OMFG I WROTE OT5 FROM TAEMIN'S POV AND I FEEL PEDO FOR IT WHYYYY?
We all share one room, and as much as I love my hyungs, there are some nights when I wish I had my own room. Sometimes, sleeping with the other four members of SHINee gets to be too crowded for me, and I feel as though I don't have any room to breathe. It's those nights that my mind is racing too fast for me to catch any of the jumbled thoughts I'm thinking and the ones I do catch are things I don't want to be thinking.
Like how I'm in love with Jinki hyung's "Onew Sangtae," because it's nice to see a guy not trying to act macho and is okay with being his dorky self. He laughs with everyone else as we sing Onew Condition, and just smiles, throwing his arm around Kibum hyung's shoulder.
Like how I'm in love with Jonghyun-hyung's voice... body... his mind. His mind must be Neverland if he's able to write such breath-taking lyrics. Jonghyun-hyung reminds me so much of my late idol, Michael Jackson, and though my heart hurts I never got to meet the man who broke racial barriers and changed the music industry, I feel as though a piece of him lives in Jonghyun-hyung. (Quite truthfully, I feel as though a piece of him lives in all of us. 20% of SHINee's inspiration is from Michael Jackson.) When Jonghyun-hyung and I are stuck together without schedules, we have thoughtful conversations that make me understand things I never got before.
Like how, even though I'm seventeen, Kibum hyung insists on treating me as his son and has a motherly instinct that I'm in love with so much. Really, I don't mind him doing my laundry, making my bed, cleaning up after me and being my man-umma. I love it, actually.
...Like how I'm in love with Minho-hyung and his comfortable silences and his competitiveness and sports skills. Minho-hyung always has great advice for me, always understands what I go through even though he might have never gone through a situation such as that before. He's the sort of friend that you can always vent and rant to and they'll share their insight and make the problem seem less... problematic.
I'm in love with each of my hyungs and sometimes it hurts because I start thinking they aren't in love with me back. They aren't in love with me, but they do love me. Like a brother, or a son, or a friend.
But as I lay in bed at night, crying over how crowded it feels and how I'm suffocating under all these racing thoughts, I feel myself being pulled into Jinki-hyung's bed, Jonghyun-hyung and Kibum-umma climbing down from their bunks to join us and Minho hyung draping his arm as far as he can around us. It's these nights that I remember that we're not only a family and not only a group. But we're lovers.
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Why do I feel weird writing from Taemin's POV? ;____;