with your back against the wall
bruising my ego in return i suppose i shouldnt really be surprised. not a word for days, then a 'wot ya up to?' after I was already at work. he's going to the simpsons with hayden today, after taking his girlfriend last night. Recalling the conversation just making white noise behind my eyes. originally almost enough for blinding anger, rejection and hurt, but now the fiftieth time around my head I'm left thinking of the words as if they're not even the same words. maybe when he text in the first place he would have asked me to go to the movies if i hadnt been at work, maybe he didnt just text me to tell me he and hayden were going to the simpsons, and maybe when i just made a normal comment 'yea i heard it's really good' he didnt mean to rub it in telling me he had been the night before too.
maybe I'm just oversensitive.
maybe I shouldnt be hurt.
I thought at first he was just pissed that i've been seeing more of my ex lately and at times when I would have been seeing him. but thinking about it more it's not that I've been seeing my ex, it's that i'm still caught up in the emotional damage with my ex. the dust hasnt settled yet and just as he was getting ready to stir it up summore the universe did it for us, throwing dave back in the mix and conspiring against us.
if it were him I'd do the same, I'd roll my eyes, huff and sulk for a while. I'd be blunt and make sure he knew i went without him too, and yea, I'd rub it in.
but knowing i'd do the same doesnt make a difference. he can go ahead and be mad at me for seeing dave more, he's got a freakin girlfriend anyway. and as jealous as he sounds when he asks who's texting me so late, he's still got his freaking girlfriend. And when he txt me until i woke up to go to the simpsons with him, he still had his girlfriend.
And i'm just trying to be freakin friends with dave again.
All of these things, all these little things, wouldnt anyone else think that he liked me too? am I just a moron? is spending every day together, before and after work just something you do with your friend because you're bored and want some pot?
Did i just read something into it that wasnt there?
I'm not five. I dont want to play cat and mouse anymore. no matter if i'm the cat or the mouse, I have no energy to run.
With every day that passes leaving town becomes more and more appealing.
maybe I'm just oversensitive.
maybe I shouldnt be hurt.
I thought at first he was just pissed that i've been seeing more of my ex lately and at times when I would have been seeing him. but thinking about it more it's not that I've been seeing my ex, it's that i'm still caught up in the emotional damage with my ex. the dust hasnt settled yet and just as he was getting ready to stir it up summore the universe did it for us, throwing dave back in the mix and conspiring against us.
if it were him I'd do the same, I'd roll my eyes, huff and sulk for a while. I'd be blunt and make sure he knew i went without him too, and yea, I'd rub it in.
but knowing i'd do the same doesnt make a difference. he can go ahead and be mad at me for seeing dave more, he's got a freakin girlfriend anyway. and as jealous as he sounds when he asks who's texting me so late, he's still got his freaking girlfriend. And when he txt me until i woke up to go to the simpsons with him, he still had his girlfriend.
And i'm just trying to be freakin friends with dave again.
All of these things, all these little things, wouldnt anyone else think that he liked me too? am I just a moron? is spending every day together, before and after work just something you do with your friend because you're bored and want some pot?
Did i just read something into it that wasnt there?
I'm not five. I dont want to play cat and mouse anymore. no matter if i'm the cat or the mouse, I have no energy to run.
With every day that passes leaving town becomes more and more appealing.