i was right there for your first breath used to lay you on my chest while you slept..
this song makes me sad and at the same time proud. brother ali really touched my heart as a father with this one.. especially as a divorced father... this and walkin away... *sighs* it fits me so fuckin nice... i just hate it... and at the same time i love it. oh well onto what i was gonna say....
im going in just about an hour down to the police station... what for? to see about becoming a police officer. thats right.. strange mr drug man alcoholic bootleggin no respect for the law teenager is seriously thinking of becoming a police officer. i figure i helped degrade society enough that i should at least give back a little.. but not only that.. i look at the city i live in and feel disgusted.. they pulled us out of the Drug Task Force and now we only have 2 cops in our city.. but the DTF really pissed me off.. why? because im tryin to get xavier to come live with me to go to school(im hopin jaime will agree as our county schools are ranked #1 in education in the whole state) and i hate the idea of him living in a cesspool thats full of crooked city council members and a crooked mayor... and drug haven #1 for meth... i dont like the idea of my son living in this type of enviroment.. i never thought about it really when i was a teen but alot of this shit really bugs me now. i dont have a problem with pot heads.. but if i become a cop that too will be on the list to bust.. but meth scares the shit out of me.. ive seen it ruin my brothers lives.. and make them have to piece it back together.. ones done it.. the other hasnt.. i hate that shit.. and our city is #1 in making and sellin it in our county.. this disturbs me as i want xavier living here... and wow... i dunno i guess i just finally realize as a father i want to make my son proud and safe... i want him to be able to look at me with love understanding respect and pride.. i dont feel he can do the last two as i work at a hotel. if i do become a cop.. then im going to take out a term life insurance on myself.. and make my will that day... my mom and dad have a life insurance policy on me already... moms already agreed that when i take mine out.. they will use theirs on me to bury me and mine will be used to either pay xaviers college or help him get set on his path in life.. im not scared of dying in this sense.. i dont want to die and not see my son grow up.. but as long as i know he will be taken care of im willing to put my life on the line to protect him.. and im not about to join the army because i cant stand what that does to a family life.. i grew up a military(navy) brat and i hate everything the navy and army stand for when it comes to family living.. i respect the people who do it and support them with 100% but i never want to put my son through what i went through when desert storm and the gulf war was goin off.. i still remember my mother lying to me and saying my dad was on a normal sub run and then finding out when he got back that he was off a coast in battlestation positions... that fucking terrified me as a kid and i hated watching him go out to sea after that.. i dont want to put xavier through that.. i have nothing but respect and pride that my dad did it but i cant do that.. so what shall i do? police force.. let the guys who can handle that go over there and protect us and ill return the favor by making their familys safe here.. thats my thoughts at least.. im hoping i can do this.. im actually WANTING to do this.. which is suprising to me.. ive always thought about joining the DTF but... this is something i didnt expect... and yet want... wow.. im just rambling now... anyways... what im going to do now?
i wanna share with you some of brother ali's words... this is why i love 'walkin away'
bye, you aint never gonna see me again if i can help it, little fella take it easy
fresh out of forced tears kisses and hugs
you about to lose the company that misery loves
aint never did nothin but try to cure your disease
at least help the symptoms instead you infected me
im not the kinda man to draw a line in the sand
if you gotta draw at all then its time for you to scram
p.s. you can keep all this shit
and hang around your broke friends and call your self rich
the strugglin i deal with you it was all for nothin
it was never enough your hearts set on sufferin
i admit that i was weak in the beginnin
i wanted someone to lead me instead of a friendship
i didnt think i deserved a true partner
so i transfered the arrangement i had with my mama
since you never listened to a word i ever said
maybe seein this door slam will get it through your head
i dont love you i dont think i ever did
and if you hadnt tried to kill me ida stayed for the kid
theres nothin more for us to say
got my mind made up im walkin away
sometimes we just outgrow the role that we play
hope you find a happy ending to your story someday
round and round and round we used to go
i never fucked you right or made enough bread i know
if im such a bastard who mistreated you so
then how is it your losin your mind to see me go
truth be told i held you together
for all them years and i cheated on you never
defended your honor took in your mama
when she tried to rehab and had your back through the drama
you got a sick stone under your ribs
where a heart is supposed to live
sick twisted and vindictive
with your windows dented
baby in that wicked horrible flesh you must shiver
how you threaten to kill the most precious
gift that youll ever be blessed with
unless your twisted demented and depressed as shit
and alone cuz you faithfully slay your friendships
since you never listen to a word i ever said
maybe seein this door slam will get it through your head
you dont love i dont think you ever did
and if you hadnt tried to kill me ida stayed for the kid
theres nothin more for us to say
got my mind made up im walkin away
sometimes we just outgrow the role that we play
hope you find a happy endin to your story someday
and the whole lyrics to 'Faheem' this is a song i plan on playing constantly around xavier.
