In defense: Kate Austen as a mother
[for Women Fandom Hates Fest day 2]
I'm risking catching flak for this one, I know. Even among Kate fans, after all, there are people who vilify her for raising Aaron. It's not exactly uncommon to hear/read "I like Kate, but..." or "She's great, except for...", and these statements are usually followed by references to her 'stealing' Aaron.
I get most of the reasons why people don't like Kate, even if I don't agree with them. I can understand and respect disliking a particular character! But this one, it plain baffles me. Of all the possible reasons to dislike a character, because she loved a little kid just does not compute with me. At all.
So:
Just a few different points to make about this one:
1. Kate did not steal Aaron.
I've never understood the 'stealing' argument. How any of the circumstances surrounding how Kate ended up with Aaron could ever be construed as malicious theft is beyond me. Let's look at the facts:
-Claire essentially abandoned Aaron in the jungle while she chilled with Ghost!Daddy!SmokeMonster.
-They tried to find Claire. They tried to reunite Aaron with her. They simply couldn't.
-The island was under attack; everyone's lives (Aaron's included) were in immediate danger.
-There was a way off the island, out of danger. Read: there was a way to save the baby's life.
And those are just the on-island bits. Unfortunate, tragic circumstances, yes. Theft/kidnapping? No way. Say it with me, folks: Kate and the rest of the O6 saved Aaron's life by getting him off the island.
2. There is that sticky mess about The Lie.
Yes, I do have some issues with the way The Lie was constructed. But I truly believe the O6 believed they had no choice. They thought they were doing what was safest for everyone, on and off the island. Again, no malicious intent here. An infant needed a mother (and for all they knew, Claire was already dead on the island - remember, they tried to find her). Who else was an option? Aaron obviously, physically, was not Sun's child. Perhaps one of the men could have claimed him as his son, but explaining the absence of record of a traveling partner/pregnant baby mama for one of them would have been much more difficult than passing off a pregnancy for Kate. The only other option, calling him an orphan, would have put him into the system instead of giving him a home and a family.
Also, they had no way of knowing Aaron had blood family back in the real world. They knew Claire to be a single mother who had never mentioned any family. By the time Carole Littleton was discovered, The Lie was too deep. It would have been difficult, even dangerous, to reveal the truth then.
3. Aaron viewed Kate as his true mother.
I'm a firm believer that DNA does not a parent make. Irregardless of how it came about, Kate was raising Aaron. He believed her to be his mother, and she was. (Yes, Claire was also his mother. But also. Not only.) And what's more - Aaron was not damaged by having Kate as his mother - no, she wasn't perfect, but show me a mother who is.
(Tangentially, because I can't believe I'm even bringing this up, it's so ridiculous: I actually read recently someone calling Kate a horrible mother because she lost track of Aaron in the supermarket. Because she "should have put him in a cart." So while you're showing me a perfect mother, show me a parent who has never accidentally lost track of their kid somewhere in public. I mean, really. Kids wander. Also, kids can climb down from carts. Believe me. Oh, believe me.)
4. Kate stopped running for no one - except Aaron.
I find this perhaps the most revealing bit of this entire saga. From the very beginning of the show, Kate was running. She stopped for no one - family, friends, lovers...Tiger don't change its stripes, as Sawyer put it. The one time we saw Kate truly stop running, by her own choice, was when she had Aaron. She settled down. She set up a life. When her lawyer basically told her she could gain significant ground in her trial by using Aaron, she immediately declined. Kate Austen stopped running: arguably her most selfless act in the series.
5. Kate went back to the island to find Claire.
What all the haters seem to forget, most of all, is that Kate intended to reunite Aaron with Claire. Whether or not this ended up being a good idea (Claire didn't exactly seem like a stable, safe mother prospect anymore, after all) is immaterial, and it is left up to our imaginations exactly how things went when they returned from the island. But the fact remains, Kate broke her own heart (man, that scene still kills me) - and also risked her life and gave up her own freedom, once again - giving Aaron up to go find Claire for him.
So, the bottom line: Kate loved Aaron fiercely. Took care of him. Raised him. Protected him. Sacrificed her freedom for him. And ultimately broke her own heart because she believed it was best for him. She was his mother.
