(no subject)
She smokes a pack a day. Wait, that's me but anyway. She don't care a thing about that hey. She thinks I'm beautiful.
I stayed home from school today, I have a pretty bad cough. I spent most of the day reading Harry Potter y la cámara secreta. Spanish is so fun. Life's going good. Falling into a ritual. A ritual that I enjoy. I don't like things being the same all the time though. I think I'll stir things up somehow. Consistency is nice, but I find it to be boring. Madre mía. I like being happy. It gets dark fast outside. We think we're so advanced, us humans, but we're really not. We just have no higher model, no means of comparision. Superiority exists only through comparison. Why don't I feel llike doing my Latin homework? Why do we prefer some things over others? Why do things taste different to different people?
Sometimes I think dependency is weak. Needing someone, something in order ot properly function/ survive, or at least to be happy. I was dependent in the past. I accepted all the ideas of those who I admired or thought were smart. I think I've changed that part about myself, and I'm scared to go back. Someone asked me my biggest fear last year, and I said it was to be shallow. To be without depth, to have your life full of ignorance. The life full of important, tramatic trivialities. Although I am by no means an enlightened, self-actualized. The difference is that I want to be. Or perhaps I am self-actualized, but refuse to accept it. Thus contradicting the definition anyway. Is the fact I'm uncertain about the validity of my beliefs, about my foundation; does this make me smarter or just less certain? I'll never get answers I'll get opinions. There's one absolute truth. I think.
I got lucky, I never had many insecurities.
I cried the other night when I was watching the war on TV. What the hell is the US doing there? Why are we still killing innocent people? What are we trying to prove? I am ashamed to call myself American, I am ashamed of my country. The bodies in the streets. Practice what you preach, turn the other cheek.
I stayed home from school today, I have a pretty bad cough. I spent most of the day reading Harry Potter y la cámara secreta. Spanish is so fun. Life's going good. Falling into a ritual. A ritual that I enjoy. I don't like things being the same all the time though. I think I'll stir things up somehow. Consistency is nice, but I find it to be boring. Madre mía. I like being happy. It gets dark fast outside. We think we're so advanced, us humans, but we're really not. We just have no higher model, no means of comparision. Superiority exists only through comparison. Why don't I feel llike doing my Latin homework? Why do we prefer some things over others? Why do things taste different to different people?
Sometimes I think dependency is weak. Needing someone, something in order ot properly function/ survive, or at least to be happy. I was dependent in the past. I accepted all the ideas of those who I admired or thought were smart. I think I've changed that part about myself, and I'm scared to go back. Someone asked me my biggest fear last year, and I said it was to be shallow. To be without depth, to have your life full of ignorance. The life full of important, tramatic trivialities. Although I am by no means an enlightened, self-actualized. The difference is that I want to be. Or perhaps I am self-actualized, but refuse to accept it. Thus contradicting the definition anyway. Is the fact I'm uncertain about the validity of my beliefs, about my foundation; does this make me smarter or just less certain? I'll never get answers I'll get opinions. There's one absolute truth. I think.
I got lucky, I never had many insecurities.
I cried the other night when I was watching the war on TV. What the hell is the US doing there? Why are we still killing innocent people? What are we trying to prove? I am ashamed to call myself American, I am ashamed of my country. The bodies in the streets. Practice what you preach, turn the other cheek.