pain - part 2
soooo. im home now from the er. it was good fun gots to love getting poked with needles and probed and what not....cant beat it. . . so the verdict. i have a fibroid inside of my lady part (uterus - for those of you who need things to be a tid bit more blunt) .... its bleeding internally and causing me a great deal of pain....thank you fibroid - where would i be without you?? the good news is that i dont have any cysts on my ovaries....the bad news is WTF do you do to make a fibroid go away??? like WHAT DO YOU DO?? i have no clue...so well basically i got some drugs and ya know a recommendation to go to my OBGYN asap so he can answer the bad news question....im sure theres some sort of crazy drugs or like invasive process that ill have to deal with.....i guess it gives me something to do since ive been having so much time on my hands since my hours got cut at work.....meh meh meh
i leave you with a excerpt from Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk (this is what happens when a thirteen year old boy finds creative ways to jack off theres a couple of other good ideas in the book but try in the pool with his ass on the suction pump for added pleasure..aka pearl diving..this is what goes through his mind as his insides are being removed---a great idea gone terribly wrong)
'you want to feel your intestines, go buy a pack of lambskin condoms. take one out and unroll it. pack it with peanut butter. smear it with petroleum jelly and hold it underwater. then try to tear it. try to pull it in half. its too tough and rubbery. its so slimy you cant hold on. a lamb skin condom, thats just plain old intestine. now, you can see what im up against. you let go for a second, and youre gutted. you swim for the surface, for a breath, and youre gutted. you dont swim, and you drown. its a choice from being dead right now or a minute from now. what my folks will find after work is a big naked fetus curled in on itself. floating in the cloudy water of their backyard pool. tethered to the bottom by a thick rope of veins and twisted guts. the opposite of a kid hanging himself to death while he jacks off. this is the baby they brought home from the hospital thirteen years ago. heres the kid they hoped would snag football scholarship or an M.B.A. whod care for them in their old age. heres all their hopes and dreams. floating here, naked and dead. all around him, big milky pearls of wasted sperm.........otherwise what you have to do is--you have to twist around. you hook one elbow behind your knee and pull that leg up into your face. you bite and snap at your own ass. you run out of air, and yu will chew through anything to get that next breath. its not something you want to tell a girl on the first date. not if you expect a kiss goodnight. if i told you how it tasted, you would never, ever again eat calamari'
SIDE NOTE: my doc in the er saw that i was reading this book and we had a nice discussion about the story that this excerpt is from...it was the mot memorable part of the book for him.......i havent finished but so far i second that......and YOU should def read this book if you like disturbing summer reading.....
i leave you with a excerpt from Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk (this is what happens when a thirteen year old boy finds creative ways to jack off theres a couple of other good ideas in the book but try in the pool with his ass on the suction pump for added pleasure..aka pearl diving..this is what goes through his mind as his insides are being removed---a great idea gone terribly wrong)
'you want to feel your intestines, go buy a pack of lambskin condoms. take one out and unroll it. pack it with peanut butter. smear it with petroleum jelly and hold it underwater. then try to tear it. try to pull it in half. its too tough and rubbery. its so slimy you cant hold on. a lamb skin condom, thats just plain old intestine. now, you can see what im up against. you let go for a second, and youre gutted. you swim for the surface, for a breath, and youre gutted. you dont swim, and you drown. its a choice from being dead right now or a minute from now. what my folks will find after work is a big naked fetus curled in on itself. floating in the cloudy water of their backyard pool. tethered to the bottom by a thick rope of veins and twisted guts. the opposite of a kid hanging himself to death while he jacks off. this is the baby they brought home from the hospital thirteen years ago. heres the kid they hoped would snag football scholarship or an M.B.A. whod care for them in their old age. heres all their hopes and dreams. floating here, naked and dead. all around him, big milky pearls of wasted sperm.........otherwise what you have to do is--you have to twist around. you hook one elbow behind your knee and pull that leg up into your face. you bite and snap at your own ass. you run out of air, and yu will chew through anything to get that next breath. its not something you want to tell a girl on the first date. not if you expect a kiss goodnight. if i told you how it tasted, you would never, ever again eat calamari'
SIDE NOTE: my doc in the er saw that i was reading this book and we had a nice discussion about the story that this excerpt is from...it was the mot memorable part of the book for him.......i havent finished but so far i second that......and YOU should def read this book if you like disturbing summer reading.....