Haters, to the left.
I'm risking catching flak for this one, I know. Even among Kate fans, after all, there are people who vilify her for raising Aaron. It's not exactly uncommon to hear/read "I like Kate, but..." or "She's great, except for...", and these statements are usually followed by references to her 'stealing' Aaron.
I get most of the reasons why people don't like Kate, even if I don't agree with them. I can understand and respect disliking a particular character! But this one, it plain baffles me. Of all the possible reasons to dislike a character, because she loved a little kid just does not compute with me. At all.
So:
Just a few different points to make about this one:
1. Kate did not steal Aaron.
I've never understood the 'stealing' argument. How any of the circumstances surrounding how Kate ended up with Aaron could ever be construed as malicious theft is beyond me. Let's look at the facts:
-Claire essentially abandoned Aaron in the jungle while she chilled with Ghost!Daddy!SmokeMonster.
-They tried to find Claire. They tried to reunite Aaron with her. They simply couldn't.
-The island was under attack; everyone's lives (Aaron's included) were in immediate danger.
-There was a way off the island, out of danger. Read: there was a way to save the baby's life.
And those are just the on-island bits. Unfortunate, tragic circumstances, yes. Theft/kidnapping? No way. Say it with me, folks: Kate and the rest of the O6 saved Aaron's life by getting him off the island.
2. There is that sticky mess about The Lie.
Yes, I do have some issues with the way The Lie was constructed. But I truly believe the O6 believed they had no choice. They thought they were doing what was safest for everyone, on and off the island. Again, no malicious intent here. An infant needed a mother (and for all they knew, Claire was already dead on the island - remember, they tried to find her). Who else was an option? Aaron obviously, physically, was not Sun's child. Perhaps one of the men could have claimed him as his son, but explaining the absence of record of a traveling partner/pregnant baby mama for one of them would have been much more difficult than passing off a pregnancy for Kate. The only other option, calling him an orphan, would have put him into the system instead of giving him a home and a family.
Also, they had no way of knowing Aaron had blood family back in the real world. They knew Claire to be a single mother who had never mentioned any family. By the time Carole Littleton was discovered, The Lie was too deep. It would have been difficult, even dangerous, to reveal the truth then.
3. Aaron viewed Kate as his true mother.
I'm a firm believer that DNA does not a parent make. Irregardless of how it came about, Kate was raising Aaron. He believed her to be his mother, and she was. (Yes, Claire was also his mother. But also. Not only.) And what's more - Aaron was not damaged by having Kate as his mother - no, she wasn't perfect, but show me a mother who is.
(Tangentially, because I can't believe I'm even bringing this up, it's so ridiculous: I actually read recently someone calling Kate a horrible mother because she lost track of Aaron in the supermarket. Because she "should have put him in a cart." So while you're showing me a perfect mother, show me a parent who has never accidentally lost track of their kid somewhere in public. I mean, really. Kids wander. Also, kids can climb down from carts. Believe me. Oh, believe me.)
4. Kate stopped running for no one - except Aaron.
I find this perhaps the most revealing bit of this entire saga. From the very beginning of the show, Kate was running. She stopped for no one - family, friends, lovers...Tiger don't change its stripes, as Sawyer put it. The one time we saw Kate truly stop running, by her own choice, was when she had Aaron. She settled down. She set up a life. When her lawyer basically told her she could gain significant ground in her trial by using Aaron, she immediately declined. Kate Austen stopped running: arguably her most selfless act in the series.
5. Kate went back to the island to find Claire.
What all the haters seem to forget, most of all, is that Kate intended to reunite Aaron with Claire. Whether or not this ended up being a good idea (Claire didn't exactly seem like a stable, safe mother prospect anymore, after all) is immaterial, and it is left up to our imaginations exactly how things went when they returned from the island. But the fact remains, Kate broke her own heart (man, that scene still kills me) - and also risked her life and gave up her own freedom, once again - giving Aaron up to go find Claire for him.
So, the bottom line: Kate loved Aaron fiercely. Took care of him. Raised him. Protected him. Sacrificed her freedom for him. And ultimately broke her own heart because she believed it was best for him. She was his mother.
Haters, to the left.