'd taken care of the problem? Various attempts to locate Luke/Blue's account subsequently only uncovered parody accounts. One, which is still up, and the most likely suspect, seems even more bizzare that it would be left up, considering how thorough the sweeping of Scott's enemies by youtube administrators were. Why leave the main bully's account up? Because it's probably Scotts. Several other things that bug me about Scott's videos are his comedy videos. Why try and entertain an audience that hates you? Odd. I also find it bizzare how Scott seemed to alternate shirts at first, but remained in the same black one after he became "famous". Possible sign of him trying to create a "look" for his character? Also, some of his ramblings sound like bad dialogue spoken by an unskilled method actor("Well, uh, I really hate you!", "You'll all be sorry, imbeciles!").
Evidence he's sincere: Wow. The anguish in his voice is just so....real. And a lot of his more bizzare statements("I used to be gay"), which raise as much questions as they do answers seem to show that he's had a rather harsh life, and don't feel like written or spontaneous dialogue, it's real ranting. He also cries several times. It's entirely possible too that he's just stupid, explaining why he overreacted and didn't seek the painfully obvious solution. His comedy videos simply could just be a last-ditch effort or an attempt to pull an "LOL I TROL U". If I was his age, I'd be pretty desperate to try anything as well. The real Bluesummer could also have deleted his own account as well.
My guess: He's an elaborate child method actor. It was an attempt at a stealth-parody video series or an attempt to create a "so ignorant he's cute" character, however, he was so convincing in the role that he eventually realized that no one would believe him when he revealed himself to be an actor, and became depressed over the fact that he would always be remembered as "Homo Kid". Or he became his character mentally and can never revert, and thus the comments really hurt him because he had really become an "angry homo kid". If so, let's hope that he never regains his memories, because he might use his acting abilities to become a real life version of one of those supervillains who impersonates people....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qR-0x9QOWfE
1) Chris Chan.
Domain: Youtube, cogsdev.org, formerly mySPACE and Deviantart and several webcomic hosting sites.
Specialty: Attempting to shill out his Sonichu (don't ask what it is, just read on), seeking out "boyfriend-free girls"(don't ask), uploading the most mentally-scarring youtube videos ever concieved by man or beast. Displaying his lack of understanding of human biology in the most nauseous ways imaginable.
Info uncovered: He has an entire website devoted to chronicling his bizzare habits. Read it there. It's crass, disgusting, reads at times like a nazi course on how to dehumanize someone in your mind's eye, never gives him a chance, displays glaring hypocrisy and nasty pro-troll-biased articles......but everything, and I mean everything, is true to the letter:
http://cogsdev.org/
Crowning Achievement: Videos of his have made G4's Web Soup show, he's been covered by two radio stations, and he frequently leaps in front of news cameras for attention.
Catchphrase: "CURSE YE-HA-ME-HAAAAA!!!"
Catchexpressions: "Uhhh", *weeeeezee*, "duh-duh", "errrrrrr".
Mini-Bio: Oh man....to put it simply, Chris is a rejected Simpson's character submitted by Bill Maher & David Lynch after they watched a few too many John Waters movies that has somehow wandered into the real world. He feels like every ludicrous negative stereotype you could possibly conjure up about fanboys that was rejected as a concept for being too cruel to the fans or just being too cartoonish. Even the Simpson's Comic Book Guy, for all of the jokes made about him, has gotten laid, has a job and is portrayed as highly intelligent. He's also....well, let's just say the character is more successfull than Chris ever will be.
He's a fat, lazy and selfish egomaniac living with his elderly, morbidly obese mother, far more elderly and dangerously unhinged father(both of whom have had serious health issues and attacks as of recently), a room full of action figures and sex toys, several cats who have been filmed pissing and shitting everywhere, all in a house in Virginia which is just a few insects away from being Hoarders-level material. He sadly uses his autism(yes) as an excuse for his lifestyle and as a means of garnering sympathy and goverment money so that he can buy video games.
Chris first came to the internet's attention in 2006, when several pages from a poorly drawn webcomic showed up in image searches, featuring a disjointed looking hybrid between Sonic the Hedgehog and Pikachu from Pokemon called Sonichu. Or at least, it was allegedly about Sonichu, most of the comic seemed to feature the exploits of a human character called Chris Chan, a mayor who battled mall security(???). Villains were either oddly or childishly named("merried seinor comic", "Count Graduon") or had names which sounded amazingly close to reality(such as ''Mary Lee Walsh'' and ''Wes Iseli''). The strip fluctuated tones jarringly, appeared to be drawn by a young child, and was filled with pointless pop cultural references, bizzarre allusions to autism, racist and sexist elements, horriffic bursts of violence, had horrible continuity, derivative characters and storylines coupled with incredibly weak attempts at humor.
To put it simply, it read like something found in a serial killer's childhood posessions.
