Level 1
I did not mention in my last entry, is that I have been turning my daily to-do-lists into a game. I earn a point here and there after completing tasks on my list and add all of the points up at the end of the day, it's effective in keeping productive. When I get a thousand points, I will get to "Level 2", which means absolutely nothing. By the end of this week I will have earned 67 experience points. I got a long way to go to level 2.
Week 3, May 20 - 26, 2013
"History is written by the winners."
-Alex Haley
Assemble - This week, as my daily planner, "quote of the week" states, is that this week is all about the winners. I don't believe in best and worst, winners and losers, but that is who we create common social constructs, a world in which I must accept the black-and-white illusions created.
On Monday and Tuesday I taught at a private school. We did the hacking objects lesson, where kids take LED's solar panels, small motors and a bunch of craft projects and create something with them. Unlike the public school kids I usually work with, they needed very little super vision. I let two of the kids make a cross bow out of cardboard tubes. They kept refining their object and could explain the educational value of making it. They have all of the advantages compared to the normal students I work with. I hope they really did learn something and had fun.
Art House - Dylan brought over some varnish and I put three coats on the paintings going up on Bryant Street. Later he told me that he did not like that I did not spell out "house" but rather drew a little graphic of one for "art house" on one of the paintings. Why did he not tell me about this before he gave me the varnish?
Foose and Nicki, to of my room mates, moved out on Friday, and I helped move a load of things. Foose had been keeping all of his things in the Living room, as Matt had already moved in, and I was beginning to feel claustrophobic. He has so much junk. It was nice to get some of it out, but he still has a lot of things still sitting around. I might have to put some of it in the basement if he doesn't get back her by June.
My brother has a new roommate moving in so we moved the last of my things in his basement over to my place. He patched my bike tire that had popped last week.
Nonprofit - I got my contract squared off and started work this week. I feel like I can learn a lot from Mary and I hope I am helpful. I was feeling a lot of stress though, being that this was an actual professional job.
Ma'am-So-Real - On Wednesday, after my first real day of work at the nonprofit, I went to see Ma'am-So-Real. We are eating at the Double Wide Grill with Yam Sung and she is mentioning how she wants to make out with this kid Justin. I told her not to talk about that in front of me, I don't want to hear it. She says, "Well he stood me up today, so he's on probation." After eating, Ma'am-So-Real says she wants a bond fire, so we go back to Art House and I put together a fire while she gets cheapies.
She appears with the guy Justin and his friend. Justin is a nice enough guy, it's just obvious that he is interested in Ma'am-So-Real, and she is playing with that, I wasn't all-in-all that happy with how she was toying with him. We stay up late playing childish drinking games, insisted on by Justin. Finally it's time to go to bed and Ma'am-So-Real goes up to my room and tells me to tell the other boys that she's asleep. I took down blankets and pillows for them to sleep on the couch.
When I get back up stairs I lay down and try to spoon Ma'am-So-Real. She says "don't touch me." I sulked about it for a second, saying I just wanted to hold her for a minuet, it was a long day for me. She gets up and says "I'll just leave." At that point I snapped, I felt like, don't mess around with me. I began to yell saying "Get out of here! Leave!" I was so angry I called her a string of bad words, one was "whore" and I saw her look down, the pain she felt from hearing that word. I really felt bad about that, I never use that word. I threw her stuff down the stairs, including her precious smart phone. I through it in a way that I sort of knew it wouldn't get damaged. I get jealous of that phone, how she is more interested in Instagram than spending time with me.
I took her bike outside and when she was putzing around not putting on her shoes, I grabbed her shoes and put them out on the dry porch. I told Justin and his friend to go with her, locked the door and went to sleep.
I felt terrible about being so angry the next day. I went into work and got a little bit of work done and taught comics club. I felt so shitty on that rainy day. In the evening I went to the Mathematicians. They were having a party in honor of their son, who had passed away in 2008 from kidney failure. There I saw my friend Potatoes, who it turns out is friends with one of the campaign staff for Peduto. She was apparently around on Cinco de Mayo when Jenny told off Peduto at Mad Mex for not attending the Pittsburgh Marathon. Potatoes also knows Ma'am-So-Real from the Blue Moon, and her telling off Sharon Needles.
After the party I talked to Ma'am-So-Real on the phone. I apologized for the word I said and throwing her stuff down the stairs, but I didn't apologize for getting angry. Things are always so up and down with her. I hate getting mad like that, but everyone has a boiling point. I feel like she doesn't put my feelings into account. As much as I love her and care about her I don't know if we really want the same things. I just want to feel warmth sometimes, she seems like she's kinda bored of me at this point. On the phone, she told me to expect a phone call from her mother and started screaming at me to never talk to her again, so I hung up the phone.
I did feel horrible about it and messaged her good friend and sister and just talked about how I really just wanted to work things out. They were supportive. But I am yet to talk to Ma'am-So-Real, she is probably still pissed at me. And maybe she will never forgive me. I edited together all of the Mummy footage of us and put it on the internet, sharing it with her friends, hoping that one would share it with her.
Zines - With Ma'am-So-Real out of the picture, I decided to focus on trying to finish up this Andromeda video. I sent it to the people I interviewed after a lot of work. I got some pretty positive responses. I only need to make a couple of changes and it should be done next week. Juan Fernandez e-mailed me and was interested in helping out with comics classes this summer, I responded and he never got back to me. Paula said she was interested in helping out with the zine fair and I made some initial e-mails to set up a date for our first meeting.
I saw my old friend Erin, who had just moved back to Pittsburgh. I felt like I was being a disappointment to her or something. We stopped by the Free Market in Friendship Park. I got a new daily planner there. I bought a few zines at the Big Idea.