Same old scenario, same old game.
Damn don't I know what I want? I want it and then I change my mind, I make a move and then freeze up when he returns it. I guess follow my gut, I've thought about it logically but still don't know; but my gut keeps changing all the time too. Damn why does there have to be romantic feelings wouldn't this work out better if we were just friends plain and simple and I didn't have to worry? I feel bad I want to hang out with him he's a really cool guy and then I feel like I'm leading him on but then I feel like maybe I do feel something for him, but later when we're with everyone else I don't want anything anymore. I don't want a boyfriend here, at least not now. I'll just tell everyone that and it will make things a lot easier. I'll just pretend I'm lesibian and that's that. I need to talk to him I think, my fluxuation isn't fair to him. And it's not fun for me. I need to go out with some girls, I think tommorrow I'll call Ester she's pretty cool. I like her.
On the other hand, I had a fairly good night. I saw "Di que sí" a spanish movie, which was pretty funny. I enjoyed it. There was a new one today, some guy I knew for 2 minutes told me he couldn't live without me. I reminded him with a raised eyebrow that he'd been living without me his whole life, I'm sure it won't be a problem. I know how to fend off those Latin lovers in a friendly way so they're not too offended but get the hint that I'm not going to fall for their little romantic traps. I end up getting a good amount of "friends" that way, ironically. As in people who talk to me when we see each other on weekends.
Been thinking about friends and the crowd I hang out with. They smoke, drink, smoke pot, but they're cool kids. And they respect my desicions not to get involved with that stuff. I'm usually not uncomfortable, it's a common atmosphere. But I think I'm going to try to go out with other people, see what other people have to offer and maybe find my little niche.
I finished the 2nd Harry Potter book and am working on the 3rd. Got a 7,2 on my music exam but a 3,05 on my language and lit. (out of 10) Hmph. My birthday's Monday, don't have anything special planned until maybe a party next weekend but it's not certain yet. Can't wait to talk to Ryan Katy Elaine Amy tommorrow morning! I got a package! Yay! I don't know from who yet, I'm going to pick it up tommorrow morning.
On the other hand, I had a fairly good night. I saw "Di que sí" a spanish movie, which was pretty funny. I enjoyed it. There was a new one today, some guy I knew for 2 minutes told me he couldn't live without me. I reminded him with a raised eyebrow that he'd been living without me his whole life, I'm sure it won't be a problem. I know how to fend off those Latin lovers in a friendly way so they're not too offended but get the hint that I'm not going to fall for their little romantic traps. I end up getting a good amount of "friends" that way, ironically. As in people who talk to me when we see each other on weekends.
Been thinking about friends and the crowd I hang out with. They smoke, drink, smoke pot, but they're cool kids. And they respect my desicions not to get involved with that stuff. I'm usually not uncomfortable, it's a common atmosphere. But I think I'm going to try to go out with other people, see what other people have to offer and maybe find my little niche.
I finished the 2nd Harry Potter book and am working on the 3rd. Got a 7,2 on my music exam but a 3,05 on my language and lit. (out of 10) Hmph. My birthday's Monday, don't have anything special planned until maybe a party next weekend but it's not certain yet. Can't wait to talk to Ryan Katy Elaine Amy tommorrow morning! I got a package! Yay! I don't know from who yet, I'm going to pick it up tommorrow morning.