Most people either brushed it off as a typical horrid webcomic, but others who actually had the guts to read full issues were, to put it mildly, disturbed by how odd it was. Some considered it a parody, others called it a social experiment, others theorized it was the work of a troll, or that it was a bizzare in-joke among friends, or something someone had done on drugs or as a kid that their friends or family had posted online to embarass them. One poster on a comics forum came up with the whimsical theory that it was done by an adult from a script by a child, whose odd imagination inspired the author to have fun with the child's ideas and use them to create a surrealist masterwork. This method was actually used some time later to create an amusing flash animation series called Axe Cop & Dinosaur Soldier. But alas, that was not the truth.
The truth, eventually gleaned in late 2007 from encounters with the author on 4-chan after a dispute over mock fan-art, could not have been more disturbing.
The comic was drawn by Christian Weston Chandler, of Ruckersville, Virignia. Chandler's obsession with obtaining "china"(his euphemism for "vagina") after being rejected by his childhood friend in high school, had led him to loiter around on campuses, malls and bus terminals with a sign proclaiming, well...
This led to several conflicts with mall security, local policemen and the dean of the local community college. His subsequent banning from the local malls and college led him to create the comic as a tool for his revenge, where he either maimed or killed his enemies in order to settle the score and make readers, paticularly females, pity him and then come to his house and put out. The "Sonichu" character and label was just a trojan horse scheme to disguise the comic's personal nature. Crazy as this is, it got even weirder when Chandler revealed that he believed he had an enormous fan-base numbering in the millions and that video game companies would come to his house any day now to negotiate royalties for Sonichu!
Various other facts about him became known, such as the identities of more characters in the comics, as well as just how disturbing Chandler's personal life was, such as when he continually sexually harrassed a woman from a local game store who attempted to befriend him and who had come to see him as a close friend who could support her in times of need, anectdotes about his racist and homophobic behavior, various sexual fetishes he felt the need to reveal online in youtube videos apparently aimed at children(whom he continually insists are the target audience of his comic, even though he's drawn graphic violence and sex in it), his attempt to blackmail his estranged half-brother(film reviewer Cole Smithey, a man whom I've had the pleasure to meet once at Cannes)into voting for him in a contest, his ludicrous revenge schemes when he lost said contest, and his extreme gullibility towards trolls who decided to harass him, one of whom tricked him into giving them his family photo album, another of whom almost got him in a position to fly to Japan, and one who convinced him, up until relatively recently, that the head troll was a supervillain named the Man in a Pickle Suit. It's also come to light recently that he literally believes his sonichu characters are real.
As horrible as the troll's treatment of Chris has been, what's even more amazing is how he continually digs himself deeper into further trouble that leads to him debasing himself in ways that don't involve or were influenced by the trolls at all. His most infamous video was one where he revealed he took a certain old wive's tale literally, and his method of dealing with it, caught on camera, propelled him to internet superstardom. For the sake of your mental health, I won't go into any further details except by saying that I'll never drink Fanta again. Other, less disturbing videos of note involve him losing a singing contest with a youtube impersonator who claimed that Chris was an impostor named Ian Brandon Anderson and that he was the real deal. Disturbingly, the impostor was exactly everything Chris portrays himself in the comic as. Another memorable video(of which thankfully only the audio remains) was when Chris's father walked in on him masturbating and his father's reaction, wherein his father tried to turn off the computer, but phrased it in a manner that implied he would literally cut the computer down with an ax. Thus was born the "Internet Lumberjack" meme. Chris has been relatively dormant as of late after attempting to shut down a comic parodying his comic, but everyone knows he will be back sooner or later.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsyhCUYJoI8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ty4bLUifoaw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uivpFPC8yOc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4EJxuCHAwxM&feature=related
I could go on for hours, but let me end this simply by saying that Chris not only has stated he will never leave his house, but that he is approaching 30. His parents are in their early 80's and late 60's.
I would also like to add that I feel no hatred for this man, for autistics(despite encounters with some) and that I do not support his trolls. All I can say is that once you've read one factoid about Chris, you end up haunted for life. In 50 years, he will rank with Emperor Norton, Edgar Cayce, Rasputin and Cagliostro as one of history's all time great weird "characters". In other words, Chris's exploits have replaced "train wrecks" as a euphemism for horrible things you can't help but watch.
Oh, and about the "CURSE YE HA-ME-HA!" thing? He thinks that shouting that phrase in real life curses his enemies and brings him good luck. He once used it on the local police. In public. He also calls all police "jerkops". Really. Next time I run into my old pal Deputy Dipshit, I'll be sure to call him that.
Evidence he's an actor: None, really. But would you honestly think he's a real person after reading that Bio without seeing any proof? For the record, some of the ideas that have been touted as irrevocable proof of his reality are kinda faulty, but it's still highly unlikely he's an actor.
Evidence he's sincere: Several news reports predating the internet, first-hand accounts from locals before he ever became famous, the ludicrously elaborate means through which he would have had to go to set this up, and several failed "LOL I TROL U!" attempts he has already pulled.
My guess: To quote the sole surviving character of the slasher film Madman: "He's real".
So I hope you enjoyed my look into the wild and wacky denizens of the internet. As for me, I now am going to go dunk my head in acid. Bye.