(no subject)
i'm changing.
i remember at the end of senior year, i was in a Bible study with two of my closest friends and my youth pastor, and my youth pastor asked us what it meant to be a man. michael and devon both said some things, then affirmed that they knew they were there. i said some things, and then affirmed that i wasn't. i knew at the time that i still was a boy.
i'm not entirely sure i'd still agree with the things all of us said about what makes us men. what makes me a man. what seperates the men from the boys. and it isn't the use of big words. it isn't the transition to talking about things that are important instead of mom jokes. it isn't even really about being more confident and assertive. and it's also not about having more facial hair.
those are all just signs that we're getting older. signs that we are adults. but being a male adult doesn't make you a man. doing all the things that most men consider manly don't make you a man. following every single man law will not make you a man.
i'm not even sure if i can explain what marks the transition. maybe some day i'll gather my thoughts and write up what i believe about this subject.
but i know one thing. i'm a man now.
this project has already changed me, and i'm not sure i can really explain all the different ways it has. i guess one of the biggest ways is how i use my time. on a broad, and on a narrow scale. it's having answers to the question why i'm on this earth. but even more importantly, why i'm in Florida, why i go to UF, why i'm living in the dorm i'm living in. the practical responses to the philosophical questions. i've spent so much time sitting around thinking about answers to questions that don't really matter. not that it's bad that i did. but i needed to take the next step. it doesn't matter what you believe. it never matters what you believe. there has never been anyone who has ever done anything good simply by believing something. it matters what we do about belief.
anything we believe, truly believe, needs to make a difference in our life. if we say we believe something, and then it doesn't affect our life, we may as well not believe it. we spend our whole lives talking about what we believe. there are very, very few people who go around living about what they believe. if God is who i believe Him to be, then that needs to change the way i live. if God wants me to live the way i believe He wants me to live, then that needs to change my life.
i've spent so much time thinking that i believed something. i had a belief that meant basically nothing. that has to end.
"you have been bought with a price, you are not your own."
i believe that. i think it's time i start acting like it.
i remember at the end of senior year, i was in a Bible study with two of my closest friends and my youth pastor, and my youth pastor asked us what it meant to be a man. michael and devon both said some things, then affirmed that they knew they were there. i said some things, and then affirmed that i wasn't. i knew at the time that i still was a boy.
i'm not entirely sure i'd still agree with the things all of us said about what makes us men. what makes me a man. what seperates the men from the boys. and it isn't the use of big words. it isn't the transition to talking about things that are important instead of mom jokes. it isn't even really about being more confident and assertive. and it's also not about having more facial hair.
those are all just signs that we're getting older. signs that we are adults. but being a male adult doesn't make you a man. doing all the things that most men consider manly don't make you a man. following every single man law will not make you a man.
i'm not even sure if i can explain what marks the transition. maybe some day i'll gather my thoughts and write up what i believe about this subject.
but i know one thing. i'm a man now.
this project has already changed me, and i'm not sure i can really explain all the different ways it has. i guess one of the biggest ways is how i use my time. on a broad, and on a narrow scale. it's having answers to the question why i'm on this earth. but even more importantly, why i'm in Florida, why i go to UF, why i'm living in the dorm i'm living in. the practical responses to the philosophical questions. i've spent so much time sitting around thinking about answers to questions that don't really matter. not that it's bad that i did. but i needed to take the next step. it doesn't matter what you believe. it never matters what you believe. there has never been anyone who has ever done anything good simply by believing something. it matters what we do about belief.
anything we believe, truly believe, needs to make a difference in our life. if we say we believe something, and then it doesn't affect our life, we may as well not believe it. we spend our whole lives talking about what we believe. there are very, very few people who go around living about what they believe. if God is who i believe Him to be, then that needs to change the way i live. if God wants me to live the way i believe He wants me to live, then that needs to change my life.
i've spent so much time thinking that i believed something. i had a belief that meant basically nothing. that has to end.
"you have been bought with a price, you are not your own."
i believe that. i think it's time i start acting like it.