i will never stop bein sorry that your home got broken
feel like i owe you for the road that i chose
but i believe things happen the way there supposed to
and youll always be with me where ever i go
i was right there for your first breath
used to lay you on my chest while you slept
i fed you changed you read to you bathed you
i aint tryin to hold that over your head im sayin thank you
god put you in my arms for me to teach you
sometimes i gotta not be popular to reach you
but boy look me in the eye when i speak to you
i tell you these things because i believe in you
these expectations excellence and truth
make good choices and always follow through
but above all else know allah always watch us
and everything we do comes back upon us
alright lets talk about your mommy
i need you to know i used everything inside me
to make you as healthy as you could possibly be
and i just couldnt see a good future for us three
and you gonna have questions as you grow
but theres certain negative things you dont need to know
and baby boy thats what this is about
we live learn and figure it out
i just pray you dont remember us sleepin on the floor
and me cleanin mouse droppins outta your toys
it took alot of hard work for us to get where we at
and young man we aint quittin at that
just know that it hurts me to death when i leave and go tourin
im scared that it might make you feel unimportant
but our bonds so strong that the moment i get off
we seem to pick right back up where we left off
i try to say i do it for you
but in my heart i know thats not entirely true
so if i ever come home and feel it hurt us as friends
swear to god ill never tour again
i aint never met a child quite like you
words dont suffice for me to describe you
you have a genuine goodness inside you
i watch you and wonder if i was ever like you
its me and you brother for life so when you put me in the ground
look for me in the clouds
you make me the definition of proud
taught me what this life is really about
im going in just about an hour down to the police station... what for? to see about becoming a police officer. thats right.. strange mr drug man alcoholic bootleggin no respect for the law teenager is seriously thinking of becoming a police officer. i figure i helped degrade society enough that i should at least give back a little.. but not only that.. i look at the city i live in and feel disgusted.. they pulled us out of the Drug Task Force and now we only have 2 cops in our city.. but the DTF really pissed me off.. why? because im tryin to get xavier to come live with me to go to school(im hopin jaime will agree as our county schools are ranked #1 in education in the whole state) and i hate the idea of him living in a cesspool thats full of crooked city council members and a crooked mayor... and drug haven #1 for meth... i dont like the idea of my son living in this type of enviroment.. i never thought about it really when i was a teen but alot of this shit really bugs me now. i dont have a problem with pot heads.. but if i become a cop that too will be on the list to bust.. but meth scares the shit out of me.. ive seen it ruin my brothers lives.. and make them have to piece it back together.. ones done it.. the other hasnt.. i hate that shit.. and our city is #1 in making and sellin it in our county.. this disturbs me as i want xavier living here... and wow... i dunno i guess i just finally realize as a father i want to make my son proud and safe... i want him to be able to look at me with love understanding respect and pride.. i dont feel he can do the last two as i work at a hotel. if i do become a cop.. then im going to take out a term life insurance on myself.. and make my will that day... my mom and dad have a life insurance policy on me already... moms already agreed that when i take mine out.. they will use theirs on me to bury me and mine will be used to either pay xaviers college or help him get set on his path in life.. im not scared of dying in this sense.. i dont want to die and not see my son grow up.. but as long as i know he will be taken care of im willing to put my life on the line to protect him.. and im not about to join the army because i cant stand what that does to a family life.. i grew up a military(navy) brat and i hate everything the navy and army stand for when it comes to family living.. i respect the people who do it and support them with 100% but i never want to put my son through what i went through when desert storm and the gulf war was goin off.. i still remember my mother lying to me and saying my dad was on a normal sub run and then finding out when he got back that he was off a coast in battlestation positions... that fucking terrified me as a kid and i hated watching him go out to sea after that.. i dont want to put xavier through that.. i have nothing but respect and pride that my dad did it but i cant do that.. so what shall i do? police force.. let the guys who can handle that go over there and protect us and ill return the favor by making their familys safe here.. thats my thoughts at least.. im hoping i can do this.. im actually WANTING to do this.. which is suprising to me.. ive always thought about joining the DTF but... this is something i didnt expect... and yet want... wow.. im just rambling now... anyways... what im going to do now?
