not good
so, i have been not so good lately. I dunno, i've been starting to feel like i was feeling back in jr. year. THE WORST year of my life. I feel so down and depressed. Not good enough, lonely, stressed, tired, like a bad person. I dunno, i try to snap myself out of it, but its not working. I keep looking back at who I was senior year, I loved that person. I was so outgoing and comfortable with myself. Now, i feel like a bitch who is lonely and lazy. I dunno what started it. UGH! i just don't know. I have been crying for random reasons. I ended things with nick. I did it! i dunno, i did it through a text message...haha...that was a little harsh but he had it coming. school is really hard, i am having trouble keeping up with my classes. work is demanding. i work all the time!! if i am not at school i am working and if i happen to be home, all i wanna do is lay down and watch tv or sleep and NOT do school work. so i have to do it at school, but i am too tired to concentrate there. UGH...i dunno i am just WHATEVER. maybe with my birthday coming up things will get cheerier. i dunno...i'm sad :( and i don't like being sad...i liked it when i was always laughing and smiling and talking to people and making other people laugh. I guess I liked the attention? and not that my friends have moved and are busy and all i am doing is constantly going, i am not getting attention? lol..i dunno...all i know is something needs to change. I am excited about two things, 1. my cousin (the one that i have had issues with for a LONG time) and I are going to start going to the gym MWF in the morning, i am REALLY excited about that! 2. my BIRTHDAY!! Neha and I invited a BUNCH of people to come with us to Great America. we want ALL of our family and friends to be there!! I am soo excited!! it is going to be soo much fun!! alot better then staying home with my friends and renting a bunch of movies. well...send me smiles and laughter and maybe things will be looking up from here on out...thanks...love you all!!! bye*