(no subject)
Kelly has lipstick on one of her two front teeth. Normally when ladies or girls have lipstick on their front teeth it's not too obvious but Kelly has these magnificent chompers that catch the light just right sometimes that you'll go blind. That and they stick so far out of her mouth that I'm afraid "buck teeth" isn't even what I would call them. There has to be another word for them, another name that I could give them but nothing comes to mind.
Women ingest 2 to 4 pounds of lipstick a year. Lipstick is made out of wax. Probably the same wax they use for kids with braces, the kind you put on the sharp, poking wires. Or the kind they make yankee candles out of. Even better, maybe the same wax that they use to smear across the legs of skinny models to remove hair from their legs. Maybe it's that exact wax. Who knows. Either way, most women, they eat too much lipstick. They should give it a break, Kelly included in this group of women.
I spend the next hour of my shift debating on telling her she has a maroon smudge right across her gleaming white teeth. I take rewards cards, coupons, money, checks, and so much more from people and ask them how they are and if they found everything they needed but lets be honest- the whole time I'm just thinking about how to tell Kelly that she painted her front tooth a little bit and it looks like she's been eating shit sandwhiches for lunch. Like, she should really go fix that in the ladies room or something.
When I look at the poor girl all I can see is that one spot. That one spot on her front teeth. It's all that I see when I look at her and it's really a problem because I'm starting to not even be able to do my job. I want to reach over and grab the back of her head and pry her lips open and rub at the big tooth with the pad of my thumb until it's gone but I'm afraid of the damage she could do with those monsters: bite my entire thumb off, cut me, get confused when I'm trying to pull her closer and go in for the kill. And by that I mean, try to kiss me with her lipsticked mouth.
I don't know what to say so I move through another hour of my shift, going through the motions a bit more awkward than I normally would. Taking rewards cards, coupons, money, checks, and so much more from people and asking them how they are, did they find all the lipstick they needed today... I mean, did they find everything okay today? Did they need help finding something? That is until Kelly tells me it's time for her to go home. I smile and nod, thank her for bagging for me, tell her I'll see her around. And that's that. I thought Kelly would walk off and I'd be freed of everything lipstick related for the day.
But wouldn't you know it, that Kelly with her long blond hair all the way down to her ass, the big coke bottle glasses, and gleaming white chompers- she grins real wide, her teeth popping out from her mouth, the lipstick smeared just so on that front tooth, and winks behind those coke bottle glasses before walking off, her hair trailing behind her.
For a few moments I just stare, confused. I turn to the next customer in line eventually. I ask, "How are you?" Again, emphasis on the 'you' so they know not to ask. I don't want to get into how I am. I don't want to talk about it.
Women ingest 2 to 4 pounds of lipstick a year. Lipstick is made out of wax. Probably the same wax they use for kids with braces, the kind you put on the sharp, poking wires. Or the kind they make yankee candles out of. Even better, maybe the same wax that they use to smear across the legs of skinny models to remove hair from their legs. Maybe it's that exact wax. Who knows. Either way, most women, they eat too much lipstick. They should give it a break, Kelly included in this group of women.
I spend the next hour of my shift debating on telling her she has a maroon smudge right across her gleaming white teeth. I take rewards cards, coupons, money, checks, and so much more from people and ask them how they are and if they found everything they needed but lets be honest- the whole time I'm just thinking about how to tell Kelly that she painted her front tooth a little bit and it looks like she's been eating shit sandwhiches for lunch. Like, she should really go fix that in the ladies room or something.
When I look at the poor girl all I can see is that one spot. That one spot on her front teeth. It's all that I see when I look at her and it's really a problem because I'm starting to not even be able to do my job. I want to reach over and grab the back of her head and pry her lips open and rub at the big tooth with the pad of my thumb until it's gone but I'm afraid of the damage she could do with those monsters: bite my entire thumb off, cut me, get confused when I'm trying to pull her closer and go in for the kill. And by that I mean, try to kiss me with her lipsticked mouth.
I don't know what to say so I move through another hour of my shift, going through the motions a bit more awkward than I normally would. Taking rewards cards, coupons, money, checks, and so much more from people and asking them how they are, did they find all the lipstick they needed today... I mean, did they find everything okay today? Did they need help finding something? That is until Kelly tells me it's time for her to go home. I smile and nod, thank her for bagging for me, tell her I'll see her around. And that's that. I thought Kelly would walk off and I'd be freed of everything lipstick related for the day.
But wouldn't you know it, that Kelly with her long blond hair all the way down to her ass, the big coke bottle glasses, and gleaming white chompers- she grins real wide, her teeth popping out from her mouth, the lipstick smeared just so on that front tooth, and winks behind those coke bottle glasses before walking off, her hair trailing behind her.
For a few moments I just stare, confused. I turn to the next customer in line eventually. I ask, "How are you?" Again, emphasis on the 'you' so they know not to ask. I don't want to get into how I am. I don't want to talk about it.