(no subject)
Have you ever just sat down and wondered for hours what you were going to do with your life? I think most people do. I have. I still haven't figured it out. There are so many choices, so many things that the world has to offer, and hopefully I have many things to offer the world as well. The hard part is know what I have, what I could have, what I could give, where I should give it...
I've heard that your highschool years are the best of your life. I've also heard that they're the worst. I don't really believe either. I do believe that they can be the most confusing.
I'm sixteen years old. That's still very, very young, but in today's world we're expected to know where we want to go in life by now - we're supposed to know what our career will be, what we'll study in college. Right now, I just don't. I envy those that can say, "I'm going to be a news reporter," or "I'm studying for work in the field of computer science." They say it with such certainty. For them, it sounds to easy, like it's the obvious answer.
I have so many dreams, so many paths in life that I long to explore. I wish that I could pursue them all, but I don't see how that could work. I'm also afraid that if I just choose one to pour myself into, it'll be the wrong one, and I'll find myself stranded ten years down the road, alone and disappointed.
I'm interested in pursuing a career in musical theater. I do it now as a hobby, a time filler, but I've thought about actually making it my life. I've also thought about being a freelance writer, a freelance photographer, an editor, a teacher... and I've got this lovely picture in my mind of owning my own bookstore in some romantic city. A bookstore with it's own little cafe, where I can sit and talk books all day with my customers, where I can sit and read and have a quiet, peaceful life in my own corner of the world.
Could I do it all? Maybe. I don't know. I'm afraid of trying everything and never succeeding at anything. Being a jack of all trades, and a master of none or sorts.
I want to learn. I want to explore what I can do, discover who I can be. But I feel trapped in this forgotten, dead city that I dwell in.
Keep hoping, keep praying, keep on trying. Don't let uncertainty and seemingly dead-ends get you down. God's known for throwing big sudden curves that you never saw coming into your path, maybe He'll do that soon. I think He will. I pray He will.
I've heard it said that when God closes a door, He opens a window. Not true. When God closes a door, He opens another door. The trick is to look for that other door, and be willing to walk through it, instead of standing there staring at the closed door, waiting for it to open again. That's what I've been doing for the past three years. When I moved here, I felt like God slammed a door shut in my face. Ever since then, I've been standing here pounding on that door, begging Him to let me through it, to get me out of here and on with the life I thought I should be living. And God hasn't budged.
I know it's wrong, and it's not getting me anywhere. So, starting today, I'm going to start searching for that other door I know is out there somewhere, because I know it's there.
I've heard that your highschool years are the best of your life. I've also heard that they're the worst. I don't really believe either. I do believe that they can be the most confusing.
I'm sixteen years old. That's still very, very young, but in today's world we're expected to know where we want to go in life by now - we're supposed to know what our career will be, what we'll study in college. Right now, I just don't. I envy those that can say, "I'm going to be a news reporter," or "I'm studying for work in the field of computer science." They say it with such certainty. For them, it sounds to easy, like it's the obvious answer.
I have so many dreams, so many paths in life that I long to explore. I wish that I could pursue them all, but I don't see how that could work. I'm also afraid that if I just choose one to pour myself into, it'll be the wrong one, and I'll find myself stranded ten years down the road, alone and disappointed.
I'm interested in pursuing a career in musical theater. I do it now as a hobby, a time filler, but I've thought about actually making it my life. I've also thought about being a freelance writer, a freelance photographer, an editor, a teacher... and I've got this lovely picture in my mind of owning my own bookstore in some romantic city. A bookstore with it's own little cafe, where I can sit and talk books all day with my customers, where I can sit and read and have a quiet, peaceful life in my own corner of the world.
Could I do it all? Maybe. I don't know. I'm afraid of trying everything and never succeeding at anything. Being a jack of all trades, and a master of none or sorts.
I want to learn. I want to explore what I can do, discover who I can be. But I feel trapped in this forgotten, dead city that I dwell in.
Keep hoping, keep praying, keep on trying. Don't let uncertainty and seemingly dead-ends get you down. God's known for throwing big sudden curves that you never saw coming into your path, maybe He'll do that soon. I think He will. I pray He will.
I've heard it said that when God closes a door, He opens a window. Not true. When God closes a door, He opens another door. The trick is to look for that other door, and be willing to walk through it, instead of standing there staring at the closed door, waiting for it to open again. That's what I've been doing for the past three years. When I moved here, I felt like God slammed a door shut in my face. Ever since then, I've been standing here pounding on that door, begging Him to let me through it, to get me out of here and on with the life I thought I should be living. And God hasn't budged.
I know it's wrong, and it's not getting me anywhere. So, starting today, I'm going to start searching for that other door I know is out there somewhere, because I know it's there.