(no subject)
my taxes are costing me a lot of money. i sent out the checks today.
-the reason i'm so adamant about paying my taxes is because i need them to get an oregon tattoo license.
-the reason i'm getting an oregon tattoo license is because i want to move to portland, and have been tentatively thinking about doing so.
-the reason i want to move there is because i am not happy here and my life needs to change, and numerous opportunities have presented themselves there.
-the reason i am not happy here is because i don't like working for non-tattoo artists, i don't like relying on cars/friends for transportation, and i don't like feeling like i'm already gone when i'm still right there.
-the reason i feel like i'm already gone is because i won't really be missed for my relationships with people as much as for the favors i do and the material things i'm taking with me.
-the reason those relationships won't be missed is because i have allowed them to become stale, overbearing and ultimately, drowning in a perpetual state of insecurity, boredom, and spirit-draining routine.
-the reason i allowed them to get that way is because it was comfortable, and livable. not good, not bad... i just never put the effort in to seek anything but contentment.
-the reason i never tried was because i just couldn't communicate it. amazing, how these things are right in front of you, and they mean the world to you, and they are always in your thoughts, and they may as well be the only things left on the planet, that's how much you care for them.... and you just can't fucking say it, because you're too bothered about your own stupid, petty, selfish, insecure, fucking useless corner of the world to notice that you're stepping on everyone else's.
-the reason i'm so adamant about paying my taxes is because i need them to get an oregon tattoo license.
-the reason i'm getting an oregon tattoo license is because i want to move to portland, and have been tentatively thinking about doing so.
-the reason i want to move there is because i am not happy here and my life needs to change, and numerous opportunities have presented themselves there.
-the reason i am not happy here is because i don't like working for non-tattoo artists, i don't like relying on cars/friends for transportation, and i don't like feeling like i'm already gone when i'm still right there.
-the reason i feel like i'm already gone is because i won't really be missed for my relationships with people as much as for the favors i do and the material things i'm taking with me.
-the reason those relationships won't be missed is because i have allowed them to become stale, overbearing and ultimately, drowning in a perpetual state of insecurity, boredom, and spirit-draining routine.
-the reason i allowed them to get that way is because it was comfortable, and livable. not good, not bad... i just never put the effort in to seek anything but contentment.
-the reason i never tried was because i just couldn't communicate it. amazing, how these things are right in front of you, and they mean the world to you, and they are always in your thoughts, and they may as well be the only things left on the planet, that's how much you care for them.... and you just can't fucking say it, because you're too bothered about your own stupid, petty, selfish, insecure, fucking useless corner of the world to notice that you're stepping on everyone else's.