i wanna share with you some of brother ali's words... this is why i love 'walkin away'
bye, you aint never gonna see me again if i can help it, little fella take it easy
fresh out of forced tears kisses and hugs
you about to lose the company that misery loves
aint never did nothin but try to cure your disease
at least help the symptoms instead you infected me
im not the kinda man to draw a line in the sand
if you gotta draw at all then its time for you to scram
p.s. you can keep all this shit
and hang around your broke friends and call your self rich
the strugglin i deal with you it was all for nothin
it was never enough your hearts set on sufferin
i admit that i was weak in the beginnin
i wanted someone to lead me instead of a friendship
i didnt think i deserved a true partner
so i transfered the arrangement i had with my mama
since you never listened to a word i ever said
maybe seein this door slam will get it through your head
i dont love you i dont think i ever did
and if you hadnt tried to kill me ida stayed for the kid
theres nothin more for us to say
got my mind made up im walkin away
sometimes we just outgrow the role that we play
hope you find a happy ending to your story someday
round and round and round we used to go
i never fucked you right or made enough bread i know
if im such a bastard who mistreated you so
then how is it your losin your mind to see me go
truth be told i held you together
for all them years and i cheated on you never
defended your honor took in your mama
when she tried to rehab and had your back through the drama
you got a sick stone under your ribs
where a heart is supposed to live
sick twisted and vindictive
with your windows dented
baby in that wicked horrible flesh you must shiver
how you threaten to kill the most precious
gift that youll ever be blessed with
unless your twisted demented and depressed as shit
and alone cuz you faithfully slay your friendships
since you never listen to a word i ever said
maybe seein this door slam will get it through your head
you dont love i dont think you ever did
and if you hadnt tried to kill me ida stayed for the kid
theres nothin more for us to say
got my mind made up im walkin away
sometimes we just outgrow the role that we play
hope you find a happy endin to your story someday
and the whole lyrics to 'Faheem' this is a song i plan on playing constantly around xavier.
i will never stop bein sorry that your home got broken
feel like i owe you for the road that i chose
but i believe things happen the way there supposed to
and youll always be with me where ever i go
i was right there for your first breath
used to lay you on my chest while you slept
i fed you changed you read to you bathed you
i aint tryin to hold that over your head im sayin thank you
god put you in my arms for me to teach you
sometimes i gotta not be popular to reach you
but boy look me in the eye when i speak to you
i tell you these things because i believe in you
these expectations excellence and truth
make good choices and always follow through
but above all else know allah always watch us
and everything we do comes back upon us
alright lets talk about your mommy
i need you to know i used everything inside me
to make you as healthy as you could possibly be
and i just couldnt see a good future for us three
and you gonna have questions as you grow
but theres certain negative things you dont need to know
and baby boy thats what this is about
we live learn and figure it out
i just pray you dont remember us sleepin on the floor
and me cleanin mouse droppins outta your toys
it took alot of hard work for us to get where we at
and young man we aint quittin at that
just know that it hurts me to death when i leave and go tourin
im scared that it might make you feel unimportant
but our bonds so strong that the moment i get off
we seem to pick right back up where we left off
i try to say i do it for you
but in my heart i know thats not entirely true
so if i ever come home and feel it hurt us as friends
swear to god ill never tour again
i aint never met a child quite like you
words dont suffice for me to describe you
you have a genuine goodness inside you
i watch you and wonder if i was ever like you
its me and you brother for life so when you put me in the ground
look for me in the clouds
you make me the definition of proud
taught me what this life is really about